Consensus

Consensus: (n) general agreement

Consensus is a general agreement to handle major issues in a way that causes us to become captains of our fate.

It is escaping private opinions.

To say we are desperately in need of consensus on many of the issues of Earth-life might be the greatest understatement ever spoken–next to “Do you think thatfunny wisdom on words that begin with a C
iceberg is going to give the Titanic any problems?”

There are six categories, and I am going to venture, nobly but humbly, to give my consensus on six of these common Earth circumstances:

  1. Earth

The Earth is not yours, it is not mine. It runs on a system. It rewards those who diligently learn the technique and the nurturing of Mother.

  1. God

No one knows. Stop pretending you do. Certainly stop pretending you don’t. God is an unknown quantity which will end up being of great benefit to us if we want to continue the energy of our existence after death–and always points us to the beauty of His Earth and how it works if we’ll respect Father’s opinion about Mother.

  1. People

They are neither a hazard nor a blessing, but rather, a necessity. You will be completely incapable of getting your Big Mac at three o’clock in the morning if there are no people. Our best consensus on dealing with people is to cease looking at them by color, religion, culture or sexual orientation and begin to embrace them as the cousins they are.

  1. Work

Human beings are at their most harmonious when they put labor and effort of twenty-five hours into each week. That’s five hours–Monday through Friday. If we became accustomed to that work schedule we would not only be happier, but also most efficient.

  1. Love

Love is neither an emotion nor is it a sentiment. It is the atmosphere that fosters the cooperation necessary for work, people, God and the Earth to hum. It is a committed affection.

And finally:

  1. Romance

Although there are many barriers that come to play with venereal diseases and unwanted pregnancies, those who attempt to deter romance, boxing it up into neat little units of propriety, historically end up looking like supreme assholes.

A little romance does a lot of good. Often a lot of romance does very little good.

I present my consensus on these issues. Of course, yours is just as good as mine.

And where they overlap, may we join together in hilarious fellowship.

 

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Cha-Cha

Cha-cha: (n) a dance with Latin American rhythm

“Someone talked me into it.”

Those are the words that usually precede every horror story.

When I was in high school, some friends of mine wanted to go to a dance club because there were a lot of girls there and even though they
were not necessarily in favor of becoming “light of foot,” they were very interested in possibly lighting up some of the fine ladies.

So we decided to practice dancing–including the cha-cha.

I am large. I am pretty agile for a large person, but also self-conscious about swaying my hips and “jutting” in bizarre intervals.

My friends insisted that I looked great. They did this because they wanted to go to the club, and I had the car to get us there.

We selected to wear some fancy clothes–at least by the standards of our home town of fifteen hundred people. We arrived at the club, and I came in with the confidence of the Titanic. I mean the Titanic when it started its trip.

I began dancing and soon all those around me stopped to watch me do the cha-cha with this tiny young girl with auburn hair. I thought they were viewing because I was good, but actually they were stunned by the sight of such a portly fellow trying to do such tiny steps.

They laughed.

Is it necessary for me to say that no one likes to be laughed at? Yet running out of the room crying was not an option. Raining down fire from heaven ala “Carrie” was not available. But I got my revenge.

I just kept dancing.

After awhile, people got tired of staring, started moving themselves, and in no time at all, I was ignored.

There’s a lesson in there somewhere. Maybe you can dig it out. Here’s a clue:

It’ll have something to do with “keep dancing.”

 

 

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Amphitheater

dictionary with letter A

Amphitheater: (n.) a round location for performing events, surrounded by tiers for seating.

I don’t know if the Greeks intended for their amphitheaters to be outside or not, but every amphitheater I’ve ever performed in was ala natural.

And here is the problem: there is nothing creatively hatched, artistically structured, musically composed or theatrically staged which is better when exposed to the mosquitoes.

The only people who actually like having their entertainment performed outside are cruel promoters and idealistic committees who think it would be “really neat.”

Such an event happened to me in Detroit, Michigan, when I was working a supper club and having great fun sharing music and a bit of hilarity with the audience over dried-up pot roast and light green chicken.

It suddenly occurred to the owner of this supper club that it might be a real public relations boost if we did one of the shows outside in the parking lot, creating our own amphitheater of chairs and signage, advertising the establishment for those passing by or willing to come and sit in folding chairs to listen to music that they could hear at home in their recliners.

Not only was there a dearth of attendance but we got a late start, and the dampness of the early evening created humidity in our speakers, so the sound, as we went along, became more and more muffled.

Perhaps the most aggravating part of this little “amphitheater adventure” of our promotional argonaut was when he came up, feeling the need to justify himself, and proclaimed with an unnerving jubilance, “It wasn’t that bad.”

Yes. That’s what every artist wants to hear–of the disasters available, you ended up with a broken paddle in a canoe on the Niagara River instead of bottom bunk on the Titanic.

Did I mention to you that I don’t particularly care for amphitheaters?

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Adamant

Words from Dic(tionary)

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Adamant: (adj.) refusing to be persuaded or refusing to change one’s mind.

I’m not.

Adamant, that is.

I used to be. Adamant seems to be a “wrong of passage” by all young folks, who think that clinging to their opinions is the best way to be grown-up. Such foolishness is perpetuated by political parties which refuse to abandon arcane concepts for fear of coming across as flip-floppers. By the way–I AM a flip-flopper, and damn proud of it.

  • Flip-flopping has prevented me from doing ridiculous things–twice.
  • Flip-flopping has allowed me to include other members of the human race that I once disdained.
  • Flip-flopping has nurtured a sense of humor in me about my own attributes instead of turning me into  a tape recorder announcing my abilities.
  • Flip-flopping keeps me from being adamant.

There may be those who think there are cases when we need to be adamant in the attempt to preserve liberty, righteousness or independence. But since I don’t fear that liberty, righteousness or independence are ever in great danger, it is not required for me to pick up a gun, hurl an insult or even “stand fast for my cause” while ignoring the pursuit of truth.

It’s why I can’t be a Republican or a Democrat. They are both sure. I am not.

It’s why I have trouble sometimes being a Christian. They are convinced that Muslims, Jews and all the other believing sorts are erred, and therefore dangerously teetering on damnation.

This has certainly kept me from being a suicide bomber–too many of my own ideas have blown up in my face for me to blow up for any of my ideas.

I am not adamant.

Actually, I don’t even know why the word exists–and any time I hear someone use it, I quietly slip away, knowing deep in my heart that those who choose that profile must suffer the punishment for their inflexibility. And what is the punishment?

You end up stuck with what you are, with no reinforcements of wisdom coming your way.

Adamant is what our society calls “conviction.”

To me, it’s floating along on the Titanic in the middle of a chilly sea … oblivious to the icebergs.

Adamant

Words from Dic(tionary)

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Adamant: (adj.) refusing to be persuaded or refusing to change one’s mind.

I’m not.

Adamant, that is.

I used to be. Adamant seems to be a “wrong of passage” by all young folks, who think that clinging to their opinions is the best way to be grown-up. Such foolishness is perpetuated by political parties which refuse to abandon arcane concepts for fear of coming across as flip-floppers. By the way–I AM a flip-flopper, and damn proud of it.

  • Flip-flopping has prevented me from doing ridiculous things–twice.
  • Flip-flopping has allowed me to include other members of the human race that I once disdained.
  • Flip-flopping has nurtured a sense of humor in me about my own attributes instead of turning me into  a tape recorder announcing my abilities.
  • Flip-flopping keeps me from being adamant.

There may be those who think there are cases when we need to be adamant in the attempt to preserve liberty, righteousness or independence. But since I don’t fear that liberty, righteousness or independence are ever in great danger, it is not required for me to pick up a gun, hurl an insult or even “stand fast for my cause” while ignoring the pursuit of truth.

It’s why I can’t be a Republican or a Democrat. They are both sure. I am not.

It’s why I have trouble sometimes being a Christian. They are convinced that Muslims, Jews and all the other believing sorts are erred, and therefore dangerously teetering on damnation.

This has certainly kept me from being a suicide bomber–too many of my own ideas have blown up in my face for me to blow up for anything.

I am not adamant.

Actually, I don’t even know why the word exists–and any time I hear someone use it, I quietly slip away, knowing deep in my heart that those who choose that profile must suffer the punishment for their inflexibility. And what is the punishment?

You end up stuck with what you are, with no reinforcements of wisdom coming your way.

Adamant is what our society calls “conviction.”

To me, it’s floating along on the Titanic in the middle of a chilly sea … oblivious to the icebergs.