Words from Dic(tionary)
Adopt: (v) to legally take another’s child and bring it up as one’s own
I think the definition for success is something that catches our fancy that we’re still willing to do when it ends up being more difficult than we thought.
About seventeen years ago, I decided to take three young boys into my home. Their mother had just gone through a very hostile divorce and the fellows were a little shell-shocked by the whole experience. Fortunately for me, I had a son of my own who was about the same age as the middle child in the trio. It made for a nice situation and seemed quite logical.
I will tell you that logic is what fools refer to as tribulation when they discover there’s hard work ahead. Yes–NOTHING is easy. It’s not meant to be. Matter of fact, adopting anything immediately demands that you use another similar word: adapt.
I learned a long time ago that just because I want to do something is reason enough for everybody in the world to come against it. After I had my motives questioned, my sanity perused and got accused by some of the family members of the mother of being a “cult leader,” I realized that merely trying to pursue generosity makes cautious people get pissed off.
I had to adapt. I had to learn that I was getting to know these young men slowly and needed to gain their respect by being honest and forthcoming.
And the truth of the matter is, if you adopt something and you’re willing to adapt, after a time you will become more adept.
Yes, I got better at being a father.
I am grateful that I ended up with seven opportunities to do so–because in many ways, I think I needed them all.
In the late eighteenth century, when our country adopted a Constitution, we had no idea what trouble we would cause for ourselves. We are still adapting, with the prospect of becoming adept looming in the distance.
Don’t get discouraged. It gets better as long as you don’t give up on the purity–and the joy–of the original decision.