Cuspid

Cuspid: (n) a tooth with a single projection point or elevation; canine.

I have always felt that the trouble with perspectives is that you can only display one at a time.

Although I have met fellow travelers who feel they have come up with a perspective that is universal, I think anything that rattles around in our minds collects all the dust and goop of its surroundings.

In other words, our opinions permeate our perspectives.

Whenever I hear anyone talk about the subject of teeth or the positioning of a cuspid, I have to silence my soul and ease my simmering frustration. Even in my family, there are those who are greatly perturbed by their teeth and will spend thousand of dollars to improve the situation.

(You can see by the sentence I just shared that my perspective is showing my prejudice.)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being concerned about your teeth (even if you discover that your cuspids are actually bicuspid).

I will concur with that statement if you will agree with me that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being unconcerned with a gap between one’s teeth.

Unfortunately, the “gappers” are highly critical of the “toothers” for being overwrought and the “toothers” are nearly repulsed at the sight of a “gapper.”

I don’t know why we think it’s strange that we have wars, struggles, bigotry and mayhem in our world.

When you consider the dissension that can befall us simply by discussing the cuspid, it’s easy to understand how this could be multiplied seven times over when arguing the Godhead.

If you have lovely teeth, I am very happy for you.

But please understand—I have chosen to take my time, my money and my sense of well-being and sit over here with my teeth as they are and let them last just like me—for as long as they can hang in there.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Cumulative Effect

Cumulative effect: (n) the end result of repetitious actions

“Excuse me, young man! You need to love yourself.”

By the way, some people will not know how valuable you are, so you will need to learn how to shut them out of your life. “

“Don’t be critical of yourself. God doesn’t make junk.”

“There’s a wonderful plan for your life, so keep your heart open for its arrival.”

“The world is filled with nasty people. You must learn to identify them, or they will steal your inheritance. The reason they want to steal it is so they can make their portion larger.”

“So beware—people are wonderful until they’re not.”

“Don’t be so down on yourself. You don’t have to be great all the time. Cut yourself some slack. Everybody else does. It’s human.”

“If you find that the people you’re with cannot support you with unconditional love, then unconditionally get rid of them.”

“God wants you to know that He loves you just the way you are. You don’t have to change for anyone. Since you don’t have to change for anyone, you can reject those who think you are not sufficient just as you are.”

“These are your enemies. Even though we try to love our enemies, our enemies don’t go away because we love them. So watch out for yourself.”

“Be careful. Be wary.”

“Be prepared to defend yourself because you’re the only one who can do it.”

“And certainly—if you do not toot your own horn, it will never be tooted.”

“You must stand up for yourself or all the bullies will bring you down.

Bullies need a punch in the nose, or they keep sticking that nose into your business. Sometimes you gotta fight. Fight for yourself, and make sure you win. And when you win, communicate to those who might want to fight you that you’re determined to honor yourself and your own opinions.”

“Be strong and do not put up with anybody’s bullshit.”

This is a cumulative effect.

By the way, this is why we’ve learned to hate each other.

 

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Culottes

Culottes: (n) women’s trousers, usually knee-length or calf-length, cut full to resemble a skirt.

I have seen enough things come and go, enough rules altered–opinions ransacked by reality—that I can no longer abide just accepting a set of regulations without asking why.

In my lifetime, I was informed that long hair was effeminate.

I was told that divorce was forbidden.

Masturbation was considered to be a sin.

Dating between the races was anti-Christ.

And one summer, Camp Jesus Something-Or-Other refused to allow the girls to wear culottes.

It was absolutely ridiculous.

None of the boys objected to the restriction, because girls in skirts would be running, sitting oddly and the fellows would get a great vision of their panties, which would last until the next time they were alone in their sleeping bags.

Everybody—and I mean, everybody—knew the rule was bullshit.

Even when the counselors were asked why the stipulation was in place, they parroted off some answer given to them by the founders of the camp (which they didn’t believe).

I comprehend the process. For instance, for ten years we had to whisper that we “passed gas” instead of bluntly saying we farted.

You could talk about dating and love, but you weren’t allowed to mention sex. That is, until you suddenly were permitted.

Can we shorten this agonizing delay?

Matter of fact, let us decide that if there isn’t a legitimate health, well-being or realistic moral reason for a guideline to exist, we will call it meaningless and request that it be reviewed.

Once and for all, can we come to a conclusion that sanctifying our race by trying to corral human emotions is fruitless?

Culottes look good on girls. They make girls more comfortable. And the only time a girl wears pants and looks like a man is if she decides she wants to go for the whole butch persona.

 

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Coproduce

Coproduce: (v) to produce a motion picture, play, etc,  in collaboration with others.

My son works in the independent film industry.

Matter of fact, for four years I joined his wife, Tracy and him by penning thirteen screenplays, which they ably turned into feature-length funny wisdom on words that begin with a C
movies.

It was very enjoyable.

We agreed on almost everything—except…

He really felt it was good—dare I say noble?—to collaborate. To co-produce with strangers.

Let me make it very clear. I love people as long as I don’t have to endure too many of their opinions.

I welcome input.

I learn from almost everyone.

But normally I do this by watching their successes and imitating those procedures.

What I do not like to do is sit around a table and “brainstorm.” To me, brainstorming leads to a tornado of confusion.

I also don’t like the fact that when people co-produce, they tend to focus too much on their own contribution to the project, sniffing it out like hound dogs looking for a scurrying rabbit, constantly reminding everyone quietly, or loudly, that the preceding portion was their idea.

Perhaps in the long run, I lose some quality by tapping only the sap of my own tree trunk.

But when you only have yourself to blame, you don’t have to share bows or get into ridiculous arguments about whose ingenious notions really made the experience click.


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Convince

Convince: (v) to persuade; cajole

That would be terrific.

if we could actually persuade or cajole someone to be convinced of a great idea, the human race could leap ahead by several yardsticks of improvement.

But stubbornness prohibits us from persuasion and cynicism causes us to reject being cajoled.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Unfortunately, our human family is mainly convinced by being alarmed or threatened.

This opens the door to all sorts of nasty characters, who invent ridiculous scenarios of danger, and manipulate brothers and sisters to turn into enemies.

Therefore, I have to ask myself: rather than criticizing this weakness in humanity, which makes us afraid of almost anything, how can I transform my own life into a situation where I can be persuaded or cajoled?

Can I stay loose enough in my opinions that the insertion of knowledge and common sense can sway me to better paths? Can I realize that being angry has very little to do with being productive, and that nice guys don’t finish last—they just finish so early that they’re in the locker room, having already taken their shower.


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Contentious

Contentious: (adj) containing argument or strife

There is no human being who is mature enough to recognize differences with another human being without setting up the arena for disagreement and fighting.

We think we are so damn open-minded, when what we really are is insecure enough that if we don’t surround ourselves with those who uplift our flag of opinion, we will soon, in a warlike fashion, start looking for enemies to emotionally punch.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

The only way to avoid contention is to seek all things in common, so that when variations of thought rise to the surface, it is unusual rather than expected.

Otherwise, a Baptist having lunch with a Catholic is prepared to play Bible superiority. A Republican going to a movie with a Democrat is already determining that his or her opinion must differ—otherwise, what’s the sense of being Republican? And men and women, who certainly find joy and pleasure in one another, are prodded by the entertainment industry and countless books, to find occasions to be at odds.

It is very difficult to be contentious with someone who agrees with you.

So, if you set out to find points of commonality and humanity, then, whether you think there should be a pipeline running through the middle of the country or not, it has much less possibility of turning into a bloody war of mayhem.

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Consult

Consult: (v) to seek information or advice from (someone with expertise

Try as I will, it is impossible to get anything but orange juice out of an orange. It might be handy; if I woke up and decided I wanted grape funny wisdom on words that begin with a Cjuice and could communicate my need to the orange, then I wouldn’t have to go out and buy a bunch of grapes.

But oranges are stubborn. They stay in their own skin.

And grapes won’t give me grapefruit juice, even though the name is included.

This is also true with human beings. Once people establish what flavor they are–what flows from them and what their essence is, it’s ridiculous to think they will offer a vast array of different ideas.

For instance, I would not go to a Catholic priest to talk about birth control. On that issue, he’s an orange. He’s going to impart orange juice.

Likewise, I would not go to a Planned Parenthood Center to make my final decision on whether to have a child born or aborted. They also may have a pat answer.

Who we consult and how we consult determines whether we actually have consulted, or just informed.

Anybody will inform you on anything at any time because we’re all susceptible to giving our opinion–even though we don’t know what the hell we’re talking about.

So when you discover something that needs to be explained or fulfilled in your life, you should go to the more neutral party–or else pick the person who is more likely to juice you up.

 

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Mr. Kringle's Tales...26 Stories 'Til Christmas

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