Bowel Movement

Bowel movement: (n) an act of defecation.

We aren’t supposed to talk about it.Dictionary B

Matter of fact, it could be the definition of friendship. A friend is someone who has joined you in lengthy discussions about bowel movements.

Since it is the forbidden fruit of human dialogue, generally speaking, you have to develop a very close relationship with a fellow-bowel-mover to actually feel comfortable to open yourself up.

And once you get started, you can’t stop talking about it. It’s as if you’ve been culturally constipated and suddenly are granted the free flow of expression.

Uncorked, as it were.

And it is so enlightening when you hear other people discuss their “seated times,” and realize how much you have in common with them–with some delightful differences. It can nearly bring you to tears.

But we are told not to speak of such things and certainly not to joke about them. Otherwise we’ll be accused of “bathroom humor.”

It is amazing that something done by most people at least once a day is relegated to conversational obscurity.

So if you’re ever around me and I start sharing about “b.m.” you can be certain of two things:

  1. It’s on my mind
  2. You must be a damn good friend.

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