Words from Dic(tionary)

by J. R. Practix

Acropolis: (n.) a citadel or fortified part of an ancient Greek city, typically built on a hill; in Athens, the Acropolis contained the Parthenon and other notable buildings, mostly dating from the 5th century BC.

I would not have enjoyed being a Greek.

First of all–it’s the tunic.

On occasions when I journey for a long period of time, or when I’ve eaten a large pastrami sandwich, my ankles can swell. So there I’d be–wearing this little dress, with hairless, fat calves–and cankles. No way to disguise it with socks and shoes. See what I mean?

And then there’s the design of the tunic itself. Didn’t they kind of blouse at the top? Which would transform me from appearing burly to seeming buxom.

I don’t think I would have liked Socrates, Aristotle and Plato, either. I do like to get into philosophical discussions, but I tend to mingle them with intervals of silliness, including child-like voices, gurgling sounds and Loony Tune impersonations. They probably would have found this annoying.

And I don’t think I would have fit in to the high sense of society that existed on the Acropolis with the Athenians. Because high-brow conversations give me the feeling that I’m trying to be something that I’m not, and the end of that journey is always deception, inevitably exposed.

I’m not so sure I would have agreed with the concept of a “pure democracy” either. Even though in America we tout the beauty of “one man, one vote” and the majority rule, I have too often seen the majority being not only wrong, but also devious and destitute of spiritual insight.

Sometimes truth trickles down to the minority, who sanctifies it through their pain until such a time that the voice of reason can be heard.

No, I don’t think I would have fit into the Acropolis. Could I even have climbed it? It certainly would have taken me most of the morning.

And when I got there, instead of being a writer, a family man and a fun-loving guy, I would probably have been deemed … a Greek geek.