Tag Archives: grumpy

Adversary

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Adversary: (n) one’s opponent in a contest, conflict or dispute

I’m not so sure it’s about being an opponent.

Sometimes I think the conflict that exists between people is chemical–or certainly sensory. Our feuds and grudges are triggered by a dislike of some aspect of the personality or the appearance of our foe.

Once we get into that “grumpy” mindset, we start looking for reasons to disdain them, which is not that difficult to achieve, considering how all of us are stained with flaws and foibles.

So we end up with an adversary–someone who brings out our worst instead of our best.

It’s not exactly an enemy, although I’m sure the two words could be used synonymously. An enemy is someone who has proclaimed an intention to stand against us, no matter what. An adversary is a person who just doesn’t like how we do things, who we are, how we look or any of our choices, and therefore always wants to “nit-pick” whenever we’re around.

It is much more common that we would ever believe.

Matter of fact, I have come to believe that a large number of marital relationships are adversarial. Two people who share a bed often find it difficult to evenly distribute the covers. It makes them testy and overly sensitive.

So what should we do with an adversary?

  • It’s ridiculous to continue to aggravate one by flaunting our presence.
  • A suggestion is made in the Good Book that we should “reason with our adversary.” But what does that mean? Doesn’t reasoning have to begin with some reasonable respect for one another?
  • I think sometimes the greatest gift I can give to someone who finds me distasteful is to not be around so often for them to sample my flavor.
  • And when I find myself in their presence, I should be careful not to launch my personality, which they have already determined to be over the top.

Human life IS adversarial–we’re not going to escape it. But what we can do is refuse to become defensive by pursuing an offensive approach to those who have decided to cast their lot against us.

We just need to get over the notion that it is impossible for someone not to like us. It is not only possible–it is highly likely.

So maybe THAT’S what it means to reason with your adversary … just give ’em enough air to breathe that does not sniff of you.

Accumulate

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Accumulate: (v.) to gather together or acquire an increasing number or quantity

It all comes down to what you’re gathering together.  In my mind, accumulation is associated with rain or snow. I guess one could accumulate great wealth.

But we rarely talk about accumulating intangibles. For instance, we don’t accumulate friends. We don’t really accumulate a sense of well-being.

Too bad. It’s not so much that the best things in life are free–it’s just that when we finally work our tails off to earn the things we think are best, we’re too exhausted to enjoy them.

So it’s really smart to accumulate things that don’t take a whole lot of effort, but instead, have a great pay-off. Matter of fact, it might be fun to tie a number to them. In other words:

  • Getting an ice cream cone at Burger King for fifty cents is a 3 in effort and a 10 in accumulation.
  • Working 40 hours a week at my job is a 10 in effort and a 3 in accumulation.
  • Sitting through a church service?? Well, that’s a toughie. I’m afraid that often it’s a 9 in effort and a 2 in accumulation.
  • Listening to a politician tout his or her programs–well, I think you get the idea.

We have found the secret to life, have we not? So how can I invest my daily bread of energy effectively to accumulate the better mixture of tangible holdings and intangible blessing? Quite frankly, we become grumpy if we have to work too hard to get so little.

You have to admire the heavens, which simply open up the clouds and dump whatever is available–hot OR cold. They don’t apologize or put forth extreme, strenuous effort. They just rain. They just snow. But in the meantime, we receive accumulation.

That’s what I want to be. Without coming across too weird or ethereal, if I could just be a cloud that floats along until it’s my time to dump my precipitation and then relax and let it flow–I would be happy.

Human life is too often spent determining what we want to do, fussing about it, arguing over it and planning it–only to be disappointed in the end at the turn-out. What if we flipped it? What if we put LESS effort in an attempt to get more results?

For when it’s all said and done, people will look back on our time of occupying terra firma and said, “What did they accumulate?”

If we make it look easy, we might encourage somebody to do more–instead of scaring them away from excellence.