by J. R. Practix

Accede:  (n.): 1. assent or agree to a demand, request or treaty 2. assume an office or position

I think I’ve got it figured out.

If we ever want to have a good President of the United States, we must track down the best candidate, hunt him or her as they try to escape the responsibility, place this magical individual in a cage, throw him or her into the White House and refuse to feed the captive or allow him or her to bathe until they agree to govern us.

As long as we are VOTING for people who actually think they ARE worthy to be the leaders of the free world and the controllers of the most destructive forces ever conceived by mankind, we will end up with a cavalcade of clowns who are trying to climb out of the same car to race across the tarmac to Air Force One.

The only truly acceptable profile of anyone looking at the job of President of the United States–to accede to that office–would be to accede that this particular position should not be occupied by a mere mortal.

To me, it would be similar to discovering that Brad Pitt had left Angelina Jolie and that I was the logical candidate to replace him in her life by purchasing an air ticket to her city of residence, toting a dozen red roses and an engagement ring. You see, there are so many presumptions in that particular thought that it would be difficult to dissect it without it falling apart in your hands.

Maybe I am too humbled by everything.

• Because I have not always owned brand new cars, every time I put my key in the ignition of my current vehicle, I am delighted nearly to the point of tears when it starts.
• I am humbled to be a father–especially on those occasions when my children’s successes have certainly exceeded my efforts.
• I am humbled when I stand in front of an audience and share my thoughts. Why should they care? Why should they listen?

Sometimes the best person for the job is the reluctant one, who’s trying to slip out the door before the voting begins.

But in this craziness of assumed democracy, how can we ever get the best man or woman for the job–when the sound of chest-thumping overwhelms the voice of reason?