dictionary with letter A

Antiperspirant: (n) a substance applied to the skin, especially under the arms, to reduce or prevent perspiration.

“Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.”

Of course, if I were editing that statement, I would probably change it to, “Vanity, vanity–gosh-darn, so much is vanity.”

That’s because I’ve been raised, live and function in a very safe era, in which the selection of our thoughts and deeds is so scrutinized that no one really says or accomplishes much.

My exact sentiments on antiperspirant.

Just like the next guy–or most of them–I don’t like to stink. There are levels of odor which come from the human body which are acceptable, but they must fall in the range between putrid and floral. Finding that balance has created great concern and consternation among the masses, and also profit margin for those who amass a fortune playing off of the insecurity.

And even though we’ve been warned from our youth not to “sweat the small stuff,” when we remove all sweat from the human experience, we overheat and possibly explode.

Yes, sweat is how we cool off.

A dog does it by panting. (I am personally grateful that our Creator passed on that for us. If you don’t mind, I will save my panting for the top of that second flight of stairs.)

Instead, we expel water and salt, which mingles with bacteria on our skin to form a concoction which can smell anywhere from “wet towel” to “skunk.”

But if you remove that process from our biology, we suffer. It is the only method the human has for cooling down the old engine before we blow the radiator cap.

So it is possible to let my armpits sweat just enough that my fleshly unit doesn’t dribble the moisture down my legs, while also requesting that this mini-geyser of fluid remain semi-fragrant, without ending up completely against perspiration.

Yes, I think the antiperspirant is a parable of our times.

We want to perspire.

We just refuse to sweat.


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Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix