Bark

Bark: (n) the sharp explosive cry of certain animals, especially a dog.Dictionary B

Although it seems very noble to rescue an animal from a shelter, turning the creature into a pet, it is actually similar to seeking a bride by going to a mental hospital.

What they fail to tell you about “rescue dogs” is that often they’ve been abused, misused and further traumatized by being in kennels around belligerent animals who may not even allow them to eat.

I do not offer this as a critique of the process of trying to welcome these friends into our households.

I, too, went to a Rescue to get a dog. I wanted a mutt because my experience is that they are the more intelligent breeds. But not only was my dog abused, but came to my home sick–with fleas, ticks, and nearly died within the first 24 hours.

Yet no matter how much training I gave this pup, he had so much memory of mistreatment that he never quite learned to be…well, let us say, amicable. So every time somebody knocked at the door, he went into a barking fit and was overly aggressive to strangers.

It became a problem.

So we decided to buy one of those collars which lightly shocks the dog whenever he barks without permission. You place it around his neck, and you hold a remote in your hand which can inflict some minor pain on the animal if he begins to erupt with objection.

Well, I will tell you–it works.

It works in the sense that when my mentally ill dog started to bark and I pushed the button, he stopped.

He stopped barking and started whining.

Yes, his barking was replaced with whining.

I don’t have to go into much explanation here, do I? Which would you rather have–a yapping dog or a whimpering canine in pain?

Needless to say, I removed the collar and allowed the old fella to bark at his discretion until he passed away and went to Doggie Something-Or-Other.

To say that a dog’s bark is worse than his bite is to leave out the fact that anything that barks at you is intimidating. That goes for coyotes, rescue dogs … and contentious people.

 

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Antenna

dictionary with letter A

Antenna: (n) 1. a rod or wire used to transmit or receive radio or television signals 2. a pair of thin sensory appendages on the heads of insects

A thirteen-inch black and white portable television purchased for $29.95 at a store called Buckeye Mart.

It’s all we could afford.

I was recently married, had a child, and poverty was our constant friend.

So we took the little TV set to our home, hooked it up, and attached this circular antenna, which looked like a huge paper clip, turned on the set, and got basically a snow-covered screen with a faint picture in the background.

So I fiddled with the antenna.

What I discovered was that every time I put my hand on the antenna, the picture would get better. If I removed my hand from the antenna, we went back to the snowstorm.

It was annoying.

So then I tried to dangle a coat hanger from a nearby table, lying it delicately on top of the previous antenna, hoping it would simulate the same effect as my hand.

It didn’t.

Now, my son was nearly two years old. At that age, they are still intent on pleasing their daddy. Please understand, I’m not proud of what I did–perhaps even a little reluctant to share it with you. But there was a football game I wanted to see, so I convinced my little son that he could build up muscle and prove what a man he was if he would hold up the antenna for Daddy.

Even though it did make the picture better, his constant whining and need for approval greatly deterred from my enjoyment of the game.

Finally, with his arm aching and a tear running down his cheek from obvious strain and pain, I became convicted of my selfishness and allowed him to go off in the other room and play.

Antennas are wonderful things. They allow us to connect with the outside world. But sometimes, when they don’t work, they are an aggravating reminder of the realization that things are not always what they’re advertised to be. 

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