Tag Archives: flattery

Curry Favor

Curry favor: (v) to seek to advance oneself

“All you have to do…”

I do believe I’ve heard them all.

I’m talking about those suggestions given by well-meaning souls to help place you in a position where you will be able to curry favor and …

  • Get the job.
  • Date the girl.
  • Secure the prize.
  • Win the position.
  • Or just garner an invitation.

I will be honest and tell you that I have followed much of that advice from time to time, having no reason to reject it.

I wanted to be “inside” something that presently was forbidden to me.

If I needed to use flattery or even a certain amount of deception, I was up to the challenge.

You know what I discovered?

I didn’t curry favor—I curried acceptance.

The favor was much more difficult to get.

But to simply be included—get a number, let in the door or granted a meeting—does allow the philosophy of “all you have to do” to pay off.

But if your intention is to make an impact, leave a lasting impression, advance a theory or establish yourself within the framework, then all the suggestions given to you to gain acceptance will falter.

For they never grant you the focus you need to be successful.

Weak people want to hear how good they are.

Strong people want to learn how to overcome their weakness, which they will often hide.

If you want to curry favor, you must:

  1. Help.

An obvious action of offering something that brings improvement.

  1. Give.

Take something of yourself and present it to assist a cause without trying to barter a deal.

  1. Listen.

Before you assume you know what to do, give ear to the sounds in the room so you can alter the negative and introduce the positive.

  1. Stop pushing. Carry.

Don’t try to promote yourself. Instead, carry some of the burden and make yourself immediately valuable to those who are weary.

We often have a mistaken idea that being nice or tough will get us in the door.

What actually opens the door is being kind and persistent.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Come-on

Come-on: (n) a gesture or remark that is intended to attract someone sexually.

Is it just sexually?

When I consider the Internet, I realize there are “come-ons” at every turn.

Of course, some of them can be sexual exploitation, but there is also a great deal of flattery that is thrown around in an attempt to gain a dollar bill.

The problem with every come-on is flattery.

If you’re speaking sexually, it’s highly unlikely you’ll garner the attention, and therefore the pleasure of a partner, by highlighting flaws. No, you have to make it
clear that you are Anthony and she is Cleopatra, or if that reference is too old, you have to pretend that she is Kim Kardashian to your Kanye. (Perhaps by the time this is released to the public, that reference may also be erroneous.)

But also, in business there is the notion that money exists separate from talent, and can be extracted by making people with no ability think for a brief moment that they can be something they never will be.

So rather than becoming a nation which makes products, we have become a nation intent on making ourselves, personally, a product.

Each individual wants to be a brand. So we are susceptible to all sorts of build-up and promotion which causes us to think that if we simply punch this button, in no time at all we will have “thousands of hits and millions of followers.”

It’s a come-on.

For instance, who doesn’t want to “make America great again?” But truthfully, who wants to do anything personally to achieve it?

We think it’s all about plans, maneuvers and business dealings and we’ll pick up a fatter check. It’s a come-on. And it seems to work.

There is an old saying: “There is a way that seems right unto a man, but the end of it is destruction.”

There is also a well-traveled axiom in the business world: If people are interested in what you do, they show up with the money. They don’t ask you for it.

You can take a lot of sadness out of your life by refusing to be tempted by come-ons.

Find your heart, discover your motivation, practice your talent, put it out to the nearest market. See what happens.

 

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