Deejay

Deejay: (n) short for disc jockey

I wrote and performed Christian music.

This created a problem. Most of the small-town thinkers in my hometown village did not believe I was a Christian. For you see, my wife and I had a baby born before the allotted nine months after our marriage.

We were also kind of dead-beats.

Because we wanted to pursue music, we had turned our backs on normal employment, had become unpredictable and, shall we say, risky as potential renters or borrowers.

My little burg did not like me—and I didn’t like it much, either.

All day long, and most of the week, I heard people telling me that either I wasn’t talented enough to make it in music, or if I was going to make it in music, God could find me “on my job” and set it all in motion.

I just didn’t believe that.

This brought about a situation where I had very few friends, so it was necessary that I nurture each and every one of them.

An unexpected buddy was a deejay named Jim. He was one of the more popular personalities at the local Christian radio station, which did amazingly good business considering that it was religious.

Jim liked me.

I don’t know why—I was afraid to ask him.

More importantly, Jim liked me even when other people were around who didn’t like me. Occasionally these people would speak up, voicing their opinions about me in front of him (and also in front of me).

Jim always listened carefully.

He gave them full respect and attention.

And when they concluded their little speech by saying that “I wasn’t going to amount to anything,” he patted them on the shoulder and replied, “Won’t you be surprised if that’s not the way it works out?”

Usually the person shook his or her head and stomped off, convinced of my ultimate destruction.

Then one day, it just happened.

It’s one of those things you don’t plan for. (You should prepare for it, but you don’t.)

One of the most famous groups in America decided to record a song of mine. They not only decided—they did. Suddenly, my tune was being played on radio, all over America.

Jim’s radio, too.

On top of that, the notoriety I received for signing the song with this group opened doors for me to get a contract with my group, to record an album in Nashville.

Jim was my hero.

Of course, other people suddenly discovered that they didn’t hate me.

But the amazing part of the whole story is that when Jim saw other folks coming to my side and supporting me, he kind of drifted to the rear.

I wanted to ask him about it, but then it occurred to me that perhaps this was just Jim’s calling.

He found the person that nobody liked and offered love, hoping that the unloved soul would get a chance.

Jim was and still is my favorite deejay.

He seems to have a gift to say the right words as he plays the good tunes.

 

Croak

Croak: (slang) to die.

There is a general reluctance among the populace to admit to things deemed frailties.

I believe lots of individuals would cautiously, but freely, be tagged as “sex addicts.” Or if someone attributed the fault of “over-talented” to them, they would sheepishly hang their head but allow the assertion to remain unchallenged.

Yet I suspect a good number of human beings would be offended to accept the term “hypochondriac” if attributed to them.

Even when you’re in the presence of an admitted hypochondriac, he or she will insist that you are ill-informed and have not read up on their mysterious, unknown or unproven condition.

So I am going to step out and tell you that for most of my life I have battled being a hypochondriac.

From the time I was a nine-year-old boy, frightened to go to sleep because I thought I might swallow my tongue, to my early twenties, when I was trying to stay awake driving, and overdosed on the caffeine in No-Doze, and had to go to the hospital because I thought I was having a heart attack, to any myriad of symptoms that might stumble my way, I am frighteningly susceptible to dwelling on them longer than they deserve.

As a father of young sons, I occasionally yelled at my children for getting colds—not because I was concerned about the pain they were experiencing or the discomfort of runny noses. No, I was just pissed because I was afraid I would get their cold, too.

I am not happy to report this to you, but if you spend all of your life wondering when you’re going to croak, then, in that brief season when it actually happens, you will be quite disappointed that you squandered the non-dying time.

I realize this.

I never thought I would live as long as I have.

So rather than wondering whether I’m going to live a lot longer, I have chosen to believe that I’m on borrowed time. In other words, “playing with house money.”

This makes me happy.

Because as exciting as it is to be alive, there is an extra thrill in knowing that by the grace of God, you’re cheating death.

 

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

 


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Conjugal

Conjugal: (adj) relating to marriage or the relationship of a married couple

I got stuck on a panel, discussing sexuality and marriage.

After a considerable amount of back-and-forth sharing of statistics and anecdotes, the forum deteriorated into a deliberation over whether “two is enough and is six too many?”

How many times per week should a healthy married couple have sex?funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Here’s the real answer: married people should have a conjugal visit with one another when they’re horny.

Otherwise, one person is standing at a slight distance pouting, wondering if the other person loves them, since “touchy-feely” hasn’t happened within the past seventy-two hours. Yet there was a time when the two couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

If “horny” does not rule the day on human sexuality, and it isn’t stimulated by the great respect and admiration you feel for your partner, and how you kind of feel like a conqueror, to be able to ravage this extremely talented individual, then you will be setting up a schedule to take vitamins.

And as in the case of taking vitamins, you will decide that you do feel a little better since you started swallowing your medicine.

 


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Blare

Blare: (v) to make a loud, harsh sound.

Dictionary B

I met Sammy at a music festival.

She was unusual, and not just because her name was Sammy. She was flamboyant, but in that way that was pleasing and attractive.

She had great energy.

She was talented.

She was conversational.

Yet she found herself desperate for human contact. No one wanted to be around Sammy because when she spoke, she was so loud.

The word “brash” was associated with her, and of course, lots of folks accused her of “blaring.”

There are times that even I grew weary of her voluminous responses, wishing she would tone down. After a while, the sound was so intense that my ears had to slow down the flow so my brain could understand.

But I persisted because she was well worth the effort.

Sammy invited me over to a family gathering.

I arrived at the small, two-bedroom house, which was completely encompassed with at least 25 people.

They were all loud.

Matter of fact, they made Sammy appear to be the timid mouse. I realized that she had learned to project her voice just to be heard in this environment and not be left out at dinnertime from the baked potato distribution.

It was such a great lesson for me.

Now, when I run across people who blare at me, I realize that they’re possibly frightened that nobody will hear them without the implementation of multiple decibels.

Life is not as complicated as we make it out to be. Everyone who gains our disapproval has a story–a tale which needs to be understood.

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Backstage

Backstage: (n) the area in a theater out of view of the audience, especially in the wings or dressing rooms.Dictionary B

Everyone who ends up onstage has to spend some time backstage.

Matter of fact, you may feel that you’re cursed to that arena, never to gain spotlight.

But I have been backstage many times in my life, and I will tell you, there was never one single occasion when I failed to learn something.

I went through a season when I warmed up the audience for national acts, who were much more famous and adept at the art form than me. So being backstage was a mingling of realizing that no one in the large audience knew who I was–or cared, for that matter–and that if I was to gain any traction whatsoever, I would be required to arrive with my running shoes.

I’ve also been backstage during talent competitions when it was obvious that the person performing center-stage before me was equally talented, or even more blessed, and I needed to refuse to criticize them, but instead, just give my best.

Backstage is where we learn to listen and prepare instead of perform and mug for the audience.

It’s where we take inventory of what we are about to do and eliminate foolish choices.

It is the location for the introspection that causes us to become viable to those around us instead of just becoming jealous no-talents.

 

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