Confrontation

Confrontation: (n) a hostile or argumentative meeting or situation between opposing parties

Sometimes I think Mr. Webster’s had a bad day.

Yet I guess those who put together the dictionary try to reflect the mood of the society in which we live. Somewhere along the line we’ve begun to believe that “I don’t agree with you, I don’t appreciate that, I don’t understand,” and “I hate you” all mean the same thing.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

They don’t.

Each one signifies a different human emotion. Therefore, each one has to be handled at the level of confrontation it presents.

Let’s start with Number 1.

  1. “I don’t agree with you. “

Honestly, this is a confrontation. It may limit immediate harmony but it is not without the potential for conversation, compromise and resolution. Matter of fact, we might consider it essential to the climate of a democracy.

  1. “I don’t appreciate that.”

This is a different level of confrontation. It is objecting to how something was handled. It is not terminal to a relationship–it merely sets a timeclock for interaction, sensitivity and reconciliation.

  1. “I don’t understand.”

Also a form of confrontation. This states clearly that what was stated is not clear. It is asking for additional information. It is not a personal attack, nor is it a judgment of the original idea. Clarification.

  1. “I hate you.”

This is what Mr. Webster envisioned when offering his definition. But “I hate you” has little to do with a desire to create an exchange of ideas and a communion of souls. It is a giant leap into the fiery pit of hell where all hatred dwells.

I believe in confrontation.

Without it, we live in a world of insincerity, in which gossip becomes the only way we express our true feelings.

 

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Compos Mentis

Compos mentis: (adj) having full control of one’s mind; sane.

In an attempt to control the populace, the forces of manipulation withhold wisdom from the people so they can force them to wallow in ignorance–but also call them stupid if they get out of control.

It is a very sad but true situation that those who should have our best intentions at heart are often overcome by greed and the pursuit of funny wisdom on words that begin with a Cabsolute power.

So it falls the responsibility of those who are deemed incompetent and worthless to meter their own activities, and maintain their own compos mentis.

Here are some things to look out for:

  1. You are insane if you think you’re better than anyone else.
  2. Your compos mentis is in question if you pursue revenge.
  3. Insanity is quickly proven by the practice of gossip instead of honest dialogue between offended parties
  4. You’re totally insane if you think men and women are so different that they cannot share the same space, position and equality
  5. You have lost your compos mentis if you think more about heaven than you do Earth
  6. Insanity is truly in place if you contend that lying is sometimes necessary to avoid conflict
  7. You want to make more than you’re able to work for–truly insane.

Keep these seven things in mind as you move forward into the murky, sticky environment created by those who wish to slow things down in order to establish their will.

 

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Characteristic

Characteristic: (adj) typical of a particular person, place, or thing.

You have to be pretty bad to not want to be a good person.

Most people prefer angel wings to devil claws. We may view ourselves as being dangerous–until we realize we really like to play it safe.

What’s missing is the listing of the characteristics required to put a “good” in front of your “person”–making you priceless to the human tribe.

I’m sure everybody could derive a list, and each lineup would have its own merit, but may I offer mine?

Let’s call it the top five things that make our race tolerable instead of insufferable:

  1. Humility

Of course, you don’t get to be humble until you do something great, but once you have an accomplishment, the quality of the endeavor should be enough without demanding too much laud from others or indulging in self-worship.

  1. Self-correction

The best way to be annoying to other friends in your circle is to be the last one to realize you have a problem. Of course, there’s a danger with incriminating yourself too much, but most of us will never get near that cliff.

If you can see your shortcomings, you don’t have to go through the pain of being alienated because of them.

  1. Change

Stop being part of the unrealistic horde which insists that “change is too hard.”

Everything has come through evolution, so it is safe to assume that the process is continuing right now, in your life.

So change before you are forced to, or before you’re lying flat on your back because the cosmic steamroller just flattened your dreams.

  1. Don’t judge under any circumstances.

Even if it’s late at night, you’re with a friend and you’re in the mood to gossip–don’t. Go to bed and get some sleep.

You and I never have the right to evaluate the lives of other people. Even if an angel comes and whispers in your ear, telling you of the iniquity of another traveler, you should compliment the angel on its wings, but ignore the message.

  1. Good cheer.

There are times that depression and sadness overtake us all–but as much as is within us, we should allow the paint brush of gratitude to be the artist of our portrait. It makes us viable–and more than that, it makes us reliable.

There you go. One man’s limited scope in describing the characteristics of a good person.

In my opinion, all you have to do to become a bad person is look at the list and insist “it’s a free country, and nobody’s business but your own.”

 

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Busybody

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Busybody: (n) a meddling or prying person.

There is a danger in turning vice, immorality or even sin into charactures so as to escape any referrence to these pieces of nastiness being associated with our actions. So we tend to make sexual immorality broad-stroked–as prostitues, whores and gigolos–and lying as gangsters or Congressmen.

But when am I immoral? When am I a liar?

I’m immoral when I don’t follow the morality that is healthy for humans and I’m a liar when I don’t tell the truth.

God, I don’t like that definition.

I do not like being lumped in with the more decrepit and deceitful members of the human race. It’s much easier for me to believe that a busybody is an old woman sitting around her house frowning at all the joy of the young people around her, secretly jealous because they continue to be optimistic, and she is now old, dried-out and bitter.

I wouldn’t want to think that my personal jealousies, which cause me to throw a little bit of a negative comment about other people, to diminish their character, would have anything to do with being a busybody.

Certainly the member of a political party who sideswipes a person from an opposing political party is not a busybody. Right?

Refusing to understand the changing trends in society and insisting on trying to preserve the old ways doesn’t make me a busybody–even if I tend to criticize those who disagree with me.

A busybody is someone who’s old. And as long as I don’t think I’m old, I couldn’t be a busybody.

Actually, the name is rather ironic–because those who gossip,. refuse to change, are inflexible, judgmental or selfish tend to have very lazy bodies.

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Brother

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Brother: (n) a man or boy in relation to other sons and daughters of his parents.

I had four brothers who shared a common uterus with me. Not at the same time; we had different leasing arrangements.Dictionary B

I will tell you that those four individuals have importance in my life because we lived in a common household. But they are not closer to me than other folks who have stumbled across my path.

I believe we could have been great kinfolk–more intimate. But it is really the mother and father who decide how tight the bond will be among the children.

For instance, it is possible to accidentally pit your offspring against each other. Too much competition in a house creates enemies instead of fellow-laborers. And of course, favoritism makes one child work too hard and another one skate on thin ice.

Two of my brothers have already passed on. The oldest one never totally understood me and we never came to peace with each other. The second ghost and I had a violent relationship, which simmered into a warm broth, which we were able to enjoy.

And my other two brothers–well, we bounce between contact and alienation.

Now, it was my joy to be the father of three sons and three other young men that I “godfathered” to adulthood.

I must have done something right, because they don’t hate each other. Or maybe they just decided to ignore my attempts to generate boundaries and chasms, and worked on finding common ground.

I don’t know which one it is–but I will give you the definition for brother:

It is not someone of your own household who shares a mom with you.

It is not a male Christian counterpart who communes with you at an altar.

A brother is, and always will be, someone who refuses to believe the gossip he hears about you, but instead, comes to you directly…to get the real story.

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Boycott

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Boycott: (v) to withdraw from commercial or social relations

“Don’t make waves.”

I heard this all the time as a young person. Since I was raised in land-locked Ohio, it was very simple to comply.

It was also made easier by the fact that anyone who stepped beyond the boundaries of acceptability was quickly ostracized from the general flow. Yet issues always arrived which demanded immediate attention, consideration, deliberation and action.

Sometimes we must boycott stupidity. Otherwise, it grows faster than weeds.Dictionary B

Growing up in my town, prejudice was accepted, gossip was honored, chauvinism was the household norm and music was deemed raucous and evil until it gained a great respectability through financial solvency.

I had to make decisions:

What did I think about civil rights?

What did I think about the war in Viet Nam?

What did I think about the notion that “a woman’s place was in the home?”

These were dangerous questions. If they were posed in public, you were viewed as a troublemaker. If you offered an opinion other than the standard fare, you were basically dubbed “anti-American.”

It took me many years to learn how to boycott the inhibiting doctrines and platitudes which permeated my little town.

Today it’s easier for me. Matter of fact, I can suggest several things we should boycott immediately:

  • The word “bitch”
  • “Baby Mama”
  • Disinformation
  • Racial stubbornness
  • Too much violence
  • Chauvinism in all its forms
  • Gender wars
  • Talk of “culture”

For after all, culture is just another way to introduce stereotypes, which invite prejudice.

I wish I had been more brave when I was a “Buckeye Boy.”

But I guess I can do my penance … by learning what to boycott around me today.

 

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Backbiting

Backbiting: (n) malicious talk about someone who is not present.Dictionary B

“Gnashing of teeth.”

It is one of those phrases from the Good Book, referring to people who get so angry that they would just like to bite somebody.

So to make sure that we don’t come across like wild wolves, we have come up with more civilized ways to gnash on people, without extracting blood.

But here’s the fact: nobody is willing to admit that they gossip.

So how can you tell if you have fallen into the nasty tendency to become an emotional vampire?

  1. If you’re discussing with another person and the person you’re discussing walks into the room and you tell your friend to “hush up” so you can get back to it later.
  2. If you have to preface what you say with, “I don’t mean this in a bad way…”
  3. If you finish 20 minutes of railing against someone and then decide to close it with prayer.
  4. If you make sure that you attack weaker people so that they have no power to strike back against you.
  5. If you use Biblical or psychological terminology to reinforce your theory of someone else’s perversion.
  6. If you make any kind of pact of silence in order to ensure that your victim is not aware of your true feelings.
  7. If you feel a little greasy and stinky when somebody preaches against gossip.

Gossip is the true sign of insecurity:

It’s projecting onto others our failures.

It is the absence of letting our true yes be yes and our no to resound as a no.

 

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