Tag Archives: fall

Defective

Defective: (adj) having a defect or flaw; faulty

 Ever since I fell in my house a couple of months ago, I have sprouted a defect which makes me suspect.

I really don’t want to talk about it.

It makes me feel weak.

It makes me too vulnerable.

But falling in my house and not being able to get up without assistance from the fire department was not only humiliating but left me feeling insipid and beholding.

The actual experience was inspirational.

But something can be totally inspirational and still leave you wishing and hoping that it never happens again.

For instance, I would love to be raised from the dead but would not welcome the circumstances to roll around again.

I’ve gotten strange over the past few days.

When I close my eyes, I don’t feel like I’m in my house. And because I’ve traveled so much, my mind is transporting me to other locations, and if there’s a television show in the background, I actually envision a completely different décor.

Oddest of all was a dream I had last night, where I envisioned myself into the living space of Justin and Angel, in China—where I’ve never been before. But I would have sworn I was there, living it up with them.

It would all seem rather bizarre if it weren’t for the imagination that exists in me as a writer—for I am constantly conjuring scenes in my mind to coincide with a story I’m hatching.

But I have to admit, this particular rendition is unusual—right down to the coloration of bed covers and the texture of vinyl shades.

If you hear of me passing on to the Great Beyond, you might mark in your mind that some of these things may not have been mere coincidence—but rather, a warning of a defect leaving me defective.

If, on the other hand, there doesn’t seem to be any lasting difficulty, you can state what you have often stated:

“Weird.”

Bough

Bough: (n) main branch of a tree.

I grew up as a fat boy in a season when the word “obese” was never used, but instead, I was viewed as “pleasingly plump.”Dictionary B

It never even occurred to me to lose weight.

There was sufficient ridicule to warrant such a maneuver, but I was always told that the ones who critiqued my girth were just “jealous about how strong I was.”

There are disadvantages in being a rotund ten-year-old. One of those was the fact that climbing a tree was a Herculean feat. There was certainly a lot of butt to get up the bark.

And then, to my disappointment, while ascending an elm tree I discovered that sitting on the first bough caused it to crack, break and I tumbled to earth. It is embarrassing to be snubbed by a member of the forest.

So I was delighted when I came upon a large oak tree with low-hanging boughs, making it easy for me to ascend–thick and strong enough to hold the weight of my backside.

I was so enthralled with the accomplishment that I invited all my friends to come and climb this oak tree with me. Unfortunately, when my other friends climbed up and sat on the first bough and I ascended to join them, my weight mingled with theirs, broke it–and I was therefore blamed for the “snappage.”

I do love boughs.

But I also understand that “when the bough breaks” … the big boy will fall.

 

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Albany

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Albany: (n) the capital of New York, in the eastern part of the state, on the western bank of the Hudson River, pop. 93,658.

I think it was about three years ago.

My son and daughter-in-law were looking to make a fresh start in their film career by moving to some area of the country they had not been before, bouncing off of a very successful adventure in our home town.

There were some brief discussions about landing spots, but my daughter-in-law quickly settled for Upper State New York–specifically Albany.

I was familiar with Upper State and summarized to her my experience, using two examples. I told her that Albany offered a pair of possibilities–briefly beautiful in spring and fall, and uncontrollably cold the rest of the time.

They didn’t care.

They popped up to the capital city of the Empire State and within a few weeks were making a brand-new movie, called And See All the People. They took full advantage of an army of new volunteers and made immense, creative use of the gorgeous countryside.

Now in their third year, they’ve established a bit of a dynasty in the region and continue to astound folks with their prowess and determination.

So when I think of Albany, I think of my son and daughter-in-law, and I’m grateful for a world that allows younger folks to take their new-fangled ideas to ancient places and start amazing kingdoms.

It makes you glad to be in America.

For only in this country can we pull up stakes, proclaim our dreams and set them in motion … without fear of too much interference or ridicule.

 

Akimbo

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Akimbo: (adv) with limbs flung out widely or haphazardly. e.g.: she fell on the ice, arms and legs akimbo

It happens from time to time.

I think it’s because some people come into a motel room and use the shower for oil treatments, hair coloring or perhaps they have particularly slippery shampoos or conditioners. I’m not sure.

But you will occasionally come across a porcelain surface in a shower stall that is so slippery that you will suddenly find yourself sliding in every direction as you grope for the wall, only to discover that these tiles are equally as slippery–lending itself to the possibility of an uncontrolled sprawl.

The danger here is simple. If you try to correct your tumble too quickly, you actually increase the possibility of ending up akimbo, with parts of your legs and arms broken in the process. After all, usually people don’t really get hurt during a fall. Most of the time we suffer the damage by attempting to correct the spill–inaccurately.

This happened to me recently in one of those shower situations, as I began to slide in four different directions, incapable of handling more than two. My blood pressure shot up, fear gripped my soul and I had the instinct to try to rectify my situation quickly.

But I didn’t.

Instead, I allowed myself to slide to a position where I ceased to fall uncontrollably. I froze for a moment, regaining my wits, and then found a way to simply lean back and land with a safe bounce on my ass.

It was beautiful. It was wonderful. It was controlled. It was creative. It kept me from asking parts of my body that were not suited towards weird angles to restructure their joints and ligaments.

Because even though I may never use the word “akimbo” ever again, I do understand that arms and legs were never meant to be asses.

The ass learned a long time ago that it has a calling in a crisis–to handle all the crap.