Convenient

Convenient: (adj) at hand; easily accessible:

Although in the annals of literary history, he is considered to be one of the greatest villains of all time, Ebenezer Scrooge has a classic response to Bob Cratchit when his worker asks if it’s convenient to take Christmas Day off. In all candor, Scrooge spits back, “No, it’s not convenient to pick a man’s pocket.”

I, for one, have tip-toed my way around friends and family for years when asked if something was convenient or not, fearing I would come funny wisdom on words that begin with a Cacross Scrooge-like if I voiced my real opinion.

So this morning I will tell you five things that are not convenient:

  1. It is never convenient to be lied to, even if an apology follows. Mistrust lingers.
  2. It is never convenient for someone else to make an appointment for you simply because he or she thought it was “in your best interest.”
  3. It is not convenient to assume that as a Grandpa, you will attend every event at the school pertaining to your grandchildren, just because “you better, or you suck.”
  4. It is not convenient for the restaurant to run out of straws and napkins, but “they hope you’ll understand.”
  5. And finally, it is not convenient to be honked at in traffic simply because someone views him or herself as an aggressive driver on the way to an important meeting.

I shall add a sixth:

It is not convenient to listen to talking heads on television tell us that politicians just naturally run by different rules than us normal human beings.


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Alaska

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Words from Dictionary

Alaska: (n) the largest state in the U.S., located in northwestern North America, with coasts on the Arctic and North Pacific oceans, separated from the contiguous U.S. states by Canada, pop. 626,932, capital, Juneau.

How appropriate, on this Christmas Day, for the word “Alaska” to fall in my lap, since it is such a snowy, chilly locale, suitable for North Pole occupation and reindeer games.

Yes, I wonder if part of that 626,000 people located in that huge mass of popsicle might include elves and a saint who gives away toys.

I, personally, have not known a lot of people from Alaska. I did have a friend who moved there for a couple of years, because she heard that if you stayed there for 365 days, you would receive a check from the treasury, rewarding you for having the fortitude to live in the climate and maintain residency. I think she stayed for a couple of checks before she realized that having money in a warmer climate, although fewer dollars, was preferrable.

I would like to go up there sometime, but my penchant for wanting to drive everywhere would make for a long sleigh ride, and considering my size, I don’t know if I would be permitted to fly in one of those single-engine planes, land on a lake somewhere and boat my way to the gigs.

So I will just have to hope that the good folks of Alaska will realize my admiration for them and their perseverant attitude toward all things frozen, and allow me to stay warm below. I am more than willing to send a care package … something toasty, perhaps?