by J. R. Practix

Acciaccatura: (n) a grace note performed as quickly as possible before an essential note of a melody, and falling before the beat

I play piano.

I have played it since I was a kid. There were some intervals in my life when I ceased to pound the keys because I thought it was “wussy” or girl-like. But when I realized that chicks LIKE to hear guys play the piano, I reinstated my talent.

Now, when I say I play the piano, by no means am I suggesting that I am great–but rather, have discovered a proficiency which can imitate greatness in the presence of those more forgiving.

One of the things about playing the piano–it demands both hands. If you think about it, there are not a whole lot of things we humans do with two our hands cooperating with each other, and if you’re not aware of it, your right hand and left hand are a lot like feuding brother and sister, who do not see life in the same light.

So occasionally when moving from one chord to another, a dragging finger will linger too long on a note which has absolutely nothing to do with the proposed plan. If you’re lucky, this delinquent digit will not stay long enough to create a discordant sound. But if you’re not … apparently we have a word for it.

Acciaccatura.

Now, I’m sure that some musical snobs would insist that this particular notation in the musical score is purposeful and meaningful. I will not argue with them. But in a pinch, it’s really nice when you’ve accidentally hit a note that was NOT meant to be, but have gotten off of it very quickly–to plead “acciaccatura.”

I think it would be wonderful if all of our mistakes could be spoken away in Italian.

“La-boo-boo.” What do you think of that one?

“Screwaniniuppo.” It definitely sounds better, doesn’t it?

And I, for one, am not going to rail against those who come up with clever phrasing to explain away occasional human flaws and errors. So the next time you hear me play the piano and you perceive a note which might be misplaced, please realize that I have just performed … an acciaccatura.