Defective

Defective: (adj) having a defect or flaw; faulty

 Ever since I fell in my house a couple of months ago, I have sprouted a defect which makes me suspect.

I really don’t want to talk about it.

It makes me feel weak.

It makes me too vulnerable.

But falling in my house and not being able to get up without assistance from the fire department was not only humiliating but left me feeling insipid and beholding.

The actual experience was inspirational.

But something can be totally inspirational and still leave you wishing and hoping that it never happens again.

For instance, I would love to be raised from the dead but would not welcome the circumstances to roll around again.

I’ve gotten strange over the past few days.

When I close my eyes, I don’t feel like I’m in my house. And because I’ve traveled so much, my mind is transporting me to other locations, and if there’s a television show in the background, I actually envision a completely different décor.

Oddest of all was a dream I had last night, where I envisioned myself into the living space of Justin and Angel, in China—where I’ve never been before. But I would have sworn I was there, living it up with them.

It would all seem rather bizarre if it weren’t for the imagination that exists in me as a writer—for I am constantly conjuring scenes in my mind to coincide with a story I’m hatching.

But I have to admit, this particular rendition is unusual—right down to the coloration of bed covers and the texture of vinyl shades.

If you hear of me passing on to the Great Beyond, you might mark in your mind that some of these things may not have been mere coincidence—but rather, a warning of a defect leaving me defective.

If, on the other hand, there doesn’t seem to be any lasting difficulty, you can state what you have often stated:

“Weird.”

Defecate

Defecate: (v) to void excrement from the bowels

It is rather embarrassing how often I am proud over defecating.

I think some explanation is in order.

But then again, what could be more pleasant than being relieved?

Having something growly and bouncy in your bowels that suddenly decides to evacuate, leaving behind a minimal amount of clean-up work, is certainly divinely inspired.

And even if the cleanup work is a bit excessive, it is not beyond the pale, and is well worth the effort.

There are times when the actual process is a bit grim, if not gruesome.

But still, all in all, the memory left behind is kind and filled with such contentment that you could never say there was any lasting dissatisfaction.

No, I will tell you that defecating rarely has to apologize. There are those rare occasions when it hangs around too long, becoming overwrought with diarrhea, when its presence might be considered annoying.

But damn, if that whole procedure doesn’t have its charm.

So here’s to defecation.

The process that grants us evidence of both its need and its beauty.

Defeat

Defeat: (n) an instance of loss; setback

A whole series of little words in a row. There’s no way you could know that.

I decided to take them all and place them under one banner.

There was “deface, defame, default.” And in there was “defund.”

All these words have contemporary applications and are being used to describe our dealings with national institutions.

  • Like the police department.
  • Racial relations.
  • And monuments as symbols of honor.

Let’s start with the monuments.

Perhaps it was a ragged idea in the first place–to build stone monuments to people representing ideas that might not seem as regal in another hundred years. Even though there were some noble intentions, the memories to such inhuman ideas need to decrease, not increase.

Then we have entrenched organizations, like the American police force, which are facing criticism verging on condemnation, because of the poor treatment some have given to areas of the human community.

In all cases, we are attempting to solve long-running struggles in one fell swoop.

This brings in many people with many opinions.

Can we hear them all?

Is it possible to find a consensus?

Or will one man’s honor necessarily be another man’s pain?

It is obvious to me that we can no longer attribute devotion to men and women who gave their lives in the service of holding others in bondage. Sometimes you need more than “meant well.” It actually has to end up well.

And some of these organizations are just getting their feet wet—and it wouldn’t behoove them to accept the responsibility of finding language which respects the life and times of other humans.

It is not easy.

It is also necessary that those who destroy property in the name of history be given a day in court, to clarify their actions.

We must now allow ourselves to proclaim what historically was racism to be patriotism. It is not.

And we must eradicate our tendency to rationalize evil actions.

In our hearts, we know this is the path to defeat.

De-escalate

De-escalate: (v) to decrease in intensity, magnitude, etc.

It is something I’ve always done.

I never gave it much thought.

To me it just made sense.

For you see, taking the first reaction of a human being who has been startled or hurt is not only unfair—it is not representative of who they are.

I do believe there is a childish portion in each one of us that wants to be offended so we can receive sympathy from those around us about being slighted.

But if you have just run into someone’s car and you’re informing them of that fact, and you expect them to give you a calm, measured response, you just might be evil.

Human beings should be given a chance to de-escalate from their initial response.

I don’t care what it is.

I don’t care if you think they should be more mature.

None of us are.

If we have a moment and realize how poorly we have handled our initial reaction, we often will mellow, apologize and gather our notions in a more thoughtful way.

But we need that time.

We need that mercy.

We need to understand that the first words that come out of somebody’s mouth when he or she feels offended are not conciliatory nor particularly kind.

They are bitter.

They are scolding words looking to heap damage.

It won’t hurt us to give our fellow human beings a chance to get over that initial pain—de-escalate and find a better reaction.

It does require that we have the maturity to know:

First reactions don’t count.

Each one of us deserves an opportunity to reflect and do better.

 

Deer

Deer: (n) a hoofed grazing animal with branched antlers that are shed annually

There is much to learn from the deer.

Much more than was acquired through the movie, “Bambi.”

When I was a young boy, seeing a deer was a surprise, a treasure and caused everyone to fall still and freeze—so as not to lose the pristine sight before them.

Deer just didn’t come around that much.

One of my teachers said this was because they were an endangered species and we needed to be careful not to kill them all off.

That made sense to me.

I think it made sense to a lot of people.

Because the deer population was encouraged, and deer season for hunting was shortened.

In no time at all, there were deer everywhere.

And I think the deer population was so grateful to be plentiful that it started showing up more often—even running into traffic, ruining cars.

The consensus that the deer was a beautiful treasure dissipated.

Matter of fact, some people considered them to be a nuisance and lobbied for a longer deer-hunting season, to thin the herd.

Of course, this was followed by people offering venison to eat, with all sorts of recipes proving that the meat was delicious.

The deer suffered a public relations problem.

Not only were they too plentiful, but they also were too delicious.

This is where the deer lives today.

Still quite available, but gradually learning that a personal appearance in front of human beings is an invitation to have your buck shot.

 

Deep

Deep: (adv) vast, profound or intense.

It was a brilliant piece of stagecraft.

Of course, at the time, nobody was fully aware of what stagecraft was, so certainly unacquainted with how to employ it.

But since it was a small room with limited beauty in its structure—and very few people were in attendance—turning all the lights off and hitting the center of the tiny stage with a spotlight granted an atmosphere to imagine any place in the world one might want to be.

They called them coffeehouses.

I suppose coffee was consumed but eventually, tea became the favorite, and somebody always brought along some sort of crunch or sweet to go along with the brew.

The goal was simple: to sit and listen to artists-in-training sing their songs, speak their verse or simply expound on thoughts while the audience remained silent, receptive and looking deep.

Yes—deep was a “look.”

It was a concentrated, fixed glance, eyes partially closed, suspended between focus and sleepiness.

We wanted something deep.

We wanted to be able to talk about it.

We wanted to seem deep, talking about deep things.

We were willing to come out to buildings which might need to be condemned, to sift through the illumination produced by the art around us and think about better ways to access untouched feelings, wishes and hopes.

As long as you didn’t take this “journey into the deep” for too long, it was delightful.

As long as you kept the lights low, it was possible.

And as long as there was someone up on the stage who knew four chords and a basic rhyming scheme, it was plausible.

Deem

Deem: (v) to form or have an opinion; judge; think

Probably a half-a-dozen meetings. Maybe flirtin’ with ten.

I’m talking about occasions where people gathered to discuss, mull over, muse and fester in their souls, considering what they deem appropriate.

It’s dangerous business.

The word “appropriate” should never be introduced into human relationships, for the minute we think we have found the borders, somebody will break down the fence.

And when you add the idea to “deem,” there is an arrogance that comes along with it which promotes the concept that one human being can decide for many.

I don’t care if I’m reading a history book, a cookbook or the Bible—someone has preceded me and made conclusions about what they decided to deem essential.

It’s not a question of whether they’re right or wrong. It’s an issue of if we can lasso the word “deem” and make sure it is not allowed to run amuck, horsing around with everything we do.

I don’t know what I deem appropriate.

I know what makes me uncomfortable. But that used to be calamari, and now I sop it up.

I’m fickle.

I can be convinced.

Actually, I’m capable of mercy.

And when you’re a “deemer,” mercy is not the question, but rather, propriety.

I guess you’d have to ask if God, the Almighty One Himself, deems.

Or is He a daddy, driving down the road in his SUV, allowing the kids to scream and play—just as long as they don’t hurt each other?

 

Deejay

Deejay: (n) short for disc jockey

I wrote and performed Christian music.

This created a problem. Most of the small-town thinkers in my hometown village did not believe I was a Christian. For you see, my wife and I had a baby born before the allotted nine months after our marriage.

We were also kind of dead-beats.

Because we wanted to pursue music, we had turned our backs on normal employment, had become unpredictable and, shall we say, risky as potential renters or borrowers.

My little burg did not like me—and I didn’t like it much, either.

All day long, and most of the week, I heard people telling me that either I wasn’t talented enough to make it in music, or if I was going to make it in music, God could find me “on my job” and set it all in motion.

I just didn’t believe that.

This brought about a situation where I had very few friends, so it was necessary that I nurture each and every one of them.

An unexpected buddy was a deejay named Jim. He was one of the more popular personalities at the local Christian radio station, which did amazingly good business considering that it was religious.

Jim liked me.

I don’t know why—I was afraid to ask him.

More importantly, Jim liked me even when other people were around who didn’t like me. Occasionally these people would speak up, voicing their opinions about me in front of him (and also in front of me).

Jim always listened carefully.

He gave them full respect and attention.

And when they concluded their little speech by saying that “I wasn’t going to amount to anything,” he patted them on the shoulder and replied, “Won’t you be surprised if that’s not the way it works out?”

Usually the person shook his or her head and stomped off, convinced of my ultimate destruction.

Then one day, it just happened.

It’s one of those things you don’t plan for. (You should prepare for it, but you don’t.)

One of the most famous groups in America decided to record a song of mine. They not only decided—they did. Suddenly, my tune was being played on radio, all over America.

Jim’s radio, too.

On top of that, the notoriety I received for signing the song with this group opened doors for me to get a contract with my group, to record an album in Nashville.

Jim was my hero.

Of course, other people suddenly discovered that they didn’t hate me.

But the amazing part of the whole story is that when Jim saw other folks coming to my side and supporting me, he kind of drifted to the rear.

I wanted to ask him about it, but then it occurred to me that perhaps this was just Jim’s calling.

He found the person that nobody liked and offered love, hoping that the unloved soul would get a chance.

Jim was and still is my favorite deejay.

He seems to have a gift to say the right words as he plays the good tunes.

 

Deed

Deed: (n) document executed under, especially of real estate.

Strange bugaboos crawl out of the natural events of our lives and haunt us for all time. They are difficult to describe and don’t seem to have any particular reason for existence.

But because our journey took us through a side street filled with trash cans and rats, we have this memory of sleaze.

It’s that way for me with the word “deed.”

Many years ago, my brothers discovered a deed to a property that my father had once owned. We thought he had sold it, but now it appeared that the papers were never actually signed.

Or maybe they were, and we just didn’t know where to find them.

It became the subject of conversation for months and months to come, as each of my siblings imagined how much money was possibly floating in the air from this deed, that could come and land on their lives and produce everlasting joy.

They were surprised at how unimpressed and uninvolved I was.

So sure was I that this mission was folly that I signed over my portion of the mystical magical amount, letting them know to leave me alone and to never use the word “deed” in my presence again.

I will honestly tell you that I do not know the end of this story. Eventually, each one of my “Grimm brothers” gave up the cause and never brought it up again, I assume out of fear of looking as if each of them had failed.

So my lesson in this essay is simple:

If you’re waiting for a deed to bring you happiness, you might find it more powerful to see if you can take your own deeds to do so.

Deduce

Deduce: (v) to derive as a conclusion from something known or assumed

“Don’t pee down my leg and tell me it’s raining.”

That was a very popular line which landed in several movies over the years.

The thought is fairly obvious: if you’re getting pissed on, it’s not rain.

It’s pretty easy to deduce that.

Matter of fact, being able to deduce things is not nearly as complicated as we make it out to be.

If a politician describes a plan which is nearly incomprehensible in its presentation, you can pretty well deduce how impossible it will probably be in application.

If a preacher spends more time discussing the offering he is about to take up than he does preaching the Gospel, it’s pretty easy to deduce that this man or woman is a charlatan.

If someone running for President spends most of their time cutting into the career and character of their opponent, you can probably deduce that they’re pretty much of a rascal themselves.

Deducing is the ability to know that more than likely something is true—and if you overstate it, you didn’t do it by much.

Of course, every human being born since Cain and Abel has complained about being judged, never considering that people are often including the history of their character in the determination.

Deducing leads to deductive reasoning, which very plainly consists of:

“If A equals B and B equals C, then A equals C.”

On those rare occasions when that would not be true, you can feel free to apologize for your slip-up.

But being able to deduce saves an awful lot of time, money and embarrassment in the midst of this journey we call life.