Cretin

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Cretin: (n) a stupid, obtuse, or mentally defective person.

We attempt to balance the entire philosophy of humankind on the head of a pin. Maybe that’s why we have so many pinheads.

But the truth of the matter is, knowing the exact amount of mercy to extend to the human race and the correct punishing judgment is virtually impossible to achieve.

There is no balance.

There are times when people appear to be well worth the effort, and on other occasions, jungle desires overtake each and every one of us, and we all look like high-minded monkeys.

The word “cretin” is different.

The term connotes that there is an awareness—even a memory—of what is appropriate and beneficial, but it is ignored in favor of the devious and the devilish.

There are people who do not want to win unless they can cheat.

They do not want to gain positions of power, but rather, powerfully position themselves to degrade others.

These individuals are not our adversaries nor are they our friends.

They are our enemies.

And to become an enemy of Earth and those who dwell on Earth, all that is necessary is to ignore everything you know to be true, in favor of rewriting the rules with your own magic marker.

 


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Couple

Couple: (n) two persons considered as joined together

How do you become a couple?

Can you be a couple without coupling?

Because once people think you are coupling, they will assume you’ve coupled. Is it merely a sexual term?funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Can’t be.

The manager walks in and says, “I need a couple of people to help me unload this truck.” Normally, the two that end up doing the job don’t necessarily have goo-goo eyes for each other.

It’s one of those ambiguous words Americans use that sometimes means nothing, and other times, connotes with a wink that something might be going on.

“I think they might be a couple,” she said with a smirk.

Yet in a very few months, we will end up with a couple of people running for President—and neither one of them would ever be caught smooching the other.

So couples can be sexy, couples can be utilitarian, and couples can be bitter enemies.

For instance, a couple of dictators bombed each other until their countries turned into dust.

Matter of fact, some of you might have thought, as you read this essay, that I should have sat down and waited for a couple of ideas.


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Countenance

Countenance: (n) appearance, especially the look or expression of the face

She swore she could tell.

She believed with all her heart that she could look at the countenance of another human being and tell you their whole story.

She claimed to see “auras”—colors within the cloud of confidence or deceit that surrounded the face of each person in front of her.

You see, I liked her, so I didn’t argue with her about it.

I also know for a fact that whether there’s a coloration involved or not, each one of us does exude from our countenance much more than we often realize.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Now, I will tell you, my friend who believed she saw colorations was usually much harder on people she didn’t like than people she did. I never discovered that she said any one of her enemies seemed to be ‘in the pink.’

But the light of the body is the eye—our eyes and faces reveal much of what is going on in our brain.

It doesn’t take us long to recognize when someone’s lying if we have the time just to study their expression.

It certainly does not require much effort to perceive when a brother or sister is struggling with depression or burdened with difficulty.

We probably don’t realize how many decisions we make about others based on their countenance—and I’m not talking about whether they are pretty or handsome.

No–it’s whether they have enough illumination from inside to light up their outside.


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Count

Count: (v) to enumerate

“That doesn’t count.”

A statement often made when people are in the process of a count.

What should we count? What really counts?

Well, you can count on me to try to turn this into something meaningful. Or maybe it’s not meaningful at all, just making “meaningless” a little less painful.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

What should be counted?

I think it may be the central question to the serendipity of the human race. Yet I must be honest with you—every symphony must be willing to go through the process of being a cacophony. In other words, if we’re not willing to deal with the messiness of our lives, we will never be able to straighten things up and narrow our focus.

  1. We certainly should not count offenses. No good discussion ever begins with, “This is the third time this week…”
  2. Counting your blessings is considered to be a virtue but I must admit, when people start including the joy of having their rice dish set up perfectly, I become a little cynical.
  3. It’s never a good idea to count the hours. Everything good happens in the seconds leading up to the minute.
  4. Should we count the number of friends we have? Should we count our enemies? Maybe it would be better to count where they overlap.
  5. In a season in which polls seem to be more important than finding purpose, certain counts become ridiculous.

“Do you believe in God?” asks the pollster. 86% said they do, but when pushed for a description, many decided to plead the Fifth.

What should we count?

  1. I think it’s all right to count the fingers and toes of new-born babies, unless you plan on destroying a nine-digit one.

What else could we count?

  1. I think we could count the number of times we allow ourselves to give a damn about something other than counting the problems, the iniquities, the faults, the sins and the disagreements of others.


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Convince

Convince: (v) to persuade; cajole

That would be terrific.

if we could actually persuade or cajole someone to be convinced of a great idea, the human race could leap ahead by several yardsticks of improvement.

But stubbornness prohibits us from persuasion and cynicism causes us to reject being cajoled.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Unfortunately, our human family is mainly convinced by being alarmed or threatened.

This opens the door to all sorts of nasty characters, who invent ridiculous scenarios of danger, and manipulate brothers and sisters to turn into enemies.

Therefore, I have to ask myself: rather than criticizing this weakness in humanity, which makes us afraid of almost anything, how can I transform my own life into a situation where I can be persuaded or cajoled?

Can I stay loose enough in my opinions that the insertion of knowledge and common sense can sway me to better paths? Can I realize that being angry has very little to do with being productive, and that nice guys don’t finish last—they just finish so early that they’re in the locker room, having already taken their shower.


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Charger

Charger: (n) Archaic a large, flat dish; platter

Long, long ago, when an epidemic of the simple common cold could kill people off by the thousands, a flat serving tray was referred to as a “charger.”

It has very little significance to us, as we now view a small cord which attaches to our phone as the only charger of note.

But long ago, when a young girl breathlessly finished a dance, nearly naked from her exuberant efforts, her step-father, a king, greatly
aroused by her choreography, promised to give her anything she wanted as payment for her little strip-tease.

He was obviously staring down at a beautiful temptation, and also at the evidence that she had succeeded in waking up the “little king.”

She was a nasty little vixen, with a mother who had been trained to be ruthless and cruel. So the two of them got together, and the girl requested the head of John the Baptist–“on a charger.”

(This is origin of the slogan, “I want his head on a silver platter.” I assume that the request for the platter was to express extreme indifference.)

But it is a warning.

For the Prophet John made the mistake of generating enemies of souls with no conscience.

And the young girl, who had been raised by a bedeviled mother to use the lust of men to her advantage, was able to take the Baptist’s indiscretion in judging a queen, and the queen’s fury over his insolence, and turn it into a tragedy.

It teaches us all that we should choose our words carefully — and avoid making enemies of people who really wouldn’t mind putting our fate on a plate.

 

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Budding

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Budding: (adj) developing buds in the normal growth process

Ideas may be our worst enemies.

Even though many people yearn for them, plead for them or even pay good, hard cash for them, ideas often takDictionary Be us off the track of the successful trail.

We honor ideas too much. We are afraid to abandon them when the budding of a new possibility appears before our eyes. We feel a false sense of loyalty–especially true when it’s our own brainchild.

Therefore, we fail to question what is already unraveling, innovate that which is archaic, and simply laugh off things we have planned which are ridiculous.

We should be looking for the greening of an idea–some evidence that the planted seed is actually breaking through the soil, reaching to live.

Most people spend too much time visiting their ideas, which they buried, and now, rather than becoming a garden, resemble a graveyard.

 

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