Debit Card

Debit Card: (n) a plastic card that resembles a credit card but functions like a check 

No one should have a debit card if they don’t know the value of money.

And if they use their debit card poorly, they will soon have a nasty lesson on the danger of money.

I think a debit card is an absolutely marvelous invention—as long as you have money in the bank and you’re just swiping it away.

Yes—how apropos. “Look at me! I’m swiping my own money. I am stealing from myself. Don’t tell anyone.”

Of course, someone is told.

Whoever is in charge of keeping the tally on your balance—well, that individual knows fully well how much money can still be swiped before you are not only a thief, but a criminal.

Money is serious business that should never be taken too seriously.

But when money is not taken seriously, you can get into serious trouble.

I am happiest when I am not dealing with money or debit cards or credit or paying for anything.

I’ve never gone fishing in a lake and had a crab crawl up to me and charge me for the fish I just caught. (That may be because crabs don’t live near lakes.)

But there’s something beautiful about entertaining oneself, or even feeding your face, without spending a dime. But it is not interesting enough that I will actually pursue it.

It does, however, make great verbiage for an article, where you’re trying to be just a little bit cutie—and bitchy—about debit cards.

Cretin

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Cretin: (n) a stupid, obtuse, or mentally defective person.

We attempt to balance the entire philosophy of humankind on the head of a pin. Maybe that’s why we have so many pinheads.

But the truth of the matter is, knowing the exact amount of mercy to extend to the human race and the correct punishing judgment is virtually impossible to achieve.

There is no balance.

There are times when people appear to be well worth the effort, and on other occasions, jungle desires overtake each and every one of us, and we all look like high-minded monkeys.

The word “cretin” is different.

The term connotes that there is an awareness—even a memory—of what is appropriate and beneficial, but it is ignored in favor of the devious and the devilish.

There are people who do not want to win unless they can cheat.

They do not want to gain positions of power, but rather, powerfully position themselves to degrade others.

These individuals are not our adversaries nor are they our friends.

They are our enemies.

And to become an enemy of Earth and those who dwell on Earth, all that is necessary is to ignore everything you know to be true, in favor of rewriting the rules with your own magic marker.

 


Subscribe to Jonathan’s Weekly Podcast

Good News and Better News

 

Bison

Bison: (n) a humpbacked shaggy-haired wild ox

Dictionary BWhile driving through Wyoming, I saw a bison standing along the side of the freeway, not more than fifty yards away.

A buffalo.

It was such a strange sensation.

I had seen many pictures of the bison, but to suddenly be in such close proximity with its three-dimensional form translated me back to a time when America was young, settlers were traveling across the prairie in Conestoga wagons, and the Native Americans were struggling to maintain their integrity without becoming belligerent.

These bisons were everywhere. They were sustenance.

I had a sweeping awareness that came over my soul, realizing how hard it was to live when the bison roamed the Earth at will.

Nowadays, we have an interesting dilemma in America: we want to feed the horse, but no one wants to shovel the shit.

Matter of fact, sometimes we try to stop feeding the horse so there’s not as much shit. Or we let the shit fall where it may, insisting it’s just reality.

But on this Memorial Day, what really impresses me about those who have gone before us and have given their lives to a cause is that they completely comprehended that feeding the horse does produce shit that needs to be shoveled.

In other words, for every bison you kill, there’s one less bison.

And for every human being you hurt, there’s one new enemy.

Likewise, for every war you start, there’s a few less sons and daughters who will grow up and live full lives.

And finally, for every prejudice you express, there’s an anger that will come back your way from those who have been oppressed.

Sometimes it’s just good to drive along the freeway, see a bison and appreciate the beauty of life–because the truth of the matter is, all matter demands truth.

And truth comes with a balance of feeding the horse and shoveling the shit

Donate ButtonThank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Balance

Balance: (n) an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.Dictionary B

It is the responsibility of every creature who has human skin to stop every once in a while, look back on the things they have said and believed…and giggle.

Sometimes it’s even necessary to openly repent in sackcloth and ashes, in front of our fellow skin-wearers.

I have said many stupid things in my life. Trying to explain why I shared these thoughts at the time would result in a series of cluttered excuses which would soon run into one another and topple the whole explanation.

So I shall not.

It is my purpose as a writer to be a truth-teller–not in the sense of pretending that I have the truth, but proving to you how I have pursued enough error that I can comfort you and warn you not to go in a particular direction.

For instance, one of the comical thoughts I once propagated was that life should be balanced. Matter of fact, I came up with a coy, little phrase: “Holy balance.”

It really did not take long for me to realize that an Earth that creates tornadoes has no intention of me ever standing on solid ground.

I now realize that life is in seasons and transitions, which we learn to enjoy. We also discover what to avoid.

I have lived long enough to view the many forms of hypocrisy which started out with the noble intention of being righteous. There are simply junctures when freedoms are acquired, upsetting those who felt they were in charge of doling out such consideration.

  • I am not in charge of your life.
  • I have no say in your freedom.
  • And I certainly cannot tell you that I have a balanced view on my fellow human beings.

For after all, there was just too much crap put in my toilet for me to have yet caught up … with all the flushing necessary.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

*******************

NEW BOOK RELEASE BY JONATHAN RICHARD CRING

WITHIN

A meeting place for folks who know they’re human

 $3.99 plus $2.00 S&H

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

$3.99 plus $2.00 Shipping & Handling

Buy Now Button

 

Assess

Assess: (v) to evaluate or estimate the nature, ability, or quality of.dictionary with letter A

Long before the truth makes you free, it first makes you mad.

The trouble with the truth is that it rarely is concerned about our self-worth, feelings of comfortability or need to be appreciated.

That is why probably the most difficult thing we can possibly do is assess ourselves.

Some people spend thousands of dollars to be analyzed.

Other folks live in abusive relationships where they are overly criticized simply because they’ve allowed themselves to become so weak and unable to deal with their own fallacies that they allow someone else to brutalize them.

And then, a goodly portion of the human race blithely contends that they “are who the are” and everyone should just accept them.

  • So where’s the balance?
  • Is there a balance?
  • And how many times do we fall over while looking for the balance?

There are three major questions we should quietly ask ourselves at the end of each and every week, and do our darndest to be forthcoming and honest with our answers

  1. Did what I do this week actually work?
  2. Did I hurt anyone while doing what I do?
  3. Are there some obvious ways that it could be done better?

If we would take the opportunity to privately ask these three questions, we would not have to be nearly as defensive when others try to force the questions upon us.

Because I will tell you something from deep in my heart: if who I am today is the best I’m ever going to be, then I give up.

In other words, if I’m not ready to turn this into a journey of discovery instead of a march of independence, I will probably reach the end of my quest quite unfulfilled.

I assess myself: Often I do not like what I see; sometimes I’m surprised at my magnificence.

The balance of those two is what makes me powerful.

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Amuck

dictionary with letter A

Amuck: (adj): out of control: the anarchists were running amuck.

Innocence is often what we scream when we’re notoriously guilty or foolishly ignorant.

To acquire innocence, one must find oneself in a profile free of guilt and not yet aware of ignorance. That doesn’t happen very often.

Sitting in front of a meal of fried fish from Captain D’s Seafood last night, I realized that the possibility of maintaining a low-caloric dinner depended on whether I was going to eat next to nothing of the portion provided, or push it away and rely totally on the sides that were lessened in calories.

Yet at the same time, how can you be a vivacious, energetic, creative and passionate human being and step away from a plate full of fried fish?

Perhaps if you are a nun or of a monastic order, gaining strength and pride through such fasting, you can maintain personal dignity while failing to devour.

But the true essence of the human experience is finding a way to eat the fried fish and enjoy it without running amuck and consuming too much–and then having it show up on the various areas of your circumference in the future.

How does one do that?

How does one find himself gregariously and voraciously involved in life without running amuck with overage and excesses?

It’s obvious that our poets and musicians have never been able to find such a balance, many ending up self-destructive or destitute.

Certainly ministers and schoolteachers tout that they have a regulatory system enabling them to be prudent, prim and proper–but even with them, occasionally when you pull back the holy cloth or move the blackboard, you see hidden vices and places where they have run amuck.

Is it too much to ask of a human being to be temperate?

Is it beyond the comprehension of our being–which mingles a little monkey with a little angel–to contend that we are going to do heavenly things?

Or do we need to have a side of deviled egg with our angel food cake?

 

 

Donate Button

 

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Aerialist

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Aerialist: (n) a person who performs acrobatics high above the ground on a tightrope or trapeze.

We will trust in something.

  • Those who do not put their faith in God find great solace in education, knowledge or science.
  • Folks who are not physically inclined are comforted by reading, writing or thinking.

It always astounds me when I watch folks working a trapeze–how they overcome their fear of heights–until I realize that it has little to do with that. I suppose it would even be possible to have such an apprehension, and as long as you placed your faith in the skill of maintaining your craft, you would be fine.

After all, an aerialist does not trust the wire he or she is walking across. The wire is the obstacle. Certainly, they are careful to maintain the integrity of the line, but they place their faith in the jungle control and well-trained connection they have with their muscles and bones.

Walking across a high wire is not about trusting the surface nor even your balance. It is having the physical tone to know that when you place your foot down anywhere, the tendons and ligaments that control that appendage are strong, firm and sure.

It’s true of anything in life.

As I write this article today, there are millions of people who would insist they are incapable of such a task. They would find it nerve-wracking, if not foreboding, to put together sentences or ideas that possess interest.

But I trust the muscle. As I think, I say.

It’s a confidence that has grown in me as I have arrived at the moment of composition, without any idea ahead of time about what I’m going to share. I dig deep into my soul and find not only a topic, but a personal insight.

An aerialist is not a person who places his faith in chance, but rather, someone who knows that his body will respond the same, whether walking in the air, or on terra firma. An aerialist is a human testimony of working what we do well until we can have total enjoyment in the experience because we have logged the hours of practice.

It’s true for all of us–or else the lack of the truth leaves us feeling inadequate or meaningless.

I cannot walk on a high wire, but I do understand what gives them the impetus and confidence to do so: it is the same muscle and moxie that grants me the window to open every day … to let the fresh air of ideas sweep through me and from me.