Tag Archives: pleasingly plump

Bough

Bough: (n) main branch of a tree.

I grew up as a fat boy in a season when the word “obese” was never used, but instead, I was viewed as “pleasingly plump.”Dictionary B

It never even occurred to me to lose weight.

There was sufficient ridicule to warrant such a maneuver, but I was always told that the ones who critiqued my girth were just “jealous about how strong I was.”

There are disadvantages in being a rotund ten-year-old. One of those was the fact that climbing a tree was a Herculean feat. There was certainly a lot of butt to get up the bark.

And then, to my disappointment, while ascending an elm tree I discovered that sitting on the first bough caused it to crack, break and I tumbled to earth. It is embarrassing to be snubbed by a member of the forest.

So I was delighted when I came upon a large oak tree with low-hanging boughs, making it easy for me to ascend–thick and strong enough to hold the weight of my backside.

I was so enthralled with the accomplishment that I invited all my friends to come and climb this oak tree with me. Unfortunately, when my other friends climbed up and sat on the first bough and I ascended to join them, my weight mingled with theirs, broke it–and I was therefore blamed for the “snappage.”

I do love boughs.

But I also understand that “when the bough breaks” … the big boy will fall.

 

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Bony

Bony (adj) of or like bone.

I was born in the wrong century.Dictionary B

I should have been born during the Renaissance, when I could have been a renegade artist whose obesity would have been considered a sign of prosperity instead of weakness.

Yes, in the good old days, when people were struggling to get food, having a paunchy middle caused those around you to be envious of your luxurious calorie intake.

Nowadays, the human race actually prefers a controlled anorexia–even though I do not know what that would be, since the condition means that someone has lost control of their body.

We like people just short of bony–but also far away from plump. (By the way, we have removed the word “pleasingly.”)

I will admit that being overweight is a health hazard. I am not suggesting that people should literally “eat their heart out.” But we must also realize that “skin and bones” leaves the human body deprived of the nutrients to sustain well-being.

What’s the answer?

Gosh, I don’t know.

I guess we do the best we can with what we have, hoping to keep just enough flesh that no one has “a bone to pick with us.”

 

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