Convenient

Convenient: (adj) at hand; easily accessible:

Although in the annals of literary history, he is considered to be one of the greatest villains of all time, Ebenezer Scrooge has a classic response to Bob Cratchit when his worker asks if it’s convenient to take Christmas Day off. In all candor, Scrooge spits back, “No, it’s not convenient to pick a man’s pocket.”

I, for one, have tip-toed my way around friends and family for years when asked if something was convenient or not, fearing I would come funny wisdom on words that begin with a Cacross Scrooge-like if I voiced my real opinion.

So this morning I will tell you five things that are not convenient:

  1. It is never convenient to be lied to, even if an apology follows. Mistrust lingers.
  2. It is never convenient for someone else to make an appointment for you simply because he or she thought it was “in your best interest.”
  3. It is not convenient to assume that as a Grandpa, you will attend every event at the school pertaining to your grandchildren, just because “you better, or you suck.”
  4. It is not convenient for the restaurant to run out of straws and napkins, but “they hope you’ll understand.”
  5. And finally, it is not convenient to be honked at in traffic simply because someone views him or herself as an aggressive driver on the way to an important meeting.

I shall add a sixth:

It is not convenient to listen to talking heads on television tell us that politicians just naturally run by different rules than us normal human beings.


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Control

Control: (v) to dominate by giving direction

 It certainly doesn’t make me a genius, nor particularly insightful, to tell you that the greatest problem on Planet Earth is lying.

Once it begins, there is literally no possibility of anywhere to place trust.

You have to question everything. It is not only annoying, but impractical, because time does not allow us to cross-examine everyone we should be able to funny wisdom on words that begin with a Cbelieve.

Yet, rather than attacking lying, I would much rather point out where lying slips into our lives and trickles off our tongues. Basically, it occurs when we try to establish that we are in control—but circumstances contradict our assertion.

Once it becomes obvious that we are not in control, but instead, constantly need to evolve toward better choices, we can stop lying.

We can simply say, “Oops! I missed that one.”

But if we’re afraid we’ll lose status, value, importance or power by not touting our control, then we quickly draw out our lies and spill them, like poison.

It’s not really human.

This is why any reasonable philosophy requires the participants to be prepared to repent and change—or they will end up perishing in a lifestyle of deception.

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Confess

Confess: (v) to admit or state that one has committed a crime or is at fault in some way

I am fat.

At least 51% of this is my fault.

I am a recovering “liarholic.”

Please help me stay away from the booze of explanation.

I am self-piteous.

Not as much as I used to be. (Of course, adding that caveat expresses a little self-pity.)funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

I am egotistical.

But I have been careful to immerse myself in the beauty of humility to avoid the cesspool of humiliation.

I am still somewhat opinionated.

Yet I am generally able to avoid this vice by putting invisible duct tape over my mouth.

I am capable of judging people.

This one is especially dangerous, since I am incapable of being judged.

I am occasionally ungrateful…

As I learn to be grateful for every occasion.

I still catch myself complaining.

I am so relieved when I stop and my brain opens back up for business.

I am vulnerable to sin.

I do so much better when sin and I take different paths home.

I am learning to confess.

Word has it that such an endeavor is the only true doorway to healing.


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Compos Mentis

Compos mentis: (adj) having full control of one’s mind; sane.

In an attempt to control the populace, the forces of manipulation withhold wisdom from the people so they can force them to wallow in ignorance–but also call them stupid if they get out of control.

It is a very sad but true situation that those who should have our best intentions at heart are often overcome by greed and the pursuit of funny wisdom on words that begin with a Cabsolute power.

So it falls the responsibility of those who are deemed incompetent and worthless to meter their own activities, and maintain their own compos mentis.

Here are some things to look out for:

  1. You are insane if you think you’re better than anyone else.
  2. Your compos mentis is in question if you pursue revenge.
  3. Insanity is quickly proven by the practice of gossip instead of honest dialogue between offended parties
  4. You’re totally insane if you think men and women are so different that they cannot share the same space, position and equality
  5. You have lost your compos mentis if you think more about heaven than you do Earth
  6. Insanity is truly in place if you contend that lying is sometimes necessary to avoid conflict
  7. You want to make more than you’re able to work for–truly insane.

Keep these seven things in mind as you move forward into the murky, sticky environment created by those who wish to slow things down in order to establish their will.

 

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Component

Component: (n) a part or element of a larger whole

Bob thinks intelligence is the key. So he studies, but ends up being overbearing with his opinions. Therefore no one can stand him.

Reverend Thompson contends that prayer is the answer but generally speaking is so busy holding seminars on the issue that he misses manyfunny wisdom on words that begin with a C phone calls from those in need.

The man running for Congress insists that political maneuvering is the essential component for a successful run for office, but then discovers there is a lot of lying that accompanies such choreography.

The women’s rights organization feels it is necessary to diminish the role of men in order to gain air for their cause, and after all the arguments are done, they are quietly and privately referred to as “bitches” behind their backs.

On the other hand, the chauvinists are darned tootin’ certain that if we could get back to the “nuclear family,” everything would be all right, as they lead their nervous wives and frightened children into the next over-planned activity.

Everybody thinks they have the component to make our society run more smoothly. Even though I see great worth in many of these efforts, I have found that the best piece to bring to the puzzle–the component that always seems to be needed for any occasion–is a simple splash and dousing of good cheer.

 

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CIA

CIA: (n) Central Intelligence Agency

It makes for good television. I suppose a movie or two has sprouted from the subject matter.

Yet having an independent organization set aside in our government for the purpose of spying, deceiving and maybe even doing illegal crap
around the world is not comforting to my soul.

I know I live in a society that tolerates some evil as long as it produces our good. Matter of fact, we don’t even call it evil unless it detracts from us.

But even though I would do nothing to stand in the way of the CIA, I am not terribly interested in knowing all the details of the subterfuge. Honestly, I feel my mission is attempting to make cheating and lying a little bit less necessary–at least in my own surroundings.

So I can be a good American by shutting my mouth and allowing the CIA to “see its way.”

 

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Charade

Charade: (n) an absurd pretense intended to create a pleasant or respectable appearance.

When the hair started thinning, I grew it out longer and tried to comb it over the top of my crown, but didn’t fool anyone.

When it was obvious that I was not going to go to college because my third child was born, I developed patter to explain my education at
fictitious universities.

I often exaggerated my potency when in the presence of female friends so as to appear one of the great bulls in the herd.

When I was younger, I found reasons why people who were better than me were actually just hiding their inefficiency and sin.

I lied to get out of predicaments and then, when that seemed to work, sometimes I lied just to make myself look superior.

I pretended to like people because they had money or position.

I pretended to dislike people because they didn’t.

I went through the motions of religious shenanigans, trying to convince those around me that I was truly committed.

I pretended to be smart when I was dumb and equally put on the charade of being dumb when I knew more than I pretended.

I’ve never been good at charades.

Too many motions and gestures around people who just don’t get it.

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