Consolidate

Consolidate: (v) to combine a number of things) into a single more effective or coherent whole

It would probably be very beneficial if the business world, religious community, entertainment industry and political marketplace learned the difference between consolidate and compromise.

Compromising is when two ideas collide and neither one has the power nor the backing to be heard by itself–so two of these concepts optfunny wisdom on words that begin with a C
for a third, which neither party is particularly pleased with, but they are convinced is the only way to achieve common ground.

Consolidate, on the other hand, is when one whole thing links up with another whole thing, both remaining intact, and because of the integrity of each, end up complementing one another.

Even though it is popular to insist that marriage is a compromise, unions of that sort, which try to come up with a third way to blend things, usually end up destroying their relationship.

Marriage should be a consolidation. Two whole people with two whole personalities link with one another and become doubly effective.

Two political parties, each with solid ideas, plug into one another. They remain whole, the ideas remain pure, the country benefits.

Two people of spiritual bearing come together, and rather than debating the finer points of religion, they consolidate their efforts over the principles that are most universal and therefore, bless the world.

Two businesses merge, maintaining the individuality of their products, in order to expand their market.

In the entertainment industry, rather than watering down a script until it loses all of its impact and sometimes story line, consolidate great ideas, and sew them together with the magical thread of words.

We are the United States.

We are not the compromised states.

All fifty units bring something to the table, and all fifty have an idea to share which is needed to make this melting pot remain well-mixed.

 

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Connotation

Connotation: (n) an idea a word invokes in addition to its primary meaning.

Love makes me think about kissing.

Maybe a little bit about the love of God. Both are rather pleasant.

Politics connotes younger folks arguing about subjects they just read about, pretending they’re experts. Unpleasant.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Religion conjures organ music in a dismal atmosphere. Recently it’s added the connotation of beheadings.

Prayer makes me sleepy.

Maybe that’s because I do most of my praying right before I go to sleep, or it’s just a great sleep-inducer.

Money brings a smile.

It’s not because I love money–it’s just that having it relieves one carnal infraction against our living. It also opens the door to being generous.

Family is a fairly decent word. But candidly, most of the grimaces and growls that may come our way are attached to those who share some of the D in our NA.

Life is not a series of definitions. It is an accumulation of feelings, which means we have the chance to take shitty words and crappy experiences, and reshape them by offering more enlightened endeavors.

 

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Confirmation

Confirmation: (n) the action of confirming something

Knowing that you’ve been perplexed and even perturbed by the uncertainty in our world, I offer to you the following confirmations:

  1. No one is better than anyone else. (You knew that when you were a little kid, but the adult journey has attacked your faith in the concept.)
  2. Men and women are equal, unless they act like boys and girls
  3. Arguing about religion is comical, since no one really knows one way or the other
  4. Since banks are reluctant to take a two-party check, we might want to check over our two party system
  5. Waiting for the end of the world prevents you from beginning.
  6. Losing weight is not the issue–trying to lose weight makes you healthier.
  7. No race has the best athletes. A race is just that–a sprint.
  8. There is no real substitute for cheese. Save up your calories.
  9. Laughing makes you child-like. Pouting makes you childish.
  10. If life isn’t easy, then work harder to make it easy.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

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Compulsion

Compulsion: (n) forced to do something through an irresistible urge

At one time I had a compulsion to be noticed. Now I like to notice.

I had a compulsion to be sexy. Now I’m extremely grateful if anyone is willing to have sex with me.

Also, there was a great compulsion in me to have money. Now I like to high-five myself when I find a clever way to use leftovers.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

I had a compulsion to be famous. Now it’s exciting to be well-thought-of.

I had a compulsion to yell at other people I felt were idiots daring to drive cars around me. Now I ignore my horn–we haven’t interacted for weeks.

I had a compulsion to be spiritual. Now I’m lavishing in the joy of being real.

I had a compulsion to see my children do well. I woke up and realized it’s their lives.

I had a compulsion to participate in politics. Now I pop some corn and watch it.

I had a compulsion to be thinner. Now I work on trying not to be fatter.

I had a compulsion to be healthy. Now I cross my fingers and thank God for His grace.

I had a compulsion to be compulsive. Now I’ve learned the victory, the peace of mind and the utter bliss of “taking no thought.”

 

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Complex

Complex: (n) consisting of many different and connected parts

America has a new favorite word.

It is “complex”

When we have no solutions, ideas or even desire to pursue quality, we like to declare the situation complex.

That means it will take a long time, many meetings and millions of dollars to study–and still there are no guarantees that a solution will be devised.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

It is an adult assertion that life itself is complicated, and therefore we prove our worth and intelligence by furrowing our brow, appearing bewildered and going into the process of deep scrutiny.

So when subjects like race, religion, politics, gender bias, sexuality or even the price of beefsteak come up in conversation, it is very important that all the people in the room agree that these matters are very complex, and therefore require oodles of time for discovery.

And God forgive you if you suggest that something might be simple.

Because even if it isn’t quickly solved–even if the contention that a matter is complex does play out–we are still much better people when we simplify.

 

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Commitment

Commitment: (n) the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.

Religion gets in the way of my faith.

Politics robs me of my freedom.

Budgets take the joy out of money.

Discussing morals makes me too weak to enjoy sin.

Every time a committee gets together and decides something, a little piece of me ends up dying.

So I have become a rebel with a cause. The cause is to maintain the integrity of my sanity. So here are my commitments:

  1. I will pursue good cheer all the days of my life to avoid being obnoxious.
  2. I will notice when people do good and blind myself to stupidity.
  3. I will create something every day.
  4. I will appreciate the efforts of others, and linger for a moment to celebrate with them.
  5. I will stop talking about God and try to impersonate Him.
  6. I will continue to think of life as a comedy club instead of a prison.
  7. I will not put anything in my body that struggles to come out.
  8. I will laugh more than I cry, and all my crying shall end in laughter.
  9. I will avoid becoming adult because only children can truly lead us.
  10. I will honor these commitments and commit myself to pursuing not to be committed.

 

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Commie

Commie:(n) a communist

Growing up, there were three great insults we used repeatedly to decimate the character of those around us, while greatly inflating our own sense of self-importance: retard, gay and Commie

Although they were often used interchangeably for all seasons and all reasons, there were specific times when “retard” was applied. Whenever anyone did anything that inconvenienced us he or she was a retard.

When anyone did anything the least bit unusual, and we were afraid they would ask us to do it, too, they were gay.

And when our parents told us that certain children had mothers and fathers who were questionable in their politics–well, those kids were Commies.

You could probably survive being a retard, as long as you didn’t get too upset.

You could flee from being gay.

But once you were identified as a Commie–an enemy of the state–a Ruskie–a member of the Soviet Union–a sympathizer with killers–well, it was just a little hard to shake that off.

I remember once when two friends and I refused to listen to a girl who came to school wearing jeans and a t-shirt (which was unheard of at the time) and spouted opinions on such things as ecology, civil rights, and even, God forbid, anti-war. She was especially upset with the war in Viet Nam.

In our freshman year, we had one view of this girl–but by the time we were seniors, the national opinion on civil rights had changed, ecology had been honored by the creation of Earth Day, and because of the Pentagon Papers, the Viet Nam War had been exposed as an unnecessary exercise in futility.

We were uncomfortable about it. The Commie had been proven correct.

So to compensate, we just started calling her gay.

 

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