Cross

Cross: (n) the structure on which Jesus was executed.

Word has it the angels appeared at his birth.

There were doves flying about as he was baptized.

He certainly favored his time with children.

His whole message about life began with the word, “Happy.”

He wanted us to consider lilies.

He told stories about sparrows.

He fed five thousand people with bread and fish.

His hands possessed some healing.

It says that he wept.

He marveled.

He talked about seeds, planting, fishing.

He favored the second mile.

They claim he personally emptied a tomb—more than once.

People walked after they met him. They hadn’t done that before.

People could see after an encounter with him—some of them born blind.

He was moved with compassion.

And he had the ability of looking at the world around him and discerning how things work—without bitching.

Yet with all this symbolism—all this imagery—all this amazing storytelling, he is known for a cross.

Unfair.


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Crisis or Crises

Crisis or crises: (n) an upheaval or upheavals

Fear.

Calm.

Worry.

Anger.

Belligerence.

Surprise.

Freaked.

Cowardly.

Brave.

Humorous.

Serious.

Cheerful.

Pissed.

Relieved.

Unaware.

These are the reactions human beings select when something happens which they did not want to occur.

A crisis.

I listed the words because some of them will be considered praise-worthy and others, frowned upon as being foolish.

But what really destroys our souls, robs our faith, shatters our hope and shakes the foundation of our love are crises. This is when one unexpected attack is followed by another equally mysterious dilemma.

Now I will tell you, a lot of good folks can survive a crisis, though it may not be the best moment of their lives.

But the crises are what bring us down.

Why? Because deep in our hearts we were trained to believe that when the Christmas tree has no presents underneath, Santa Claus arrives.

If a tooth falls out of our heads, a fairy gives us money.

If we don’t have enough money for college, some family member or friend figures out a way to at least fund our first semester.

And if diagnosed with a fatal disease, Jesus will come and heal us.

Unfortunately, we are in no condition to survive the symmetry of the Earth, which is often invaded by chaos.

Tribulation haunts us. It is upheaval.

So whether it’s a crisis or crises, the only thing that allows us to soar above despair is accepting the fact that these intrusions will certainly come into our lives.

Santa Claus, fairies, rich uncles and even Jesus don’t always arrive on time.

Often the conflict requires us to endure, even to the end, so that we can experience a salvation from the trial.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

 


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Cripple

Cripple: (n) a person who is disabled or impaired in any way:

Webster considers the word “cripple” to be offensive.

I wonder if we have reached a point in our play-it-safe-society where, in trying to pursue what we might refer to as neutral language, we’ve actually ended up becoming more offensive by pointing out that this particular language which we now eschew is forbidden because the people it refers to are constantly perceived as underdogs.

Honestly, I never gave the first thought about someone in a wheelchair until I found myself in one.

I suppose I assumed that they were paralyzed, or perhaps had been so stricken by disease that they were unable to stand and walk.

Certainly, my training as a good Midwestern Christian let me know that such individuals required healing, and if Jesus were really here, he would quickly get them back on their feet.

But you see, what is really offensive is believing that because a person can’t walk, he or she is less than someone who can, and therefore we must be careful not to offend them with some misused term.

After all, there was a time when the word “retarded” to the average person meant exactly the same thing in exactly the same spirit as the word “challenged.”

Is it less vicious to call someone challenged than to call him or her retarded?

I don’t know and neither do you. We just follow the temporary whim of society’s need to imitate inclusion.

Then again, the “N word,” which is now considered to be abominable, was derived from the romance languages. For in Latin, the word “black” is “niger.” In Spanish, it is “negra.” Perhaps that’s where they came up with the “N word.”

What is offensive is a condescending belief that we must defend people because we have decided they are incapable of speaking for themselves. Is that not truly the most prejudiced thing that we can possibly do?

So if you come to see me and you want to find out what difficulty I’m having with my legs, you can relax.

Because crippled, weakened, impaired, challenged, hobbled or blessed all sound basically the same to me.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

 


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Crawl

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Crawl: (v) to move on the hands and knees

It is a story found in the Good Book. What makes that book good are the tales that enlighten us, inspire us and cause us to question our mediocre choices instead of covering them with the doctrine of grace.

She was a woman.

This particular lady in this specific story had been crippled for eighteen years. The passage has a detailed description of her problem—she was bowed over, couldn’t walk, and basically found herself uncomfortably situated in some sort of heap, lying on the ground.

Jesus comes upon her. She is some distance away from him, and the assumption is made by everyone in the room that he would walk over, talk to her for a few minutes, and then do some of his jim-dandy magic and heal her. But that’s not what he does.

He calls her to him.

Yes, he requests of this disabled, disheartened woman, that she make the journey across the room, pulling herself along on her arms, elbows and thighs—inch-by-inch making her way to his side.

Can you can imagine the reaction of the room? “This is gross. He’s making her crawl.”

The woman does not complain.

The prospect of being made whole, improved, or even just included was worth it.

She crawled to Jesus.

He did not make her do this because he was a son-of-a-bitch. He wasn’t trying to showcase his authority.

He was giving her a chance to be an intricate part of her own miracle. “Crawl over here and get your blessing.”

Even though each one of us may feel it is cruel or unusual, there are times that we cannot heal the psychological burden of our pain unless we feel as if we are making the crawl to our solution.

I have crawled.

I have made the crawl in joy.

I have crawled, knowing that without the crawl, I would not be able to overcome the anxiety in my soul.

After the crawl came the miracle.

Now…imagine that.

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Coworker

Coworker: (n) a fellow worker; colleague

Do you like funny statements?

I often find myself giggling over ideas that are presented as truthful, or at least positive, which have no basis in reality whatsoever.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

One that really tickles my funny bone is the notion that someone is “in charge.”

Helpless we arrive, dear friends, and helpless we live—and in between we do our best with what we’ve got.

So if you’re at a job somewhere and everyone’s jockeying to be the big boss, you might want to calm down and realize there are only two advantages in being the big boss. They are:

1. More money

2. More blame.

Wait—I guess that second one is not an advantage.

Because as long as you’re a co-worker, you can share the money with everyone else and also share the blame. But when you become the boss, the reason they give you extra dollars—if they do—is to prepare you for the realization that if things go badly, you are the one who will be holding the bag.

Life would be so much better if we stopped trying to boss each other around or act like we’re the boss of politics, or the boss of God, the boss of our families or the boss of our jobs.

The best bosses in the world act like coworkers.

Matter of fact, when you get right down to it, that is the message of the New Testament from the Bible. God got tired of being the boss and getting all the blame, so He came down to Earth as Jesus, to be a coworker with us, so we could share in the profits, but also evenly distribute the responsibility.


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Costar

Costar: (n) a performer, especially an actor or actress, who shares star billing with another.

That’s always been my problem with the concept of the Trinity.

Who gets the star billing?

After all, you have three characters who are supposed to be one, so trying to make any personality more important than the other might be shunning the funny wisdom on words that begin with a Csignificance of the others.

I suppose we think God should have top billing—and then Jesus would be the costar. And then they would do one of those things they do in movies with calligraphy, which reads, “And introducing The Holy Spirit!”

That’s probably the way Hollywood would do it. Hollywood believes whoever has the most money or can make the most money is the star.

But still, it’s hard for me to believe that in the Trinity, Jesus would be a costar. And since the Holy Spirit has hung around to do the clean-up work, we have to at least consider him (or is it her?) for significant placement in the credits.

And by the way, is there really such a thing as a costar?

We certainly would not want two suns. They’re stars, you know. Can you imagine them trying to outshine each other, and ending up burning us to a crisp?

Yeah, I have heard people say that in Hollywood: “Share the billing.”

I suppose it’s possible.

But there is one thing for certain. It cannot be denied.

You can’t be a costar in your own life.


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Cosby, Bill

Cosby, Bill: A twentieth-century comedian

“He used to be funny.”

I overheard someone make that comment. They were talking about Bill Cosby. They had decided he was no longer funny because he was convicted of sexual harassment and assault on women.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

I thought to myself, did that rob him of his humor? Are we the sub-total of everything we create and do? Or is our creative life separate from our personal life, which we live out based upon the dictates of our own conscience?

Would Abraham Lincoln be as well-liked for freeing the slaves if we knew he was assaulting women who worked at the White House?

What if we discovered that Mother Teresa was abusing little girls while simultaneously and almost single-handedly touching the lives of the lost souls of India?

Religious people certainly seemed pretty upset when they heard rumors that Jesus might have kissed Mary Magdalene on the mouth.

Although we know better, we think that people who do good deeds should also be morally impeccable. How does one achieve that?

And for that matter, how is it possible to look objectively at Bill Cosby without coming across as if you’re trying to defend his iniquity?

Should we burn all the Michael Jackson records because it appears, from the testimony of several sources, that he molested children?

Should Catholic priests be forbidden to be alone with altar boys and girls because the history of such encounters is filled with sexual perversion?

Am I prepared to have the deeds I do and the person I truly am merged into one being, which is evaluated in totality instead of broken into two categories—the me I wanted to be and the me I was?

I honestly would have no problem listening to a comedy routine from Bill Cosby. But I don’t think I could tolerate hearing him postulate on fatherhood and how to get kids to behave better. And I do believe many of the accolades he received for citizenship and the leadership awards should be retracted.

He was still funny.

It may be the only thing he’ll have left when he dies in a cage.


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