Countdown

Countdown: (n) backward counting

At one time—I believe it was September 17th, 1988—it was contended that the world was supposed to end.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Then there was the rumor, based on the Mayan Calendar, that time would cease on 12/12/2012.

Yesterday, while watching TV, I was informed by a young scholar that the Earth has thirteen years left before it turns on us and exterminates all humanity.

No matter how much we try to turn the conversation to possibilities, joy and the general good cheer of common labor, there are just too many people determined to participate in a countdown to destruction.

Religious people think Jesus is going to come back to judge the quick and the dead, establishing his kingdom on Earth.

Environmentalists proclaim that the oceans will rise, and the weather will become so unpredictable that finding a place to dwell in the dwindling landscape will turn us all into barbarians.

Other people have financial countdowns.

But for some reason we seem determined to destroy our home—or at least talk about its doom in great detail.

It’s why a great man once said that the end of the world is known only to God, and Him alone. God doesn’t get drunk and share it with someone else. It really is on the downlow.

Because as nasty as we can be, thinking we have many more years to live, we all could become insanely possessed with our own survival if we literally had a clock ticking toward oblivion.


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Council

Council: (n) a body of persons specially designated to act in an advisory or legislative capacity

Sarah was voted to be a member of the council. She felt honored, even though it was a rather quick process. She was nominated, seconded and voted in before she had much of a chance to either object or assent.

On the way home from the meeting, she asked herself, “I wonder why they wanted me on the council?”funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Sarah had to admit that she was sometimes guilty of over-thinking, but found that to be more virtuous than underthinking, or worse, being thoughtless.

Sarah decided there were only three possibilities why she was selected to be on the council:

  1. No one else really wanted to do it and they thought she might agree to be the pigeon.
  2. She would go to the council meetings, not make waves, not embarrass anybody from the hometown and just vote with the blowing of the wind.
  3. Or they might have thought that Sarah was an aggressive go-getter who would represent their causes and sentiments well, and argue, if necessary, to see change.

As Sarah drove home, she giggled. She realized that’s why very little gets done in business, religion or politics. The people who are voted onto councils, gathered for a congress or placed in the boardroom either were not quick enough to escape, so timid that it was assumed they wouldn’t mess with anything, or hot-heads that the community at large wanted to chase away—so they sent them in a new direction.


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Correct

Correct: (adj) conforming to fact or truth; free from error; accurate

“Correct” is the favored word for those who wish to appear righteous but are really working a hidden agenda or stoking a deception. For “correct” does not need to be accurate and of course, accurate can fall short of truthful while still maintaining a claim to accuracy.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

We play this game in religion, entertainment, business and politics every single day.

We, as the consumer, as the public, are offered a few correct statements which fail to address some accurate observations. Since the accurate observations are hidden from us, we will never know the truth.

This is why we sit here today, arguing over a report that was commissioned by our own government, and now is being obfuscated by the same. It’s easier to read the report and find correct statements that jive with a needful political conclusion. We might even want to offer some accurate insights to make it seem that transparency was nearly achieved.

But the truth is a very hard business to open up on Main Street America.

The truth is often feared—and the truth, which is the only thing that can free us of the lying that paralyzes our progress, is hidden away and reserved for those who know it but are damned because they squelch it.

Simply because something is correct does not make it accurate. Accuracy can offer contradictions. Yet it is only when we have studied all of the accurate ideas that we might be prepared to draw some conclusions about truth.

But wise men know that we are not on a search for the correct, the accurate or even truth itself.

No—we are in pursuit of uncovering our own hypocrisy, which clears our eyes, to be willing to honestly see.


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Convey

Convey: (v) to communicate; impart; make known

I believe in God but sometimes I wish I didn’t.

God has some of the shittiest front people you’ll ever meet. They are unkind, self-involved, pious, ignorant of history and single-minded in a way that makes them appear to be brainless.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

The truth of the matter is, if you lock a child up in the basement, he or she will begin to believe the whole world is a basement.

There will be no attempt on the child’s part to expand his or her vision to conjure a world of pleasantries and peace. The church has imprisoned its members in the catacombs of ignorance. So…

How can I convey the love of God without being associated with the hatefulness of God?

How can I convey the mercy of God without coming across as an airhead who doesn’t really care that there are standards in life?

How can I convey that Jesus has been abducted by religion and is being held hostage for your tithe?

Sometimes I want to throw my hands up in the air—and not as symbol of praise, but rather, desperation.


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Contrivance

Contrivance: (n) a plan or scheme; expedient

 It happens every day.

I have an idea how things should work, how they should unfold, and the results do not conform to my plan.

My instinct? Ignore the information that’s been provided, push past the obvious defeat and persevere with my thinking, adding some last-minute changes, funny wisdom on words that begin with a Cwhile insisting that no evolution is necessary.

I am determined to be right, even when I’m wrong.

Therefore, I’m often wrong, even when I’m right.

I possess the ability to learn but I suppress it because I’m afraid that being a learner will make me appear to be a student instead of a teacher.

Presently, I’m a master of contrivance, attempting to learn to be a master of service.

Life on Earth is not really difficult—you try something and it either works or it doesn’t. Pain only arrives if you insist on continuing to do what doesn’t work instead of changing in the direction where Mother Nature, Father God and fellow humans are headed.

Our religion is a contrivance because it withholds mercy, clinging to the law.

Our government is a contrivance because it is in need of refreshing.

Our relationships with our fellow human beings are a contrivance because we insist on how different we are instead of acknowledging that we are one people.

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Constrain

Constrain: (v) to compel or force someone toward a particular course of action

I stopped being political many years ago when folks pushed me to join a party. They constrained me.

I ceased being religious when I realized that I couldn’t just love my neighbor as myself, but needed to sit my butt down for an hour-long funny wisdom on words that begin with a Cservice of boredom, which I was supposed to pay for in the offering plate. They constrained me to be a church attendee.

I refused to be super-macho in order to prove to all the men and women in the world that I was worthy of consideration, though the constraint to do so was extraordinarily intense.

My thought has always been, if a candidate isn’t worthy to hold office, advertising him or her as one of your party does not increase his or her value.

Likewise, if God needs my money instead of my heart, then maybe He should go out and get a job.

And if hair on your head, hair on your face and hair on your balls is the symbol of manhood, then I would prefer to languish in the animal kingdom.

When anyone tries to constrain you to do something, using intimidation or threatening that if you don’t, you won’t belong, you won’t be saved or you won’t “get the chicks,” then you should smile and say, “No, thanks. See ya’ later. I have an appointment to talk with myself.”

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Mr. Kringle's Tales...26 Stories 'Til Christmas

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Constituency

Constituency: (n) a body of voters in a specified area who elect a representative to a legislative body.

Human beings are selfish.

Get over it.

Stop lamenting it.

Cease to selfishly object to the selfishness of others.

Once you come to the conclusion that human beings are selfish and it’s part of our DNA, then you can begin to use this selfishness for good instead of having it deteriorate into a bunch of callous, crude, rude and bigoted actions.

Politicians believe they have constituency–a group of people who believe in them and are at least willing to go to the voting booth to prove it. I see nothing funny wisdom on words that begin with a Cwrong with this as long as we don’t take the darker portions of the human race and play them up simply for the right to have a parking space on Capitol Hill.

The mission is about discovering how to take our selfishness and turn it into something positive for our own lives, and then, overjoyed to step away, we try to help other people have the same opportunity in their lives.

You can take every bible in the world, every religion, every class on etiquette, every political maneuver and every lecture from your parents and set them aside if they don’t take into consideration the selfishness with which each one of us is imbued.

The journey is about how we can turn our selfishness into mercy, gentleness and kindness because we’re so joyously goddamn happy.

 

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Mr. Kringle's Tales...26 Stories 'Til Christmas

(click the elephant to see what he’s reading!)


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