Decouple

Decouple: (v) to cause to become separated; uncouple

I am always ready to consider a new name for an old idea.

Sometimes it’s just healthy.

For instance, I wouldn’t mind if we changed the word “sin” to “oopser.” It’s cute and devoid of condemnation.

Lying certainly is in line to receive a new identity.

We’re already working on it with “misspoken” and “misheard.” But I think we can do better than that. Instead of referring to it as lying, we could just call it envisioning. There you go. That would feel so much better.

And since the words “break-up” and “divorce” can sound quite foul, especially in unfriendly company, it’s a damn good time to come up with “decouple.” And leave it to Hollywood to take the forefront on this ingenious evolution. Yes, young couples in Southern California now “decouple” instead of bust apart.

Actually, it has a bit of a seductive tone to it, which hangs in the air for a moment after it’s spoken, and we imagine people disengaging from one another—slowly separating their parts to individual identities.

“Decoupled” works.

We will do nearly anything to prove that we did not make a mistake.

And if we can cause a divorce to seem like the careful breaking apart of an Oreo, to share with a friend, then so much the better.

Yet, I don’t know if you can call exploding the romance between two people–which begins with them clawing at each other, then breathlessly panting on a bed–as a decoupling.

But hats off to those who wish to try.

There you go–maybe that would be a better phrase.

“My wife and I have decided from this point on, to be hats off.

Cop-out

Cop-out: (n) act or instance of copping out; reneging; evasion

I would like you to join me today in the world of make-believe. It is a place where balloons never lose their air, marshmallows always toast brown instead of black and gumdrops won’t stick together.

It shouldn’t be a realm of make-believe, but because we live in a time when political speak, campaign language and Washingtonian wording has gained predominance, the common man, woman and child have begun to believe they can talk themselves out of anything.

It is becoming more and more usual for people to offer excuses, explanations or pathos than to simply answer a question.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Our new heroes are those we say we despise—because politicians and lawyers always register near the bottom on the list of favored occupations.

Yet when confronted with the simple question, “Did you do this?” almost every American citizen, and dare I say, perhaps worldwide, begins to launch into a story, as if taken over by the spirit of Stephen King.

There was a time when we used to believe that elaborating on our failures to try to make them look better was a cop-out.

We hated cop-outs.

We despised excuses for foolish mistakes.

Now we anticipate it. When someone is asked, “Did you eat the last Oreo?” we brace ourselves to hear a three-part series, with a potential sequel to follow half-an-hour later.

It has become acceptable to offer the cop-out, even though we continue to roll our eyes and absolutely reject anyone who does it.

The answer to the question is, “Yes, I ate the last Oreo.” Or, “No, I didn’t.”

None of us need to know the story line of the Oreo, how much it means to you to eat one, or how you are innocent because you were unaware that it was the last one available.

In my opinion, coping out should be so illegal that you should be able to call a cop when you hear it.


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