Words from Dic(tionary)

Agnew, Spiro (1918-96): U.S. politician, he served as Richard Nixon’s vice president from 1969-73 but was forced to resign because of corruption charges against him that stemmed from his time as governor of Maryland 1967-69.

Most of the people around me who are under the age of forty have never perched themselves in an outhouse.

I have.

And the funny thing about an outhouse is that even though it is set apart from the regular home and requires that someone go down “the path less taken,” you always know when you’re near one. Matter of fact, rarely do you even have to ask for directions–unless you have nasal congestion.

It stinks.

And you know you’ve stayed in one too long when you cease to find it repulsive.

So when I see the name Spiro Agnew, that’s what I think about. As we look back, using the great hindsight of history, it is absolutely amazing that no one noticed what an outhouse the Nixon Administration, considering all the turds that surrounded it.

It just stunk.

They were arrogant, they were self-righteous, they were filled with the notion of their own mission and goodness, and it was ridiculous to connote that the man who selected the team was any different from his worst members.

Spiro Agnew always had the look on his face–as if he had swallowed a parakeet and you had just walked in the room and caught him. Yet he had no intention of divulging his action.

I guess that’s what the phrase, “by their fruits you shall know them” actually means. It’s not so much that we need to judge people–we just need to be intelligent enough to “take a whiff.”