by J. R. Practix

Acerbic: (adj.): a sharp and forthright style of speaking: e.g. his acerbic wit

Nice:   I like your outfit.

Mean:  Did you dress in the dark?

Acerbic: Oh, I didn’t know that was back in style.

Nice:  That was a delicious dinner.

Mean: Thanks for the grub–now I’ll spend the next two days in the toilet.

Acerbic: I see you must have gotten yourself a cookbook without knowing where to locate all the spices.

Nice:  I loved your singing.

Mean: Here’s twenty dollars. Take some singing lessons.

Acerbic: Interesting. How would you characterize that style?

As you can see, we all have the chance to be nice–or to take the degrading position of meanness. Unfortunately, I believe that acerbic is just mean people pretending they’re nice … by adding three drops of clever.