Boor: (n) an unrefined, ill-mannered person.

Personal revelations are risky.Dictionary B

You may think you’re being transparent or even clever–but others might find you to be a boor.

In other words, distasteful.

But at the root of all comedy–which is really the best doorway to mutual human understanding–is a certain amount of surprising revelation.

Yet there is a reason we disdain bathroom humor, even though we all take a crap.

So what can we share without people squinting and expressing their disapproval over our candor?

Tricky business, huh?

For instance, I could tell you that I enjoy farting. It is very true. But there is a certain amount of my readership that would assert that such a confession is classless. They would feel superior to me. Even if I explained that I try to do most of my farting under the covers, and not welcome others to visit, or that the relief it gives to my tummy has an almost supernatural-salvation sensation, I would still be in danger of being cast into the role of the boor, who must be segregated from the decent folk.

So to keep from being an outcast, I would never, ever admit to you that I relish farting.

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Bode: (v) to be an omen of a particular outcome.

Dictionary B

If you talk long enough about farts, you’ll actually start smelling them.

Pardon my crude observation. I wanted to get your attention.

After all, in the United States, it is the way we get people’s heads to turn in our direction.

We shock, alarm, prophesy doom, threaten, warn and curse.

For after all, it is difficult to gather an audience around the idea of happiness. Matter of fact, sometimes I think we despise joy because it does not afford us enough opportunity to complain.

In this political season of furor, it seems that the only way to gain a second look is to express how things do not bode well.

I often wonder why–since our country is so screwed up, so perverted, so destitute and so absolutely bedraggled–individuals would want to become its presiding officer.

Could it be they are lying?

Is there the possibility of exaggeration?

Maybe we’re just geared toward a desire to see the world destroyed so we don’t have to deal with it anymore.

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Bod: (n) a body or physique.

Dictionary BMethinks I protest too little.

Yes, all my life I have joked about my appearance to the amusement of audiences, never really feeling diminished by being unable to be part of the chosen few who are considered to have “a good bod.”

Alphabetically, the front my body resembles the letter O, and sideways, a B. (That in itself, you see, is a bit of comedy at my own expense.)

I’ve been told by those who consider themselves to be psychologically astute, that such self deprecation can be harmful and disguises a hidden pain.

But … not really.

If there were no mirrors in the world and I was speculating on my appearance, then perhaps a case could be made that I needed to have greater generosity of spirit toward my own visage. But since I know what I look like and I realize that it falls outside the parameters listed for “leading man” or “stud,” there seems to be a healthy need to be realistic and use what I have to the best of my ability, without feeling that I need to place it in a better frame.

Yes, my picture is somewhat frameless.

But considering that, I’ve been blessed by quite a few women, who decided to look beyond my faults and see my need. Or my benefit.

So methinks I protest just enough.

And to these ladies aforementioned, I am most grateful that they helped me discover all the pleasures and joys on the romantic menu.

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Black: (adj) the very darkest color

  • Dictionary BA black comedy.
  • A black cave.
  • A black situation.
  • A black scenario.
  • A blackened sky.
  • Black as sin.

Sometimes we wonder why ignorance persists.

We muse over our alleged newfound openness and genteel demeanor concerning our differences while continuing to perpetuate myths.

First and foremost, there are really no black people. Even those who live deep in the heart of Africa are not actually black.

The human race is an unusually diverse palate of browns–even white people are peachy-beige. We apply hard names with hard definitions onto individuals in order to quietly segregate them in a conversational way, since we’ve made it illegal to do so in a general way.

Black is beautiful.

Black is classy.

Black is the new orange.

The truth is that human beings are neither black or white. They continue to be, and always will be, unpredictable.


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Bearable: (adj) able to be endured.Dictionary B

Politics without attack ads and lies.

Entertainment that attempts to be both relevant and inspiring.

Religion that includes humanity.

Sexuality without violence.

Education that becomes wisdom.

Men and women finding common ground.

Reasons to get along promoted.

Selfishness unmasked.

Common sense revered.

Gentleness acclaimed.

Peace-makers considered brave.

Money a way to assist.

Comedy humorous.

Food as fuel.

Respect for the Earth.

Intelligence pursued.

Judgment removed.

Mercy studied.

Loyalty with a sense of history.

Flag-waving with introspection.

Debate with control.

Deceit exposed.

Self-righteousness ridiculed.

Yes, these things are bearable.

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Attire: (n) clothes, especially fine or formal ones.dictionary with letter A

I’ve only owned one house in my life.

It was a big one. The master bedroom had a huge walk-in closet.

Caught up in the vanity of the moment, I felt it was my duty to fill this enclosure with various costumes, clothing choices and attire which I could walk in and choose from daily as “lord of my manor.”

So I purchased garments, and some were given to me as gifts.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that each and every week, I was only wearing about three or four different outfits–repeatedly. The rest of the clothes were dangling from hangers like ugly gargoyles on a medieval castle.

They were fixtures. Matter of fact, some of them collected dust.

In the midst of this comedy of collection, I had a realization.

My mind went back twenty years earlier, when I found myself doing a gig in a small Kentucky town. (I was so grateful for the opportunity to share my talents and to have anyone listen to me that I chose to ignore the fact that the community had fewer than 500 people, and that the building’s foundation was crumbling.)

Arriving at this latest opportunity, I realized I only had two outfits from which to choose. One of them was a powder blue leisure suit which I had worn too often and was certainly a bit grimy. The other outfit was clean, but because I didn’t have a belt, the pants kept sliding down, threatening to disappear, producing disgrace.

So torn between my attire, I first put on the pants without a belt, only to discover that it was very annoying to keep pulling them up. So right before the show began, I slid into a back room and put on my somewhat filthy, powder-blue leisure suit.

In that moment I made a decision about my attire:

Always better to be a little soiled than “unfoiled.”

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dictionary with letter A

Aphorism: (n.) a short, witty remark containing a general truth.

The definition is filled with redundancies.

For I will tell you that after years of writing articles and even speaking in front of audiences, if something is not short, it will never be viewed as witty. And honestly, it is virtually impossible to be witty without revealing some sort of abiding truth.,

So what is missing today? In an age of Twitter and Tweets, when we’re trying to limit ourselves to 140 characters, we should be uncovering the secret to communication–and a great doorway for sharing abiding precepts.

But remembering that it is out of the abundance of human emotions that we speak, when we are devoid of emotional purity, entangled in webs of our own deceit and selfishness, what emerges from our speech and our writing is the drivel of nonsense, as we attempt to be clever, often ending up crude.

  • Is it possible to be pointed without stabbing everyone with your jaded attitude?
  • How about using comedy minus vulgarity?
  • Can you challenge without becoming a critic?
  • Can you question while leaving out all the brattiness?

You can awaken the senses without slapping the face. It takes a willingness to improve the human situation without trying to degrade humanity.

Will there be a cycle which will take us back to a time when “short,” “witty” and “truth” mingled with each other to hatch delight?

I certainly think so.

But I do believe we’ll have to learn how to tip-toe through the pasture, avoiding all the bullshit, to make sure we can get to where the flowers grow.


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