Contentious: (adj) containing argument or strife
There is no human being who is mature enough to recognize differences with another human being without setting up the arena for disagreement and fighting.
We think we are so damn open-minded, when what we really are is insecure enough that if we don’t surround ourselves with those who uplift our flag of opinion, we will soon, in a warlike fashion, start looking for enemies to emotionally punch.
The only way to avoid contention is to seek all things in common, so that when variations of thought rise to the surface, it is unusual rather than expected.
Otherwise, a Baptist having lunch with a Catholic is prepared to play Bible superiority. A Republican going to a movie with a Democrat is already determining that his or her opinion must differ—otherwise, what’s the sense of being Republican? And men and women, who certainly find joy and pleasure in one another, are prodded by the entertainment industry and countless books, to find occasions to be at odds.
It is very difficult to be contentious with someone who agrees with you.
So, if you set out to find points of commonality and humanity, then, whether you think there should be a pipeline running through the middle of the country or not, it has much less possibility of turning into a bloody war of mayhem.