Cute as a Button

Cute as a button: (adj) daintily attractive

I shall not take much time sharing my feelings about the phrase “cute as a button.”

I’m trying to imagine a time in our history when a button would have been considered cute.

I looked at buttons in my closet, and there was more commonality than attractiveness.

Is that the message? That once you reach the level of being a button—no matter how you got there or what you actually look like—simply by being a button and having gone through an appropriate struggle to achieve it, you are deemed cute?

Or maybe, back in an age when pulling corn, beans and wheat out of the ground was considered a miraculous, admirable feat, buttons might have been much more alluring.

Nowadays, if someone said something was “cute as a button,” a whole room of younger humans would roll their eyes.

How often do we use buttons?

  • Velcro
  • Zippers
  • T-shirts
  • Snaps

Could buttons be a dying breed?

And by becoming rare, are they cuter?

There is some charm in lowering the standard on what is cute. I’m still not sure if I could be included in the “button crowd,” but if we could change it over time to “cute as a fastener,” I might have a chance.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Cut and Paste

Cut and paste: (adj) assembled or produced from various existing bits and pieces:

I do not think there is anything we used to do that is better than what we’re doing now.

I know, as I get older, I should be cranky about losing favorite practices, which have been swept away by trending winds.

I just don’t feel that way.

I think the human race has one endearing quality. We like to find an easier way to do things and then later pretend it was complicated—developing a story about our struggle.

Years ago, I published a street newspaper. It was a combination of news stories, commentary, cartoons and a sprinkling of creative notions. There were no home computers which could be used to lay out this newspaper simply by punching buttons and shifting keys—and if there were, they were experimental, being tested at the New York Times.

We had to cut and paste.

All we had to assist us was a word processor, on which we typed the articles, a pencil set used to draw the cartoons, a pair of scissors for cutting out the pieces so they would fit into the space provided, and a jar of rubber cement, which was put on the back of the stories so they could be glued into their proper place. Then the master was run through a printer and translated, ala Gutenberg, onto newsprint.

Two things were necessary—a ruler and patience.

The ruler was needed to put the stories down straight so they wouldn’t look crooked. And patience—because miscalculations caused the formatting of the master copy to be a-kilter.

The only salvation was convincing oneself—and I mean thoroughly—that cutting and pasting copy onto a master layout was great fun. Matter of fact, nothing had been so delightful since Belgian waffles received their first dousing of powdered sugar.

Yet I would never want to go back to that era.

I don’t think it was better.

But I do think we have many journalists, cartoonists, writers and contributors who believe all they have to do is splatter some random paragraphs onto a screen, and suddenly they’re vying for a Pulitzer.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Cushy

Cushy: (adj) involving little effort for ample reward

If you keep insisting that you have “nothing against hard work,” someone will eventually make you do it.

Hard work, that is.

I don’t know where we got the idea that sweating, struggling, grunting, groaning, bitching and moaning are the virtuous parts of adult life—signs that we are truly getting something done.

Without shame—minus guilt—jubilantly, I proclaim to you that I will always seek the cushy path.

I don’t care if you think that makes me lazy or if you feel me less trustworthy because I will not trudge along with the weary.

I have worked for many years to be speedy, efficient and good at what I do in my particular lane on the human highway. So when the need for other labor comes up, I can reach in my pocket and pull out good, cold, hard cash to give to someone who is willing to do the jobs that I am not.

I never plan on mowing a lawn again. You can explain to me that it’s good exercise, or there’s a sense of satisfaction when you complete the ordeal. I am ecstatic for you.

But somewhere there’s a young man who wants to go to college who can use my cash for his adventure—and all he has to do is trim my green.

I understand there may be some merit in knowing how to change your oil, fix your toilet or go into the wilderness and live off the land for three days.

But I do believe if I dug up my ancestors and they were suddenly given body and breath, they would tell me, “If you don’t have to dig, plant, hoe and harvest…go for it.”

I will never bitch to you.

I will never complain.

Because I will sit over here, really cushy, admiring you as you struggle.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Courteous

Courteous: (adj) polite, respectful, or considerate in manner.

I do not want to be cynical, but I have given up on the concept of trying to call out mankind’s better nature.

My voice is hoarse, my throat is raspy, and my mind is boggled from the many attempts.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

I think the approach needs to be different. Rather than trying to convince people that being courteous makes them excellent folk, what we should do is infuse into their awareness that being courteous keeps them from having to deal with bad shit.

For I will tell you—when you are self-centered and discourteous, you will inevitably offend someone and find yourself embroiled in an argument, feud or ongoing hassle.

These kinds of struggles take energy, time and close the door on the possibility of you being free of the interference of others because they offer their opinions openly about what an asshole you are.

Yes—take a moment and realize that being courteous is not the “noble path,” but rather, simply the opportunity to live a private, selfish life, where you don’t have to hear other folks explain to you why you should be more courteous.

So to sum it up in a nutshell:

Be nice

So you don’t have to pay the price

Of constantly being reminded of your vice.

  Donate Button


Subscribe to Jonathan’s Weekly Podcast

Good News and Better News

 

Cope

Cope: (v) to struggle or deal, especially on fairly even terms or with some degree of success

In an attempt to make ourselves look very noble, we end up creating scenarios which are often intolerable.

When the word “struggle” is introduced into the human mindset, the simplicity that life was intended to have is sacrificed to chase one little ball down the street because we fear there will never be another ball.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C
It could be one of our greater weaknesses.

Matter of fact, we love to watch movies and documentaries about human beings who struggle with their life circumstances. We tear up because we realize how courageous their efforts might seem.

Yet, often the bravest thing you do in your life is to stop struggling and find a place where you can rest your soul, and cope better.

Yes. It’s not so much “coping with” as it is “coping better.” To do so, you may find yourself needing to abandon foolish adventures which have already slapped you in the face so many times with disappointment that you’re nearly silly.

Life is not meant to be tough.

It sometimes appears that way because it isn’t fair. But when it isn’t fair, it doesn’t do any good to hang around and try to tear down the wall.

Instead, walk awhile–until you find a door or a window.


Donate Button


Subscribe to Jonathan’s Weekly Podcast

Good News and Better News

 

Consider

Consider: (v) to think carefully about something

A lily.

Let me consider this…

A carpenter who talks to his friends about considering lilies.

Certainly the more macho factions of our society might find this to be somewhat effeminate.

Liberals might think this statement, “consider the lily” is a sign of unannounced but obvious support for the LGBTQ community.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

But what the carpenter wanted everyone to consider was not the beauty of the lily, but how it grew.

So much talk. So much reasoning. So much discussion about growing.

Yet the assertion of this carpenter was that the lily was worth considering because it grew without struggle. It didn’t work hard or try to manipulate circumstances to its favor.

It found dirt, absorbed the available nutrients, waited for the rain to enrich it, and then it trusted that there was good stuff inside the seed to create a flower.

There are so many beautiful thoughts there that it would be difficult to focus on one over another. So let me not steer the wheel of your journey in comprehension.

After all, the carpenter had the best word to describe what we need to do if we want to understand how Earth, Mother Nature and even faith flourish.

He suggested: consider.

Donate Button


Mr. Kringle's Tales...26 Stories 'Til Christmas

(click the elephant to see what he’s reading!)


Subscribe to Jonathan’s Weekly Podcast

Good News and Better News

 

Commentary

Commentary: (n) an expression of opinions about an event or situation

I will now offer my commentary:

I have a small penis.

I bring this up to you without apology, biological explanation or some silly sidebar like, “Had no complaints…”

What is interesting about my statement, and makes this commentary worthy of publication, is that the little fella has done some amazing things.

He ended up fathering four children, and from them–not many complaints.

He has survived being in a bedroom with a woman without ridicule.

He has also seen that particular human female leave with a pleasured smile. (Basically, it had little to do with him, and was courtesy of other digits and doo-dads, but he will still take the credit.)

I suppose at one time in my life I would have been embarrassed by the size of my “unit” (that’s what people who feel they are well-endowed call it).

Or should I refer to it as my “package?” But if it is a package, I could send mine first-class reasonably. But call me crazy, I am too overjoyed with my life to complain about my wiener.

I would not want to be around people from the “pecker patrol,” who would stare at my small friend and find him to be disgracefully inadequate.

He has been dutiful. Every time my kidneys want to urinate, he shows up–often bright and early.

He has the good sense to stay out of neighborhoods where he does not belong.

And he’s remained clean and free of disease.

He’s a rather admirable chap.

And even though some of my family would be embarrassed at me talking about him in such a fashion, I think it’s time for us to get over the idea that men and women are going to hump their way to satisfaction because of the enormous size of the male dangling participle.

Making love is like everything else in life. It demands much more conversation than it does struggle.

Thus ends my commentary.

 

Donate Button

Subscribe to Jonathan’s Weekly Podcast

Good News and Better News