Tag Archives: self-esteem

Achilles

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Achilles: a hero of the Trojan War. During his infancy his mother plunged him into the Styx, making his body invulnerable except for the heel by which she held him. During the Trojan War, Achilles killed Hector but was later wounded in the heel by an arrow shot by Paris, and died.

Since I saw the movie, Troy, Achilles will always be Brad Pitt to me. Or maybe it’s that Brad Pitt will always be Achilles. Whichever floats your boat. And speaking of floating your boat … Supposedly Helen of Troy had an affair with Paris, which started a war and launched a thousand ships.

If you watch the movie, you see the portrayal of a very arrogant, self-sufficient, mean-spirited, dark, quizzical and I suppose to the average woman between the ages of fourteen and twenty-five, sexy Achilles.

He liked killing people.

That should be one of the classic turn-offs, but it seemed to be very exciting to his fellow-fighters and all the women who met him. He was rather ruthless, which the Greeks, who touted themselves to be such a scholarly bunch, still extolled as noble. He considered himself to be invincible, which lends itself to a bit of foolishness and certainly makes one obnoxious.

What did I learn about Achilles? I relearned the very valuable lesson that half of what I believe about myself is only true because it hasn’t been tested, and the other half, that has been tested, I do not believe, for some reason or another, to be sufficient to my needs.

We are all foolish when we think that because we haven’t yet met an enemy who can take us down, that we are beyond conquering. And we’re also quite silly when we downplay the TRUE virtues of our soul and talent, deeming them insignificant.

If Achilles had just been a good soldier, treated people better, and had not run into battle believing he was made of titanium, he probably could have lived to a ripe old age, had children and been deeply respected by the world around him. Instead, he let his ego drive his mission rather than using common sense and restraint.

It’s doubtful that dipping him in the River Styx actually achieved the purpose of making him supernatural. It sure did give him a lot of confidence, though–that is, until somebody shot an arrow in just the right place.

Interesting. Since we talk about Achilles, I wonder if that’s where we got the phrase, “that person’s a real heel.”

 

Achieve

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Achieve: (v.) to reach or attain a desired objective, level or result by effort, skill or courage.

If we just realized that contradictions are what drive us crazy, we could begin to identify them, expose them as the charlatans they are and move on to better aspirations.

This is certainly obvious in our society’s penchant to advertise self-esteem and glorify achievement at the same time. I am told “I am fine the way I am” as I am invited to celebrate the success of another individual, who instead of being satisfied with his or her abilities, pursued excellence. How can you insist that people are acceptable in their present form, and still alienate them from the feeling of victory which comes from pursuing their talents?

I just don’t get it. We have to either decide that mediocrity is commendable or we have to stop giving awards at the Superbowl. If the Number 30 team in the league is just as good as the Number 1 team because they can “suit up,” then why do we have tournaments to declare a final winner?

Which one is it? Are we sufficient in our present status? Or do we need to achieve?

Does God’s grace cover all of our numerous iniquities and stupidities? Or does He extend grace to us to grant us time to do better?

Until we resolve this dilemma in our society, we will be yanking on the emotions of human beings, at first granting them absolution for their less-than-adequate efforts, and then criticizing them for being lethargic.

Here’s what I think:

  1. Encouragement is a good thing if it is honestly telling people that they need to achieve.
  2. And achievement is tremendous if we allow people the dignity and honor of growing, feeling appreciated through their efforts.

I don’t think we should compare people who don’t compare in ability, nor do I think we should take individuals who have been given much and cut them slack because they don’t wish to participate.

Human motivation is really quite simple–if you have much, much is expected of you. If you have a little, a little is expected of you.

And if you want to achieve greatness, take your “little” … and multiply it.

 

Ace

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Ace: (n.)1. a playing card ranked as the highest card in its suit in most card games 2. a person who excels at a particular sport or other activity 3. (in tennis and similar games) a service that an opponent is unable to return and thus wins a point.

Do you like to play blackjack? Some people call it “Twenty-One.”

I’ve never been a great card advocate, but I do enjoy an occasional game of blackjack.

It’s the reason I admire an ace. When an ace pops up in a blackjack game, you have a choice. Isn’t that great?? No other card in the deck gives you an option. You can count your ace as an eleven, or if for some reason it’s needed, you can tally it as a one. (I hope those are universal rules–that’s the way I’ve always played it.)

So as I read the definition, I realized that’s what an ace is. Once you’ve taken yourself to a place where you’ve been an eleven, you’re not afraid to perch yourself in a lower seat, as a one. If you’ve always been a one, you probably resent the hell out of being a one, and constantly wish you were an eleven.

This is why it’s impossible to build self-esteem in people without first teaching them self-awareness and giving them an opportunity for personal achievement.

I like the ace. It has been an eleven often enough–the top card in the deck–so that it doesn’t feel diminished when it needs to be a one.

That’s the way I want to live my life. I want to be an ace but I don’t want to be afraid to sometimes play the single note that’s part of a chord.

Account

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Account: (n.) 1. a report or description of an event or experience. 2. a record or statement of financial expenditure or receipts. 3. an arrangement by which a body holds funds on behalf of a client. 4. importance of: money was of no account to her.

It’s that last definition that I’m most familiar with.

As a kid, my mother and father often referred to local folks as being “of no account.” I suppose they might have had some insight on the issue because they owned a loan company and received payments from many of these citizens each and every month, or on other occasions, DIDN’T receive such remuneration.

As a youngster, I didn’t think much about the statement–it seemed logical enough. It communicated to me that there were certain people who were valuable and self-sufficient, and then there were those who hung on for dear life by their fingernails, waiting for others to solve all their problems so they could slip into the back door to the celebration party, sheepishly bringing some chip dip and pretending they were part of the miracle.

Here’s the problem: if we could actually extend compassion to another person without feeling supremacy, then such an action would have divine conclusions. But the minute we open our wallets, our hearts or the door to our finance to other creatures who are less fortunate, we tend to place a status on them which renders them incapable of solvency.

How can you help somebody while at the same time empowering them?

For about two decades, we have attempted this by using the verbiage of “self-esteem,” pumping people full of hot air like balloons. When we arrive the next day and they’re flat, we pump them up again. No one knows for sure whether it’s on the eighth pumping or the twelfth that we stop being gentle to these deflated souls. But as long as we’re using air to try to make people look plumper instead of the opportunity  to be viable, then a part of our society will remain of “no account” and another portion will be nasty and snide.

Are there people who are just destined to be dependent? I don’t know. But the minute I believe that’s true, I cease to be of any value to the world around me.

I think we should approach life as if it’s an elementary school cafeteria. We all stand in line, get the same plate of food, walk to similar tables, with identical eating utensils and we either devour our portion with joy, producing energy, or we get too damn picky and end up hungry fifteen minutes later, looking for a snack.

The message? Encourage people to eat. Sometimes the food is a little less satisfying than other times, but eat it up. Sometimes it’s your favorite meal and you arrive at the next dining opportunity disappointed because it’s not repeated. Eat it up anyway.

Why? Because today has just enough in it for you if you slurp it up joyfully, granting you the opportunity to be successful.

I do believe that NoOne is better than anyone else. I just think some people finish their plate instead of scraping it into the trash. Those who do make it through the day understand why it happened. Those who don’t gave up somewhere along the way and lift their hands to the heavens, wondering why in God’s name it happened.

My mom and dad were wrong. There are NO people descended from Adam and Eve who are of “no account.” There are those children of Eden, however, who decline the provision given to them, dreaming and yearning for the magical apple.