Charlatan

Charlatan: (n) a person falsely claiming to have a special knowledge or skill; a fraud.

Even though I don’t believe there’s any secret to life–otherwise God would be a nasty uncle playing a game of hide and seek so He can take a nap–I do believe there are markers along the way, telling us how to make this passage of Earth-Time much more plausible.

One of those gems is to make sure you never critique anyone unless you’ve already scoured yourself to uncover the same condition.

If you call somebody a fake, you’d better make sure you’re not faking something yourself.

If you refer to somebody as a liar, you might want to precede that with an honesty session and unburden yourself of all your half-truths.

And if you claim that someone is a charlatan, you should be fully aware that the false claims you place on your qualifications–the additional bullet points you may slip into a resume–might equally define you as being a charlatan also.

Here’s a powerful message: take aim at yourself first, and then see if you can help somebody else.

Dirty people with dirty hands who come across other dirty people and try to help them end up just transferring much of their dirt onto the person in need.

God forgive generations of ministers, politicians, businessmen, counselors, teachers and even parents who voraciously took on the job of correcting…except where it came to straightening their own path.

 

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Buffoon

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Buffoon: (n) a ridiculous but amusing person; a clown.

Even though clowns can be creepy, bizarre, outdated, corny and certainly over-dressed, they do offer us a warning:

“Everything that’s about to come out of my mouth is passing through excessive grease paint.”

It’s a good thing.

What is not a good thing is to be uncertain about when we are listening to a buffoon–attributing some value, intelligence or Dictionary Bweight to the words.

That’s completely unfair.

Sometimes it’s not enough to say, “I’m kidding” at the end of a nasty statement. (Like “LOL.”)

The thought comes to our minds, “Were they kidding, or just covering their butt by pretending it’s a joke, masking hidden animosity?”

I just feel it’s my responsibility to let you good readers know when I’m being a buffoon. It happens all the time.

I often choose to be a buffoon just because I’m nervous about the subject matter and don’t really know what I’m talking about. It’s just easier to joke than provide answers.

But I do want to put a request in to all politicians, ministers, Hollywood actors and school teachers. Please give us a heads up when you don’t really know what you’re talking about and there’s a high possibility what’s about to come forth just might be the ramblings of a buffoon.

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Brood

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Brood: (n/v) a family of animals, or to think too deeply

There are several ironies in life.Dictionary B

Well, more than several, but a couple come to mind.

The idea that politicians can actually be statesmen. (I don’t know if that’s ironic or just pathetic.)

A second irony is the assumption that religious leaders actually give a damn about human beings.

You can be accused of being a misfit by railing against organizations which have lost their mission and purpose. Matter of fact, Jesus of Nazareth was crucified for sedition. That means he objected vehemently to existing standards–to such an extent that those who promoted the agenda found a way to kill him.

Maybe it’s because he called them a “brood of vipers.” It would be difficult to take that back, wouldn’t it? You couldn’t exactly say, “You misunderstood. I like snakes.”

But when you take into consideration the double meaning of brood, that being “a clumping” and also “a downcast, sour outlook,” you have completely described organized religion.

Religion worships a God who insists He loves everyone while simultaneously being so pissed off at humanity that He establishes stringent rules and threatens damnation.

It is alarming that atheism does not thrive more in our species, considering the abuse we endure by embracing faith.

Jesus didn’t like the Pharisees.

He said they created burdens which they expected people to bear, while they were privately finding ways around lifting their share.

Many things come in broods:

  • Certainly vipers
  • Religionists
  • Politicians
  • And white collar criminals

I suppose you can have a brood of thieves, and no doubt, a brood of murderers.

But whenever a gathering of souls completes their meeting and the departing participants have a smug grimace, you have unearthed something venomous instead of healthy.

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Brat

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Brat: (n) a child, typically a badly behaved one

A brat is a child who has lazy parents.

There may be physiological or psychological reasons which cause a young person to be socially unacceptable, but those are rare.Dictionary B

A brat is just a child who has found out how far his parents will go before they surrender.

First of all you have to understand parenting. It is the narrow isthmus of thought existing between the mindset of Mother Theresa and the Marquis de Sade.

For if you’re too generous, your children will hug you–but then strangle you with their aberrant behavior.

If you’re too mean, they will end up in therapy, describing your atrocities to a roomful of astonished therapists.

It is truly a Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde scenario–where sometimes you must play the bad guy to actually be the good guy.

For a necessary “no” that slip-slides away into a greasy “yes” is what causes little ones to believe the world was created for their whim.

It is time for all good parents to be willing to be considered temporarily insane by their grumbling offspring so that these children can emerge from their “salad days” to be something better than our politicians.

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Botch

Botch (v) to carry out a task badly or carelessly.

Politicians could certainly learn a lot by reading the first six chapters of the Book of Genesis.Dictionary B

Because even though the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth certainly had enough status and power to insist that He was error free, within those six chapters, Almighty God admits He botched three things.

First of all, He created the Heavens and the Earth, but upon a closer look, realized that the planet was a real mess–misshapen and incapable of sustaining life. If His goal was to make creeping things, then the situation was already botched.

And later on, when He discovered how disgusting human beings could be, He regretted that He ever made them, and concluded He had botched the whole experiment by including Homo Sapiens.

Shortly after that, the God of the Universe has to repent because He killed all the people off in a fit of anger and realized the decision was overwrought.

So …

If God–who got the title because He was supposed to be mistake free–botches things, then who are we to think we can solve all of our problems with lies and duck tape?

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Blurt

Blurt: (v) to say something suddenly and without careful consideration.

Dictionary B

Children are dangerous because they tell the truth. (Well, at least as much truth as they know.)

You may be at a dinner party, and in front of all your guests, your eight-year-old son will describe the discoloration of your underwear.

They blurt.

They come right out with it and speak what they’ve seen and heard.

We have to teach them to be good liars. It doesn’t come naturally.

Matter of fact, the first time we ask them to exaggerate or avoid sharing a secret, they are suspicious and question us. We sheepishly explain that in some cases, it’s necessary to give half-truths so as not to hurt people’s feelings or keep the family’s business in the family house.

Adults don’t blurt.

For instance, if a politician blurts, it makes the news. We find it refreshing–and stupid at the same time.  I’m sure when you saw the word “blurt” you immediately thought something negative instead of positive.

We live a life of cautious calculation, carefully considering our choices–without contemplating candor.

 

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Bleep

Bleep: (n) a short high-pitched sound

Dictionary B

Often the solution is worse than the problem.

I listen in horror as commercials on television tell me the side effects of drugs that are meant to be helpful.

I frequently find myself with my mouth agape as I try to comprehend how politicians intend to take their limited “party view” and make it expansive enough for a diverse nation.

I am baffled by a church that insists that prayer in any form is a replacement for personal touch.

And I just cannot fathom why the censors on television believe that “bleeping” profane words actually eliminates their impact.

We children of Adam and Eve certainly can be pretentious. This is probably why Adam and Eve chose the Tree of Knowledge over the Tree of Life. We would much rather present ourselves as intelligent instead of possessing a hunger for the journey.

I do not know what we should do with the slang and colloquial profanities that permeate our society. But bleeping them does not lessen their obvious content–matter of fact, it creates a game, causing those who listen to speculate.

So somewhere along the line we need to work on the human heart, which is where all speech finds its birth.

Otherwise, we’re going to need someone to constantly follow us around, bleeping as we go.

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