Tag Archives: improvisation

Bully

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Bully: (n) a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.

Shakespeare was convinced that all the world’s a stage, and each one of us are actors performing a part.

It’s an interesting theory–but actually, all the world is an improvisational troupe with seven members–but only four usually show up. So rather than having a role, you end up making up what’s going to happen next, and also filling in for those who fail to appear.

That’s more accurate.

So the truth of the matter is, sometimes we may accidentally, or even purposely, find ourselves in the position of being a bully.

Was the United States a bully when it went into Vietnam? By the definition afforded us by Webster, we were certainly trying to take over a weaker people. Yes, control a debilitated nation.

Is it bullying when we ask people to motivate folks to do their best?

Does a football coach bully a player who’s not playing up to his ability by temporarily humiliating him in front of the team?

If you’re going to make a practice of finding the faults of others and pointing them out to produce ridicule, then I think you’re officially a bully.

But if you occasionally find yourself needing to motivate a friend by challenging him or her by pointing out laziness and lack of will, then you’re probably not a bully. You may be doing the work of the angels.

Over half of the things I’ve learned about life and how to treat other people were acquired in school as a child by interacting on the playground.

  • I suppose it could be said I was bullied to catch a ball.
  • I was bullied into playing two-square, even though I was told it was a girl’s game.
  • I was bullied into running faster so the hit I made during baseball could be a double instead of just a single.

It doesn’t mean there weren’t bullies on the playground, who did nothing but find the weaker brothers and sisters and humiliate them for no reason at all.

But if I had the ability to do better and was challenged to do it, that’s not bullying. That’s friendship.

If it’s out of my control–like having a fat belly or stubby legs–then that’s downright mean.

 

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Ad lib

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Ad lib (v): to speak or perform in public without previously preparing the words: e.g. Charles had to ad lib because he forgot his script.

  • Spontaneous
  • Improvisation
  • Extemporaneous

These are words that pepper our society and the language of those who deem themselves to be so creative, entertaining and intelligent that at the drop of a hat, they can begin to postulate on almost any subject with clarity and beauty, to the awe of the hearer.

Actually, all they do is DROP their hat.

I don’t think there’s anything more ridiculous than believing that things that come off the top of our head has as much value as something thought through and dug out of the depths of our heart.

I understand there are times we ALL ad lib–especially in moments of crisis–but I must tell you that even when we get surprised, to simply leap in to cover nervous energy with more words, explanation or just a series of twitches is no replacement for finding concise expression.

So when I’m surprised, instead of launching into a juggernaut of words or approaching my thoughts as if I were a Rubik’s Cube that has to be wiggled around to a solution, I just like to buy some time.

To me, people who are in a hurry to push me to make a decision are usually determined to establish my foolishness. People who require an immediate answer are more often than not certain that they’ve cornered me in my own defeat.

There are only two things that can happen when you ad lib–three, I guess, if you think you can pull it off. But the main two are that you talk too much or you hem-haw around with a bunch of “ums” and “ahs” which only makes the listener believe that you don’t know what you’re talking about.

I have friends who say that politicians need to pause and reflect before they answer questions, but I think it comes across like they’re searching through their publicity material for something safe to say without going off party lines.

I used to think that going on stage and doing a bunch of improv or ad libs made my show funnier or more organic. Actually, it just made me sound like I was rambling, with the audience trying to keep up with what the subject was in the first place.

As often as possible, put your thoughts together. Even write them down–so people know you put some care into it. And if you find that your notes don’t cover the breadth of the subject, or another one comes before you, take a general pause before audaciously choosing to believe that your magic tongue can weave a spell.

I am not a fan of ad lib and improv. I think it is often done by talented people who have forgotten that they got to where they are by using well-constructed words instead of believing they are “miracle orators.”

And don’t forget–there is always that possibility, if you want to be a really decent human being and escape all politics–of just turning to your audience and saying: “I don’t know.”