Con

Con: (n) the negative position

In evaluating the pros and cons of any situation, no one is ever yelled at for coming up with too many pros.

There is not some formal rebuke which proclaims, “You’re just being too positive!”

But if you come up with too many “cons”–reasons that something might not work, you could easily be decried “too negative.”funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

The question has to cross our minds: is it more dangerous to be too pro or too con? Trying to find the balance is impossible.

Basically, in life you have two positions:

Pursue with wisdom.

Or abstain with intelligence.

And to gain the wisdom and acquire the intelligence does mean that one has to be able to isolate the “cons”–the negatives–in any given situation.

Being too positive has caused tyrants to become dictators and murderers because no one wanted to believe that anyone could actually be that evil.

It has also caused parents to find themselves being interviewed on 24-hour news networks, attempting to explain why their teenage son walked into a school and killed as many innocents as possible.

After all, they just wanted to love their kid and be positive.

When the obvious signs of danger show their ugly faces, it is time to allow ourselves to be a wee bit negative. And those signs of danger are:

  • killing
  • stealing
  • destroying

Whenever this trio–or just one of them–shows up on the horizon, it is a good idea to pose the simple question, “Hold on a second! Now what in the hell is this all about?”

 

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Compos Mentis

Compos mentis: (adj) having full control of one’s mind; sane.

In an attempt to control the populace, the forces of manipulation withhold wisdom from the people so they can force them to wallow in ignorance–but also call them stupid if they get out of control.

It is a very sad but true situation that those who should have our best intentions at heart are often overcome by greed and the pursuit of funny wisdom on words that begin with a Cabsolute power.

So it falls the responsibility of those who are deemed incompetent and worthless to meter their own activities, and maintain their own compos mentis.

Here are some things to look out for:

  1. You are insane if you think you’re better than anyone else.
  2. Your compos mentis is in question if you pursue revenge.
  3. Insanity is quickly proven by the practice of gossip instead of honest dialogue between offended parties
  4. You’re totally insane if you think men and women are so different that they cannot share the same space, position and equality
  5. You have lost your compos mentis if you think more about heaven than you do Earth
  6. Insanity is truly in place if you contend that lying is sometimes necessary to avoid conflict
  7. You want to make more than you’re able to work for–truly insane.

Keep these seven things in mind as you move forward into the murky, sticky environment created by those who wish to slow things down in order to establish their will.

 

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Comply

Comply: (v) to act in accordance with a wish or command

There are two ideas that are dangerous.

  1. Drugs can be taken in moderation
  2. If it’s not my idea, I don’t like it as well.

Both of these assertions cause the human race to look like a barrel of monkeys placed in a dark warehouse, given five minutes to escape.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

We were never meant to be frantic. Self-centered and unaware are two of the better ways to come across shredded and dismembered.

For after all, someone who will drink one glass of wine will easily begin to drink three without knowing when he or she moved to two. Just the facts.

And if you insist on following only the ideas that crop up in your mind, this limited experience will leave you jealous of those who are willing to comply, taking on the wisdom of friends and neighbors.

I comply.

I cannot tell you that I’ve always been one who complied, but the more I realized that my willpower is nonexistent and my intelligence does have fences and boundaries, the sooner I got to partake of the joys of sobriety and the blessings of being linked with great notions.

 

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Compartment

Compartment: (n) a separate container

My life makes me giggle.

I have had enough spirituality to satisfy the Pope in Rome, enough emotion to make a twelve-year-old girl cry for hours, enough mental stimulus that I’ve fooled some people into thinking I was smart, and in my earlier years, enough exercise to play tennis at a standard that people didn’t laugh when they saw me on the court.

Mine is a blessed existence.

During one of those times of spiritual investigation, I discovered that a verse from the Good Book–where Jesus told his disciples that he was going to heaven tofunny wisdom on words that begin with a C “prepare a place for them,” and that in his Father’s house were “many mansions”–that the use of the word “mansion” did not really mean a huge house with multiple bathrooms and servants. Actually, there are those who feel that the closest translation would be the word “compartment.”

You see, that just makes me laugh.

God is so on point.

The idea that all of us human beings would be able to be anywhere together–even if we were in a glorified state–and have it resemble heaven, is nearly preposterous.

So I think God, in His infinite wisdom, is going to find a space for each one of us that just suits our fancy, while we simultaneously believe we’re interacting with everybody.

I don’t need a mansion–but I would favor a compartment decorated and suited to my personality and whim.

Of course, that’s working on the supposition that such an afterlife exists, and that if it does…some puny soul like me would ever be welcome.

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Communicate

Communicate: (v) to share or exchange information, news, or ideas.

Sometimes a gentle breeze of wisdom will blow my way and leave behind a noble idea.

It happened to me recently.

I was at a store, considering buying a product, when I looked down at the instructions on how to put it together. Please understand, I was very impressed with the item–but very put off by the length of the instructions. Matter of fact, I walked away from that particular situation and found something simpler.

Is it better? I don’t care. It’s simpler.

Now the breeze that blew across my brain, depositing a universal precept, was this:

We do ourselves a disservice as human beings when we come with too many instructions.

When people need to be aware that they “can’t do this” or “shouldn’t do that” or “the following subjects are taboo” or “never bring up the state of Hawaii”… Well, after hearing all the instructions and you realize what would be involved in putting together a relationship with this person, the wise choice is usually to move on down the road to less complicated possibilities.

For verily, verily, I say unto you, the most difficult thing in life to do is communicate.

We shouldn’t put ourselves in the position of needing to do it often. The less we have to communicate, and the more that is worked out my mercy, grace, compassion and understanding, the better off we are.

So here’s a word to the wise:

Work with your design until you don’t have a helluva lot of instructions, and ideally, it’s better to show up already put together.

 

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Colonel

Colonel: (n) an army officer of high rank

Many, many years ago, my younger brother decided to join the Army.

It was a split-second option that popped into his mind based on the fact that he discovered that he was out of money, his transmission was
going out and his prospects with females seemed dreary.

Of course, in his mind the logical thing was to join the military and bivouac himself with thousands of other confused young studly types.

I tried to talk him out of it. He insisted I was against the country and had no patriotism.

Now, I knew my little brother real well. For example, he was not only afraid of spiders, but once peed himself when the word was mentioned–no actual hairy-legged threat nearby.

So in my mind’s eye, the possibility of him becoming a killer infantryman or a marauding marine was not only implausible, but a threat to our nation.

He mocked me. He rejected my counsel. Off he went.

In forty-eight hours–nay, forty-six hours later–I received a phone call from Oklahoma. A desperate wisp of a voice gasping through the receiver, “Get me out of here!”

“Here,” of course, was basic training. And the reason they call it basic training is that you are going to train, and basically, that’s the end of the discussion.

The worst part was that he threatened suicide.

Now, I’ve always heard through the clumps of wisdom that come from the grapevine that you should take it seriously when someone threatens to do himself in.

So I got on the phone. I called the base.

I was connected with a colonel. I shall leave his actual name out of this essay due to respect for his service to the country, and also the fact that he was being harassed by an older brother who had no idea of protocol.

I shall therefore refer to him as “Colonel What the Hell Are You Talking About?” or “Colonel Please Don’t Call Me Again,” or my favorite–“Colonel We Are Going to Come and Arrest You.”

Apparently, by some rule of his job or position, it turned out that he had to take my calls. He was not permitted to dodge them. Therefore, we got to know each other real well. (He has a dachshund named “Scottie.” His wife likes tulips but doesn’t think the word fits them.)

After he interviewed my younger brother, who had huddled himself in one of the bathroom stalls in the barracks, he agreed with me that this young man had no business being in the Man’s Army whatsoever. Matter of fact, we agreed that he had no business being in the Women’s Army.

But the Colonel insisted that his “hands were tied.” I must have heard this phrase a thousand times.

I did not know when to stop. It seemed to me that the only time to cease and desist was when my little brother was back at home, trying to figure out how to borrow money for repair on his beat-up car.

For after all, he was a young, confused fellow whose main concern should have been his frequency of masturbation.

Suddenly something changed.

I don’t know what happened. I don’t believe it was anything I said, but “Colonel I’m Sick of This and Ready to Move On” started to work with me instead of against me.

Two weeks later, my brother was standing back at home, wearing his army greens, sitting around a table of fried chicken, trying to tell his “war stories.”

I took in a deep breath, smiled inwardly, looked over at him and thought to myself, “Thank God you’re home, you miserable little twerp.”

 

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Coherent

Coherent: (adj) a logical theory

A common weakness in those who take pen to paper (though there actually is no pen or paper anymore), who fancy themselves to be writers is the tendency to become exasperated with the reader when he or she pulls up mentally lame–incapable of grasping a deep point or drooling over a clever turn of words.

Actually, to become a good writer, you must “de-brat” yourself. In other words, have the brat removed without losing the childlike quality of simplifying human truth to concepts which are easily grasped. Therefore, don’t put too many steps in your process.

Yesterday I saw an article that advertised “31 Things to Do to Make Your Life Better.” I, for one, am overwhelmed with the notion of Baskin Robbins having thirty-one flavors, let alone remembering them in any sequential order.

Coherence also demands that we use understandable language instead of historical wording. Some words, phrases and ideas are dead. I don’t know if they will ever be resurrected, but presently they are stinking in a tomb.

Just don’t use them. Avoid getting angry with the populace because they’re unfamiliar with your jargon.

And being coherent certainly requires the grace to adjust your thinking when someone finds the flaw in your figuring. No matter how good you may think you are when putting together a respectable thesis, there will always be something you forget.

Rather than losing your cool over being challenged, warm yourself to the idea of learning from your mistakes.

Coherent is when smart meets flexible and they have a child called wisdom.

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