Tag Archives: Leave It to Beaver

Beaver

Beaver: (n) a large semiaquatic broad-tailed rodentDictionary B

The word “beaver” torments me–mainly because I have no personal experience with the creature. But it has entered my life through story, myth and even double-entendre.

It is so unfair.

Truthfully, I can’t hear the word “beaver” without considering the sexual implication, which has been placed upon it by a generation of goofballs.

I do feel I would have great empathy with the beaver (if I actually knew one) because I, too, would occasionally like to “dam it all.”

Yes–rumor has it that beavers build dams.

I don’t know if these structures are required, and I’m not quite sure why the beaver wants to do so, and certainly totally unmotivated to find out–even for the purpose of adding some credence and intelligence to this essay.

I know there’s a football team in Oregon called the Beavers.

If memory serves, beavers have large, protruding front teeth (I assume for gnawing wood in the process of building their dams.)

And of course, I have memories of a television show called “Leave It To Beaver,” which had nothing at all to do with building anything and had no purposeful double entendres.

So if I happened to run across a forest agent who identified himself as a “beaver inspector,” I’m afraid it would be difficult for me to carry on a conversation…without giggling. 

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Artless

Artless: (adj) without guile or deception; simple and naturaldictionary with letter A

I believe the phrase is, “I’m going to date myself.”

It doesn’t mean that I’m going to wine and dine some portion of my being over a very expensive dinner. I believe the idea is that I’m going to let you know how old I truly am.

I don’t do this very often, but for the sake of this essay I will succumb to a bit of nostalgia.

The character’s name was Eddie Haskell. He was on a show called, “Leave It to Beaver” (which nowadays could not be spoken aloud without giggles).

Eddie Haskell was the smooth-talking, courtly, insincere friend of Wally and the Beav, who was constantly getting them in trouble because as soon as the adults left the room he turned into some sort of devious devil from the dark pits of hell, devising plans of mischief.

Now, I will tell you–it is possible to be Eddie Haskell without being evil. Matter of fact, most of us are taught a “Haskellian” approach to life. And here it is:

“The harder you try the more successful you’re going to be.”

I object to this contention. Here’s what I’ve discovered:

Trying hard is exhausting.

  • Once exhausted, it is very easy to lose the glimmer of your original goal.
  • Once that’s gone, you end up doing things because you have to.
  • And if you look at the world around us, there is an almost-universal grimace of compulsion instead of passion.

Life was never meant to be hard. If you get around people who think it’s hard, you should leave quickly before you, too, become jaded.

The artless way to live is a three-fold process:

  1. Learn how nature works.
  2. Don’t argue with it.
  3. Develop a plan that works within the natural order

There you go.

Most of our struggles are due to the fact that we are determined to ignore what has proven to be true.

Eddie Haskell thought he could manipulate adults by “acting nice.”

All he ended up doing was making the grown-ups cynical, looking suspicious himself, and ending up blamed for all the misdeeds.　

 

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