Tag Archives: fat chance

Abnormal

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abnormal: adj. deviating from what is normal or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable or worrying.
So I have spent my life worrying people. I felt it was my job.

  • I worried my kindergarten teacher by coloring outside the lines. she felt it warranted a meeting with my parents.
  • I worried my high school football coach by choosing music over linebacking.
  • I worried my wife by flying out to Arizona to “rescue” her from her parents’ disapproval of me.
  • I worried people in the music industry by refusing to conform to trends, but rather, pursuing the melody in my heart.
  • I worried the political system by turning down the invitations to all of their parties.
  • I worried the religious system by believing in God without reciting all the prescribed words.
  • I worried my doctor by creating a scenario of longevity, wherein I have only a “fat chance.”
  •  I worried my family by continuing to faithfully execute my talent in a world which seems to be negating the need for gathering and fellowshipping.
  • I really don’t see the sense in living your life if you don’t worry those people around you who are content with mediocrity.

The truth of the matter is, there is nothing we regale, worship or believe in today that was not, at one time, abnormal.
Of course, some abnormalities need to be confronted and changed.

For instance, the idea that elected officials from varying corners of the country can come together and pass constructive laws …

Abnormal

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abnormal: adj. deviating from what is normal or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable or worrying.
So I have spent my life worrying people. I felt it was my job.

I worried my kindergarten teacher by coloring outside the lines. she felt it warranted a meeting with my parents.
I worried my high school football coach by choosing music over linebacking.
I worried my wife by flying out to Arizona to “rescue” her from her parents’ disapproval of me.
I worried people in the music industry by refusing to conform to trends, but rather, pursuing the melody in my heart.
I worried the political system by turning down the invitations to all of their parties.
I worried the religious system by believing in God without reciting all the prescribed words.
I worried my doctor by creating a scenario of longevity, wherein I have only a “fat chance.”
I worried my family by continuing to faithfully execute my talent in a world which seems to be negating the need for gathering and fellowshipping.

I really don’t see the sense in living your life if you don’t worry those people around you who are content with mediocrity. The truth of the matter is, there is nothing we regale, worship or believe in today that was not, at one time, abnormal.
Of course, some abnormalities need to be confronted and changed. For instance, the idea that elected officials from varying corners of the country can come together and pass constructive laws …

 

Abase

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abase: v. to behave in a way so as to belittle or degrade someone.

By the way, abase is not to slide into second on your face. I just wanted to make that clear. When I read the definition, what struck me is that “abase,” “abasing” or the action of “abasement” is considered by Old Dic to be negative.

It’s something we do to other people. I would welcome it if someone could actually and legitimately belittle me.  Fat chance.

It’s rather interesting that the Bible suggests that we learn how to be abased. How does one learn the correct procedure to be degraded? You look like a real doormat if somebody puts you down and you go, “Oh! Good one!”

It’s really stupid to anticipate rejection and be flinching in the presence of others because you are prepared for them to them to swallow up all the air your ego needs to breathe. The only thing I found successful is to point out one’s own flaws, weaknesses, quirks and oddities before other people have a chance to enjoy picking the bones on your carcass. To do this, you have to have an excellent sense of self and appreciation for the parts of you that contribute in a positive way to human life. Then you can detach those portions of your personality that have decayed and are about ready to fall off.

I guess it’s hard to go into the a-base-ment when you  haven’t really enjoyed your own living room. It’s damp down there in the a-base-ment. It smells like what you think would be the odor if a book farted.

Disgusting, huh?

So it’s not recommended for anyone to be thrown down into the cellar unless you know how to ascend  the stairs with a good sense of humor and warm yourself by the fires of your own contentment. I don’t like to ridicule people. The ones who fight back are too mean and the ones who don’t are too pitiful. I don’t like to belittle anyone. I learned a long time ago–there’s always someone better than me, and having played football for a season or two and sharing a locker room with other men, i can tell you of a certainty–we are not all created equal.

Abase is something I must do to myself in a comedic way to make certain that it’s always my idea and not yours. Otherwise, I end up looking through dirty windows surrounded by decade-old magazines, a busted washing machine and a broken bicycle–trying to get a peek at the sun.