Closet

Closet: (n) a  wardrobe, especially one tall enough to walk into.

Coming out of the closet has become synonymous with revealing one’s sexual preference. Yet an earlier mention of the closet was offered by Jesus: a location for prayer.

He was concerned that people would pray in public to be heard, using flowery words and long sentences to make themselves appear
spiritual.

Jesus recommended a closet.

So when coming out of that closet after prayer, the power of the experience should be the energy offered and the optimism initiated. It was to be a place of reflection, empowerment, personal humility and discovery.

Much has been achieved by encouraging humans to come out of the closet, offering revelations on their personal status. No doubt about that.

But we are human. Ultimately our main concern is not whether someone is gay or straight, or whether they pray or not, but instead, if they’re going to be cooperative. It’s not the status of male or female, but instead, an evaluation on how well they are able to evolve. Also, it’s not if they are Christian, Muslim, Hindu or Jew, but rather, a determination about the comprehension on how Planet Earth really works.

So to some degree, we all need to come out of the closet–after a sweet time of contemplation, consideration and prayer.

And hopefully, when we do come from the closet, we will arrive to promote acceptance and unity with those around us.

If we do, then our time in the closet was well-spent.

If we don’t, we feed the suspicion in others that our choices are selfish and rude.

 

 

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Bedouin

Bedouin: (n) a nomadic Arab of the desert.Dictionary B

What is the difference between an Arab and a Jew?

It’s a question you are not allowed to ask in our day and age of politically correct diplomacy.

Even though there are many people in Israel who are white with blue eyes and blond hair, it is not the natural personification of a Jew.

The land was once a kingdom of Bedouins.

If you read the history of the Jewish race and that of the Muslims, you of course immediately find that they have a common father and a total disagreement over the issue of which son of Abraham should have predominance.

It is amazing to me that this rift between the Jews and the Muslims is viewed as a spiritual conflict, since there are so many sexual overtones to the story.

Abraham had Ishmael by Hagar.

Then he had Isaac by his wife, Sarah.

So immediately, the process is tainted by the introduction of the byproduct of genitals.

On top of that, it was decided that the Jews would become different from the Arabs by trimming off the tip of the penis, thus creating the circumcised and the uncircumcised.

So once again, we have a return to focus on the male sexual organ in determining Heavenly approval.

And then it is further complicated by who married who, who screwed who and whether they should have done that indiscretion in the first place.

So I guess the theory of Middle East politics and theology is that it doesn’t matter what you put in front of the grinder as long as your particular favored sausage comes out at the end.

 

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Beard

Beard: (n) a growth of hair on the chin and lower cheeks of a man’s face.Dictionary B

Call it an oversimplification, but I believe the three stages in the life of a man can be summed up as follows:

  1. Birth
  2. Arrogance
  3. Disproven.

The key to success in human life, wearing a male body, is to arrive at “disproven” with a sense of humor instead of disappointment.

So it was well after my birth, in my season of arrogance, that I decided I wanted to grow a beard. For the life of me I cannot remember what stimulated this notion, but understanding my mindset in that season, it had something to do with being sexy. Because being sexy in the arrogant period of macho life is Number 1 on the Top 5 of important goals.

Of course, you know the problem.

Each one of us is issued a body filled with genetic mishaps, and within that body are limitations. As it turned out, one of mine was the ability to grow a decent beard.

I should have suspected this since I don’t really need to shave every day and only do so to keep up with the “Bill Joneses.”

So since I don’t need to shave all the time, it’s highly unlikely that my face is going to suddenly sprout a bush.

And it didn’t.

It grew in various portions of acreage, leaving other areas deserted.

I was unable to grow any hair on my cheeks, so my beard made me look like I was trying to become a Jew instead of a gigolo.

I persisted.

I used eyebrow pencil to fill it in for a long time, before finally one day I looked in the mirror and pitied my poor efforts.

As it turns out, I can grow a mustache and a soul patch.

I call it a beard. This shall satisfy my need for arrogance as I continue on in my understanding of being disproven.

 

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Aspersions

Aspersions: (n) an attack on the reputation or integrity of someone or somethingdictionary with letter A

“He’s just a kid.”

I remember how I used to hate that statement, popped off by careless adults when they didn’t particularly favor some suggestion I made when I was much younger.

Such a cheap shot.

Even though holier books promote the notion that “out of the mouth of babes” come words of wisdom, we still contend that some accumulation of years is necessary to guarantee the validity of a thought.

It’s become the way we debate: we don’t consider an opinion. We don’t weigh the ideas based upon history and practicality.

  • We attack people.
  • We limit them by education.
  • We condemn them by age.
  • And we most certainly cubby-hole them by gender.

I remember one day, I was having a conversation with a couple of colleagues, and my young son, Jerrod, who was seven at the time, interrupted and voiced an insight. I could tell by looking at the faces of my friends that they not only were perturbed with the intrusion, but had already decided to ignore the little fella’s questioning.

They were further surprised when I stopped our dialogue, leaned down to him and said, “Now, what did you say?”

The fact was, his particular inquiry into what we were talking about was very powerful and important. But it was just easier for them to cast aspersions on him of immaturity because he was short and hadn’t had enough birthdays.

Let me say it out loud:

I don’t care if you’re conservative; I don’t care if you’re liberal.

If you’re Muslim, Christian, Jew, Hindu or any other faith, it is not significant to me.

I am not going to condemn you by association to organizations or cliques that are targets for my nasty tongue.

I will hear you out.

I will tell you where I agree.

I will tell you what I find curious.

And I also will inform you where I think your presentation is insensitive to history and impractical for humans.

Aspersions are the subterfuge we use to promote our prejudice and bigotry … while seeming to do it with wit instead of the whip.

 

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Ad nauseum

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Ad nauseum: (adv.) referring to something that has been done or repeated so often that it has become annoying or tiresome.

Perhaps it is overstated to say there are things which cause me to want to throw up. It IS a bit dramatic. But still, everyone reading this is aware of the sensation of feeling nauseous, and actually desiring to regurgitate to get it over with. There is a point when you’re sick, when getting the illness OUT of your being seems rather pleasant.

I, for one, have found several facets of our everyday life and social structure to be worthy of such expulsion. Might I give you a list?

1. Religion that is more concerned about religion than it is people. (Urp.)

2. Politicians who tout the importance of debate and never pass legislation to help anyone. (See me quickly run to the bathroom.)

3. Those people who preach the beauty of capitalism only because they’re getting richer and salting it away in a Cayman Island bank account. (Pepto-Bismol will not help.)

4. Individuals who insist they are no longer prejudiced as they perpetuate the bigotry of their parents into their everyday lives, only masking it slightly, as a subtle choice. (Where’s my bowl?)

5. Movies that are chock-full of fantasy or remakes of subjects that have been done so many times that the plots are threadbare. (Please shoot me and put me out of my misery.)

6. Piety in all of its forms–be it Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Scientology, Amish or Republican and Democrat. (Please just bring me some cold 7-Up and soda crackers)

I could make a longer list, but I think you get my point. What creates ad nauseum is when we continue to espouse ideas, beliefs or even platforms that offer no proof whatsoever as to their viability in human life. For some reason, we’re just supposed to bow our heads and mumble some words of consecration in honor of what is really a dead, stinky idea.

When you smell something rotten, it makes you sick. If you decide to hang around until the smell either becomes acceptable or you get used to it, it doesn’t mean that it stinks any less or that you’re not just as sick.

The best way to handle anything that upsets your stomach … is to stay away from it.

Adamant

Words from Dic(tionary)

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Adamant: (adj.) refusing to be persuaded or refusing to change one’s mind.

I’m not.

Adamant, that is.

I used to be. Adamant seems to be a “wrong of passage” by all young folks, who think that clinging to their opinions is the best way to be grown-up. Such foolishness is perpetuated by political parties which refuse to abandon arcane concepts for fear of coming across as flip-floppers. By the way–I AM a flip-flopper, and damn proud of it.

  • Flip-flopping has prevented me from doing ridiculous things–twice.
  • Flip-flopping has allowed me to include other members of the human race that I once disdained.
  • Flip-flopping has nurtured a sense of humor in me about my own attributes instead of turning me into  a tape recorder announcing my abilities.
  • Flip-flopping keeps me from being adamant.

There may be those who think there are cases when we need to be adamant in the attempt to preserve liberty, righteousness or independence. But since I don’t fear that liberty, righteousness or independence are ever in great danger, it is not required for me to pick up a gun, hurl an insult or even “stand fast for my cause” while ignoring the pursuit of truth.

It’s why I can’t be a Republican or a Democrat. They are both sure. I am not.

It’s why I have trouble sometimes being a Christian. They are convinced that Muslims, Jews and all the other believing sorts are erred, and therefore dangerously teetering on damnation.

This has certainly kept me from being a suicide bomber–too many of my own ideas have blown up in my face for me to blow up for any of my ideas.

I am not adamant.

Actually, I don’t even know why the word exists–and any time I hear someone use it, I quietly slip away, knowing deep in my heart that those who choose that profile must suffer the punishment for their inflexibility. And what is the punishment?

You end up stuck with what you are, with no reinforcements of wisdom coming your way.

Adamant is what our society calls “conviction.”

To me, it’s floating along on the Titanic in the middle of a chilly sea … oblivious to the icebergs.

Adamant

Words from Dic(tionary)

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Adamant: (adj.) refusing to be persuaded or refusing to change one’s mind.

I’m not.

Adamant, that is.

I used to be. Adamant seems to be a “wrong of passage” by all young folks, who think that clinging to their opinions is the best way to be grown-up. Such foolishness is perpetuated by political parties which refuse to abandon arcane concepts for fear of coming across as flip-floppers. By the way–I AM a flip-flopper, and damn proud of it.

  • Flip-flopping has prevented me from doing ridiculous things–twice.
  • Flip-flopping has allowed me to include other members of the human race that I once disdained.
  • Flip-flopping has nurtured a sense of humor in me about my own attributes instead of turning me into  a tape recorder announcing my abilities.
  • Flip-flopping keeps me from being adamant.

There may be those who think there are cases when we need to be adamant in the attempt to preserve liberty, righteousness or independence. But since I don’t fear that liberty, righteousness or independence are ever in great danger, it is not required for me to pick up a gun, hurl an insult or even “stand fast for my cause” while ignoring the pursuit of truth.

It’s why I can’t be a Republican or a Democrat. They are both sure. I am not.

It’s why I have trouble sometimes being a Christian. They are convinced that Muslims, Jews and all the other believing sorts are erred, and therefore dangerously teetering on damnation.

This has certainly kept me from being a suicide bomber–too many of my own ideas have blown up in my face for me to blow up for anything.

I am not adamant.

Actually, I don’t even know why the word exists–and any time I hear someone use it, I quietly slip away, knowing deep in my heart that those who choose that profile must suffer the punishment for their inflexibility. And what is the punishment?

You end up stuck with what you are, with no reinforcements of wisdom coming your way.

Adamant is what our society calls “conviction.”

To me, it’s floating along on the Titanic in the middle of a chilly sea … oblivious to the icebergs.