Tag Archives: apologize

De-escalate

De-escalate: (v) to decrease in intensity, magnitude, etc.

It is something I’ve always done.

I never gave it much thought.

To me it just made sense.

For you see, taking the first reaction of a human being who has been startled or hurt is not only unfair—it is not representative of who they are.

I do believe there is a childish portion in each one of us that wants to be offended so we can receive sympathy from those around us about being slighted.

But if you have just run into someone’s car and you’re informing them of that fact, and you expect them to give you a calm, measured response, you just might be evil.

Human beings should be given a chance to de-escalate from their initial response.

I don’t care what it is.

I don’t care if you think they should be more mature.

None of us are.

If we have a moment and realize how poorly we have handled our initial reaction, we often will mellow, apologize and gather our notions in a more thoughtful way.

But we need that time.

We need that mercy.

We need to understand that the first words that come out of somebody’s mouth when he or she feels offended are not conciliatory nor particularly kind.

They are bitter.

They are scolding words looking to heap damage.

It won’t hurt us to give our fellow human beings a chance to get over that initial pain—de-escalate and find a better reaction.

It does require that we have the maturity to know:

First reactions don’t count.

Each one of us deserves an opportunity to reflect and do better.

 

Decoder

Decode: (v) to translate data or a message from a code into the original language or form.

There actually was something called a “decoder ring.”

It was a little plastic ornament put into Cracker Jacks, for kids to place on a finger to make them believe they were decoding.

Candidly, I had no idea what “decoding” was.

But possessing the ring was still important.

As I become an adult (mainly confirmed by the number of my birthday parties), I realize that the whole Earth and everything around it and in it has a code. If you do not know how to decode it, you will begin to believe things at face value, or try to put faces on faceless values.

May I assist you with what I have garnered from having once owned a decoder ring?

Religion

When it comes to religion, if it doesn’t help people, make people better, make people think, make people feel or make people more generous, it is nothing but superstition or witchcraft.

Politics

In the realm of politics, if it doesn’t make people better, make them think, make them care for each other, improve their status and create equality, it is a really bad party, which will only make you drunk on your own ego.

Science

If you’re talking about science, there’s only one thing to remember: every living thing will do whatever is necessary to continue to be living. A second thing could be added: every mystery to continue living is hidden somewhere in the rocks.

Business

Customers are the little devils that make the business world work. Calling them little devils does not help. Treating them like little devils is even worse. Becoming a little devil to battle with them yourself could put you in jail.

And even though there are many subjects I could address, let me conclude with:

Romance

Romance ultimately is not about feelings, but instead, orgasms. To achieve orgasms, people have to cooperate with each other, which only makes the world a better place anyway.

I present this today just in case you did not get your decoder ring in your Cracker Jacks box.

If you did, I apologize for my presumption.

 

Creep

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Creep: (n) an obnoxious deviant

I have been called many things. Fortunately for my soul and psyche, most of them have been positive or relatively neutral.

Yet I certainly have had my share of profane labels attached to my doings.

But nothing—I repeat, absolutely nothing—came close to the day that beautiful Merrilee called me a creep.

It was many, many years ago, but I can still relive the moment, taste the adrenalin in my mouth, and feel my face flush with humiliation.

I was in one of those moods—trying to be clever with everything I said. Although dear Merrilee was extremely attractive, she did have some sort of cardiovascular situation—or maybe it was just a skin disorder—which caused her face and arms to turn red, leaving patches of white skin beneath.

On this particular day, apparently my candid and joking spirit had made her nervous, and she sprouted the symptoms, in ruby red. At that point, feeling I was on a role and drunk on my own wit, I said:

“Dear Merrilee, you look like a thermometer.”

Of course, it wasn’t terribly funny, but because she was a little strained and nervous, she burst into tears.

This caused everyone in the room to gyrate to her cause and move to her side, comforting her. If we’d been on a ship, it would have tipped in my disfavor.

Defensive, I began to explain that I was “just kidding,” and it was the first thing that came to my mind.

Amazingly, this did absolutely no good and just increased the welling of the tears.

One of the girls who was holding Merrilee very close spat at me, “You are such a creep!”

Before I could stop myself, I responded, “I’m not a creep! You’re a creep!”

Well, since I was the one who made little Merrilee cry, it was pretty obvious to everyone that I had won the “creep award.” At that point I finally got the sense to quickly apologize and leave.

I cried like a baby on the way home.

I felt so stupid.

But I have to tell you this—the chance that you will one day be a creep is pretty high. Whether you are an actual creep depends on whether you stay defiant—or if it sinks in, even many years later, what a creep you really were.

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Bemuse

Bemuse: (v) to puzzle, confuse, or bewilder someone.

Dictionary B

There are four reasons that can motivate what I do:

  1. Because God wants me to
  2. Because you want me to
  3. Because they want me to
  4. Because I want to

During every election season, I am bemused by the surrounding horde of candidates who are constantly trying to figure out what is going to be pleasing to the mass accumulation of voters.

Inevitably, because they’re trying to find what other folks want them to do, they end up stumbling over some piece of truth and speak it aloud, which they have to apologize for–insincerely.

If you want to remove bewilderment from your life–that sense of being bemused–discover one very interesting insight:

Try to fulfill at least two things off of the above list of four.

First, find out what you want to do, and then, ask yourself if it lines up with God, someone else or everybody.

It’s nice to have that confirmation. Granted, it’s not always possible.

But if you can have a buddy or divinity to back you up in the court of public opinion after you’ve spoken your desires, it does assist in helping you survive … the onslaught of nasty tweets.

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Awkward

Awkward: (adj) causing or feeling embarrassment or inconvenience.dictionary with letter A

I suppose I could take the popular position and insist that “I was born this way.” I would receive empathy and maybe even support from those who would agree with my assertion or share my dilemma.

I cannot remember a time in my life when I was not fat.

Yet I have to tell you that taking personal responsibility for it and realizing that even if my body has a predilection towards obesity, that I can discourage its wishes, is powerful.

The truth is, being fat is not only unhealthy, it’s a constant burden placed on your torso, lending itself to many an awkward situation.

  • As a child I ran and played but not without wheezing.
  • I wasn’t fast enough to get to first base on a hit called a single. For me to get to first base, I had to hit a double.
  • I’ve never been comfortable with my clothes off.
  • Generally speaking, I made sure that every place I was seated would be wide enough or hold my weight.
  • When rejected by a girl, I needed to question whether it was because of my blabber or my blubber.
  • Until I was twenty-five years old I never wore a pair of shorts in public. Much too awkward.
  • Until I was forty years old, I refused to get into a swimming pool until everybody around had turned their heads and were involved in some other activity.
  • And today, because I have led an active life, my knees are worn out, causing me to use a wheelchair to handle long distances.

It’s awkward.

I’ve never been able to sustain myself on my visuals only, but have had to rely on my emotions, spirit and mind to compensate for my body.

Now, before you go to weeping or preparing a lecture about my eating habits, let me tell you that I’ve already cried enough tears and pursued enough diets.

Now I try to eat as healthy as I possibly can, exercise to my capability and realize that awkward does not need to be a nasty situation.

Actually, awkward gives us enough vulnerability that people understand our humanity instead of resenting our perfection.

 

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Armed

dictionary with letter A

Armed: 1. (adj) equipped with or carrying a weapon or weapons.

I shot a gun seven times in my life.

Now, there’s an odd sentence.

What do I remember about the experience? I recall it as being fun.

I pointed a gun at a tin can and shot five times before I finally hit the thing. There was a real sense of satisfaction upon knocking over the former bean container.

I wanted to do it again.

If I really believed that being armed was a choice of recreation, I could completely comprehend the desire.

What I have trouble with is when people tell me they want to be armed so they can prepare to be dangerous.

After many years of dealing with human beings, I can tell you–we were never meant to be dangerous. Matter of fact, there is a real danger in us being dangerous, Why?

1. We are impetuous.

We do many things and are sorry later. It’s just hard to apologize for shooting someone.

2. We feel powerful about the wrong things.

The best gift we have is our ability to negotiate life and get along with others. Feeling the power of being armed sometimes makes us unwilling to be pliable.

3. We need good thoughts.

As long as we feel protected by a weapon, we will not use our better angels to fly in and solve our problems. And if we do, it may be in the back of our minds that we are still armed.

I know the classic saying is, “Guns don’t kill people; people kill people.”

I can’t argue with that.

But long before we actually kill one another, we can develop an attitude of intolerance because we feel endorsed by our weaponry.

  • It makes us nasty when we could be gentle.
  • It makes us pushy when we might achieve compromise.
  • And it makes us confident in implements of anger instead of instruments of peace.

 

 

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Aloud

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Aloud: (adv.) audibly, not silently

Seems like a simple enough word. But really, it may be at the center of true maturity and sanity.

When should we be silent? And when should we speak out–aloud?

There’s a standing joke in the human race: “Did I actually say that out loud?”

Especially with so many people finding themselves needing to apologize for things they have shared in a moment of candor, which they desperately regret as they are threatened with the loss of their occupation or reputation.

What should be aloud? What should be shouted from the housetop, whispered in the bedroom, or swallowed along with our pride?

Honestly, I’m working on that, and here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

1. If it’s the truth and it makes people stronger, go aloud.

You notice, I didn’t just say “the truth.” There are truths that the world is not ready to hear just yet.

2. If it pops into your mind and encourages someone, even if it seems silly, go aloud.

There is no such thing as a foolish sentiment. There is such a thing as regretting not sharing.

3. If it can be spoken aloud, challenged and you as a person can grow through the experience with new knowledge, then by all means do so.

But remember, when you go aloud, be prepared to be silenced by wisdom.

4. If it’s going to save somebody from disaster, take the chance and go aloud.

I do not think it’s polite to remain silent when someone’s about to fall off the cliff, just so you won’t startle their sensibility.

Yes, it’s an art form–when to be silent and when to go aloud.

But you can certainly be noisier if you have a spirit …  which can be quieted by reason.

 

Abutilon

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abutilon: (n.) a herbaceous plant or shrub of the mallow family, native to warm climates and typically bearing showy yellow, red, or mauve flowers.

Have you ever read anything and thought to yourself, “I didn’t get that? ”

So you read it again, and you come to the conclusion that you’re never going to get it.

I have absolutely no idea whatsoever what this plant–the Abutilon– would look like. I have to admit, I got a little stalled by “herbaceous.” I envision a kind of green, thistly thing growing out of the ground with very little purpose, considered by those who possess thumbs which are green, as a weed. But you see, often plants like that have only one survivable tactic–a single aspect that separates them from being a big, green, ugly stem: they sprout a flower.

I remember when I was a kid, I came running into the house with a whole bouquet of dandelions, freshly picked from our yard. My mother took them from my hands, threw them in the trash and said, “Those are weeds. We usually spray and kill them.”

I was devastated. To me they were pretty yellow flowers.

Do you ever wonder what makes us determine what is productive and what is cast aside? Are dandelions worthless because they grow in grass, which we want to be totally green, and they interrupt the spectrum by introducing yellow? And what is the nature of this plant–the Abutilon? I will never think about it EVER again. I KNOW I won’t.

But perhaps in an attempt to apologize for its herbaceous, bush-like nature, it sprouts a flower. That’s nice.

Maybe if everything that was a little bit ugly sprouted a flower, it would have a much better chance for acceptance.

Yet to be honest with you, I return to the fact that the entire definition for this particular plant baffled me from the onset and continues to leave me befuddled.