Compatible: (adj) two things able to exist or occur together without conflict.
I sat patiently listening to the young psychologist try to explain to those who had gathered for what had turned into a boring lecture about what it truly means to “be compatible.”
He was well-studied (which always guarantees a certain amount of error).
He said, “It is important for a couple to find the things they share in common and to celebrate their differences.”
I don’t know whether I was the only one in the room who thought, “Oh, my God, kill me before I ever have to be in that discussion.”
But the tepid response he received and the lack of questions let me know that the audience had moved far beyond this young man’s learning–into the actual world of doing.
Having a relationship with anyone or anything is certainly about being compatible. But it is foolish to over-complicate the scenario.
Simply stated.. do your plugs fit?
If it’s a romantic situation, it will be necessary to find out if you like each other’s lips, each other’s hands, each other’s genitals, each other’s odors, each other’s habits and each other’s…others.
There will be adjustments. After all, as in the case of plugs, two identical plugs do not hook up. They require different ends to their means.
So sexually, a woman does not have to be a dynamo, nor does a man need the largest penis in the Sahara Desert. They just have to find out how their plugs hook up and work on adaptors.
Likewise, how do your plugs hook up on finance? She spends, he’s thrifty. That is completely compatible as long as she has money that is hers and he doesn’t lament how she uses it.
How do your plugs hook up about raising kids? She’s a strong disciplinarian, he’s a wimp. So when there are wimpy issues, let him head the class. When the little turds need stronger language, let Mama do the job.
Over-complicating human relationships always makes us believe that we’re incompatible.
“Black people can’t be around white people. White people like organ music and black people like tambourines.” It is possible to play the tambourine with an organ, and it’s also historical to rock your organ out a little bit.
Compatible is not difficult: check your plugs. Wiggle them around. Find a way to make them fit.
Nothing on Earth is really natural–everything requires a bit of work.
Otherwise, we all would be perniciously lazy.