“Eating” is not my problem.
“Ate” is my problem.
Merely thinking about eating or sitting down to a table, acquiring a plate, spoon and fork and looking at food, deciding what I’m going to partake of, is all part of the natural process of rejuvenating my body.
Having done that to an excess, stuck with not only unwanted calories but a conscience that seems to have the tenderness of a young Baptist Sunday School girl, becomes a torture to my soul. (I often wonder why that young Baptist little girl doesn’t show up before I eat things, to tell me how I should avoid them instead of arriving to taunt me with my sins of gluttony.)
I’m also accosted by a society that believes it has no responsibility for plumping us all up like Thanksgiving turkeys, to be slaughtered off by a myriad of ax-wielding disorders and diseases.
So I’m forced into a corner where two conflicting spirits are constantly battling over my mortal soul.
The first spirit is what I call the “what the hell” specter. For after all, I’ve survived a long time being fat, and how much extra life span am I going to gain by eating lettuce instead of smoked sausage? And my “what the hell” demon also asks if that extra extension of months or weeks is worth losing the flavor?
Then I have a little tiny spirit, somewhat dwarfed in comparison, who insists that any time I can acquire to extend my creativity and fellowship with humanity is well worth a bit of sacrifice over one plate of food.
It is a battle I occasionally win.
- Sometimes I can look at what I ate for the day and believe it is normal, or maybe even capable of reducing my girth.
- Often I can look at what I ate and professionally present to you exactly where I went astray, and tilted the scales–literally–to my detriment.
It is impossible to believe that either my willpower or our society will ever gain the compassion to free me from my obesity.
I have three recourses:
- I can try to win, one plate at a time.
- Eat my way into an early grave
- Or attempt to live off the grace of God…while convincing myself that bacon is healthy.
Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) — J.R. Practix