Biography of J.R. Practix

J.R. Practix is a graduate of the Hormel Community College, where he received the coveted Summa Cum Ham award for bringing home the bacon–excellence in academics.

He taught for one semester at the Mt. Olympus School for the Divinely Challenged before receiving a grant to research the little-known and nearly non-existent disease of largepox, wherein he hopes one day to provide a vaccination without demand.

He was married seven times in forty-one years and retired undefeated. He now lives near Columbus, Ohio, with his pet wolverine, Bo, where he raises buckeyes for profit and pleasure.