Betrothed: (n) the person to whom one is engaged.
The pride that we have over our sophistication is not only comical but often ill-placed.
We have the most intricate system for pairing people into committed relationships that has ever been devised in the history of bipeds with brains.
Yet we also have the highest divorce rate.
So do we question this system of placing the entire experience of choosing a mate based on the level of our interest and financial security?
No. We continue to chase down love haphazardly.
Simultaneously, cultures which pair off individuals in pre-arranged marriages don’t fare any worse than we do. Do you know why?
It’s because marriage has nothing to do with love.
Hell, if we’re going to make this planet work, we all have to learn to love one another. (But that doesn’t mean you’ll exchange body fluids with the population as a whole.)
Marriage requires three unique impositions:
1. “I’m not going anywhere.”
If you believe that separation and divorce are options in your relationship, you will eventually pursue one of them. There is a power in thinking that we possess the intelligence to solve our problems.
2. “I am not satisfied with myself.”
Although it is very popular to be self-satisfied, trying to sell this to another person who sees you every day is ridiculous.
- I need someone to help me overcome my demons.
- I need a friend who will see those demons and not run away in terror.
- And I need a cohort who will not be too judgmental when I invite my demons back in for a one-night stand.
3. Be prepared to laugh all the time.
Most arguments begin because we decide to defend or discuss stupidity instead of laughing at it.
Humor is what makes sex excellent. Since it is such a silly little practice, which is accomplished just as well among the monkeys, we dare not view it as serious or overly spiritual, or we become notoriously foolish.
I don’t care whether you date for fourteen years or if you met each other fourteen minutes ago.
“I’m not going anywhere, I’m not satisfied with myself and I’m prepared to laugh” is what makes betrothal be-workable.