Butt

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Butt: (n) the posterior

It is time once again for this well-seasoned traveler to admit his limitations and the true extent of his ignorance.

I do it willingly, because if I don’t, someone will do it anyway, against my will. So here we go:

What is all the damn interest in the butt?

I just don’t get it. Does anybody remember when a butt was an ass? Now it seems to be a symbol of sexual presence, if not prowess.

The other day, I heard somebody comment about the attractiveness of a particular woman, saying, “You could bounce a quarter off her ass.”

Not only does that sound like a rude game, but I don’t understand the significance. Maybe that’s because I was taught that a hardass was negative.

What is all the interest in the back door?

I use mine to stink. Matter of fact, that’s what it seems to do the best. I’ve heard people describe different applications, but I normally found myself wanting to run, terrified, from the room.

Do other people besides me also wonder why the posterior has suddenly become acceptable to discuss with the interior?

Does anybody else think that a woman’s face or a man’s countenance is more attractive than their caboose?

Or might the thought be that if you have a nice trunk space, then there’s a good chance the engine works?

I’m really confused. I don’t often want to go back to former times, nor do I feel especially nostalgic.

But I think it might do us well to return to a season when the butt had clearly established its seat of power.

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