Burger

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Burger: (n) short for hamburger

Everybody’s looking for good.

But somewhere on that journey, a conflict arises between the idea of what is good and what tastes good.

Trying to apply angelic mannerisms to the human being is not only a fruitless task, but might fall into the definition of cruel and unusual punishment.

We are people. We are always looking for new ways to pleasure ourselves.

Even though our poets and theologians may suggest a different path, we smile at them as we quickly pass by on our way to pick up another deliciously greasy hamburger. Sometimes we’re willing to make it a turkey burger, but we’re never willing to make it a non-burger.

I think you have to consider where money is best spent. You could put your finance into training human beings into eating five servings of vegetables a day with very few carbs and little meat. But might it be better to accept the fact that we are burger-addicted, and work on a sandwich that tastes great and has few to no calories, so as to appease the need for flavor while still making us look good?

Let’s refer to it as the “Viagra of nutrition.”

If we swallow this pill or eat this particular burger, it will satisfy our need to be naughty without destroying our cardiovascular system.

Doesn’t that seem like a good expenditure of resource?

After all, have attempts at self-discipline in the human family ever done anything but create tension, self-doubt and furious outbursts of rage?

Burgers are not going away. Actually, we are finding that people go away before burgers do. So since they aren’t going away, why don’t we work on making them less harmful?

And while we’re at it, do the same thing with politics, religion and guns.

 

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Bureaucracy

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Bureaucracy: (n) a state in which a few decide for the many

I find it extremely audacious and perhaps even pretentious to believe that I have any idea what’s best for me.

I may rail and scream, demanding the right to make poor decisions for my own life, but in my saner moments, free from vanity, I’m completely aware that I am inept at planning my own peace.

And it becomes nefarious to think that I, as a mere mortal, would have any goddamned idea what would be best for you. Yet for some reason, like early Spanish explorers who apparently believed that the world was created for them to pillage, when we get finished screwing up our lives, we feel mission-driven to spread that message of disarray into the affairs of others.

That is bureaucracy: malcontents determined to make other people just as miserable as they are–whether they do it in politics, by passing numbskull laws which are ill-suited to solve the aching need; or in religion, where they preach a God of love who is more picky than your Aunt Myrtle.

Bureaucracy is where we discover we are impotent… but decide to hide it under seven pairs of pants.

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Bunkum

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Bunkum: (n) nonsense

I love this word!

Matter of fact, I shall use it all day. It has already caused me to say “shall” instead of “will.”

It is so English–like a butler rejecting a delivery of peat moss because it’s unsuitable for the household flowers.

“Bunkum.”

And believe you me, I will find many opportunities to put the word into practice, considering that I habitually listen to the news. So every time I hear a report, rather than lowering myself to the common lingo of “alternative facts” or “counter theories,” I will simply declare it “bunkum.”

  • Our present health system: bunkum.

(Join in if you feel so led)

  • Leaving people hanging without recourse concerning their immigration status: bunkum.
  • Threatening old people that they might have a little less on a check that is already too less: bunkum.
  • Shooting missiles and discussing an acceptable number of civilian casualties: bunkum.
  • Having grown men and women who are more concerned about Parliamentary procedure than the power of just proceeding: bunkum.
  • Having religion as stale as four-day-old chocolate chip cookie and entertainment which tries to make comic book characters full of pathos: bunkum.

Please pardon me. I could go on and on, but then you would eventually look down at the long page of bunkum and probably think to yourself, “A-h-h-h…bunkum.

 

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Bundle

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Bundle: (n) a collection of things, or a quantity of material, tied or wrapped up together.

I only lasted one day on the job. I got confused on what to do, so ended up quitting.

It was a lumber company.

Since I was the newbie, the manager asked me to go out back and find pieces of scrap wood which were about the same length, and bundle them together, tie them off and place them in a pile near the wood shop.

I understood the assignment–at least, I thought I did. But when he returned and I was ready for praise, he immediately began to un-bundle my pieces of wood, explaining that I had put pine in with oak and press board with walnut.

I bungled my bundling.

He had another rule–one which he understood and I didn’t, because after all, it was my first day. He was a little disgusted that I couldn’t tell the difference by texture and color. I thought the only distinction was supposed to be length.

I was wrong.

Truthfully, I run across the same problem every day as I am instructed by society to bundle up people into groups. At first, I thought the only way I was supposed to set them apart was, “These are the nice ones that can be treated nicely and respond well, and these are the meaner ones which require being treated even nicer.”

But they keep changing the rules.

They’ve introduced culture, color, sexual preference, gender, age, political persuasion and religion.

So there’s never really any way to get things bundled. There are too many considerations to adequately discern what should go together and what should be separated.

Bundling is the way we try to put things that are similar into one unit.

But of course, if we don’t accept the fact that similarity is possible, we will just end up being scattered wood.

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Bullshit

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Bullshit: (n) stupid or untrue talk

Not everything is bullshit.

Matter of fact, one great step toward maturity is realizing that many of the things we believe today will change in the future, and maybe even disappear.

After all, ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but rather, the refusal to accept it.

All of us are ignorant in the sense that there are things we don’t know, but we will not be deemed ignorant in the future if we’re willing to step away from piles of bullshit and find the truth that has been proven.

Whether it’s our politics, our education, our profession or our faith, each one should be able to endure the evolution of new data, which further clarifies life on Planet Earth.

If your beliefs or your convictions need to ridicule an educated revelation, you are no longer a follower of truth, but a shoveler of bullshit.

Each one of us needs to acknowledge this, or we become either dangerous or obnoxious, or an annoying blending of the pair.

Many good folk in 1491, who were well-schooled and religious, were convinced that the world was flat. Several years later, when it was proven to be round, the truly intelligent rolled with the punches and realized that science was not destroyed by the revelation, nor was God shrunk.

The ones who continued to contend that the Earth was shaped like a cracker had to promote their bullshit ad nauseam.

How can you tell if you’ve become a bullshitter?

There is a tiny little bell that rings in the human soul when we hear something that resounds with the truth.

Stop muffling the bell.

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Buddhism

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Buddhism: (n) a religion, originated in India by Buddha

Everybody’s got a different idea on the subject.

Some people think religion is like comparing various incarnations of cola. In other words, a handful of people Dictionary Bknow the difference–but most folks would just say “it’s a Coke.”

Continuing in the food theme, there are those who differentiate religions as bread, milk, meat and fruit. But I think all that’s ridiculous.

I think the most intelligent thing to do in assessing religion is to take a moment of your time to figure out what really works with humans on Planet Earth.

There are three things:

  1. People are people and they aren’t going to stop being people.
  2. We all care about ourselves.
  3. So it’s essential to find a way to care about yourself without ignoring everybody else.

This trio of ideas is immutable. It never goes away.

So a Jewish religion which believes that those who have trimmed penises are the “chosen people” might find themselves struggling in the social arena with that assertion.

Likewise, the Muslims, who feel it is their job to take over the world and insert Muslim principles into the heart of every human being, will probably suffer the slings and arrows of those who love a good barbecue pork sandwich.

And in the case of Buddha and his world-renowned Buddhism, trying to convince people that ignoring their desires and emotions is the path to Nirvana, seems to me to be futile.

Christianity, on the other hand, which has decided to bunk with Judaism, fails to deliver the best tenets of its organization as put forth by Jesus, who thoroughly confirmed our three steps by saying that once you find out how you love yourself, just apply that same measure to others.

There is an old saying, which translated, reads, “The only pure religion that is undefiled is to take care of women and children who don’t have resources and to keep yourself from being overthrown by worldly affairs.”

Buddhism suffers from too much introspection in a world which demands we consider seven billion options.

 

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Bubble

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Bubble: (n) used to refer to a fortunate situation that is isolated from reality or unlikely to last.

When my parents told me there was no Santa Claus, the revelation that the rumor had been greatly exaggerated did not totally deflate my young, eleven-year-old soul.

It’s not because I thought it was alright for them to mislead me, and it wasn’t because I found the Nordic purveyor of toys to be Dictionary Bpersonally distasteful.

It’s that nothing really changed.

I was getting toys–and I continued to get toys. The fact that they weren’t coming from the North Pole was somewhat insignificant.

Even if I wanted to be huffy about the “fake news” concerning Mr. Claus, it was difficult for me to make a major case, considering the fact that I still had the presents.

But when I was told that the government of the United States was “for the people, by the people and of the people,” and as an adult I discovered there is much misrepresentation to that assertion–well, it’s a different “checks and balances.”

It will also be much more disappointing if I find out that God was a Holy-Land-Hoax.

In both cases, I can’t live in a bubble or isolate myself and pretend I don’t know.

Because with no government or God, the toys quickly disappear.

The absence of a good government opens the door to all sorts of graft, corruption and scandal.

Likewise, to be minus a deity is a guarantee that my eternal home will be grave circumstances, with my dreams turning to dust.

This is serious stuff, folks.

I can live without Santa Claus.

I cannot prosper if our government is dishonest or if the two-party system is a one-lane road to dissension.

And I certainly don’t want to spend my Earthly life revering a supernatural being who ends up merely the figment of the imagination of Bedouin nomads.

Help.

What can I do to make sure that my leaders–Republican and Democrat–honor the premise of liberty?

And who should I have been if God ends up taking the Santa Claus nose dive?

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