Tag Archives: antenna

Cell phone

Cell phone: (n) short for cellular phone.

Heaven is reserved for those who are not spooked into proclaiming the party line.

It is a good thing to be positive. It is a bad thing to lie. If we could get that straight, we might be able to make progress.

Case in point: there is nothing more handy than a cell phone. If you need to call someone, you don’t need to pull your car over, find a phone booth and hope you have enough change. (Matter of fact, nearly 40% of the population might not even know what a phone booth is.) You also don’t have to wait for people to call you back because they’re not home.

But to ever present the idea that cell phones are preferable in quality and durability to the original home phone is ridiculous.

They actually remind me of the walkie talkies I was given at Christmas when I was twelve. When I was in range, the antenna was pointed just right and the weather was good, my walkie talkies were amazing. Any variance to these conditions created everything from crackling to no service.

Cell phones make it hard to hear, difficult to speak on and unpredictable. Giving them cute names and coming out with the next derivation of the previous inadequate model does not alleviate the problem.

So is it possible to be grateful for the object provided, yet practical on its actual application?

If you’re able to do that, cell phones are magnificent.

If not, you keep hoping that the next number they create will suddenly be reliable.

 

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Antenna

dictionary with letter A

Antenna: (n) 1. a rod or wire used to transmit or receive radio or television signals 2. a pair of thin sensory appendages on the heads of insects

A thirteen-inch black and white portable television purchased for $29.95 at a store called Buckeye Mart.

It’s all we could afford.

I was recently married, had a child, and poverty was our constant friend.

So we took the little TV set to our home, hooked it up, and attached this circular antenna, which looked like a huge paper clip, turned on the set, and got basically a snow-covered screen with a faint picture in the background.

So I fiddled with the antenna.

What I discovered was that every time I put my hand on the antenna, the picture would get better. If I removed my hand from the antenna, we went back to the snowstorm.

It was annoying.

So then I tried to dangle a coat hanger from a nearby table, lying it delicately on top of the previous antenna, hoping it would simulate the same effect as my hand.

It didn’t.

Now, my son was nearly two years old. At that age, they are still intent on pleasing their daddy. Please understand, I’m not proud of what I did–perhaps even a little reluctant to share it with you. But there was a football game I wanted to see, so I convinced my little son that he could build up muscle and prove what a man he was if he would hold up the antenna for Daddy.

Even though it did make the picture better, his constant whining and need for approval greatly deterred from my enjoyment of the game.

Finally, with his arm aching and a tear running down his cheek from obvious strain and pain, I became convicted of my selfishness and allowed him to go off in the other room and play.

Antennas are wonderful things. They allow us to connect with the outside world. But sometimes, when they don’t work, they are an aggravating reminder of the realization that things are not always what they’re advertised to be. 

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