by J. R. Practix

Abreast: (adv.): 1. side by side and facing the same way: the path was wide enough for two people to walk abreast 2. alongside or even with something: the car came abreast of the idling motorcycle.

I am taking a moment here to get all of my fourth-grade male giggles out of my system so I can talk rationally about the word “abreast.” I don’t need to bore you or cause you to lose respect for me by sharing some of the jokes that came to my mind when I first encountered today’s word. Let us just say that there is a small child who lives within me, and even though I try to starve him, he scrounges for scraps and survives.

But the word “abreast” struck me today–from a more mature place in my soul–as the description of the equality we desire in our human family and relationships.

But the teeter-totter approach to gaining equality, where for a brief season we extol one group of people as better than others, to try to even the playground, only to rush over and put more weight on the other side in an attempt to keep the game going,  seems not only to be ridiculous, but counter-intuitive with being abreast–side by side.

I don’t know–maybe black people who had been snatched from Africa might have found the experience tolerable if every day their white counterparts were sweating in the field right next to them, picking cotton, instead of sitting in the big house sipping mint juleps.

Is it possible that men and women would discover more similarities in their character if they actually did more things together?

It is going to be difficult to achieve equality in our world until we come to the conclusion that we were meant to be abreast–right next to each other, involved in the same projects without discrimination.

The same spirit that is deemed repugnant when a man says, “The little woman needs to be in the kitchen rattling the pots and pans…” is equally as nasty when the overwrought female on the situation comedy informs her husband, “You’d be a helluva lot happier if you’d just do what I told you.”

One is viewed as misogyny and the other as comedy. Why can’t they both just be stupid?

I am not interested in anyone being inferior to me, nor will I tolerate their superiority.

Come abreast–if you can stop your fourth-grade brain from giggling.