Coma: (n) a state of deep unconsciousness that lasts for a prolonged or indefinite period
It is the most frustrating, mystifying and perhaps unachievable emotion available in the human heart–to continue to pursue a path of behavior and passion with no evidence that such devotion will ever guarantee success.
I was very young, and not just in years. I was young to the idea of inconveniencing myself.
Even though television portrays dutiful family members staying by the bedside of their loved one who is in a coma, the TV dramas only dwell in that lonely, still room for thirty seconds or so.
The silence is maddening.
Some nurses told me that people in a coma can hear, and others said there was absolutely no medical evidence that the patient has any awareness of the outside world at all. I stayed by his bedside.
Minutes were hours.
And the days seemed like years.
I hated it. I felt like I was putting on a show for those around me by perching next to the unresponsive body of my young son, pretending to create a connection.
To my regret, I often slipped away early or arrived late.
A coma is when a human separates from us before drawing his or her last breath, letting us know how fragile life truly is.
My son finally did emerge from his coma, only to live in a vegetative state for about six years. The only thing he gained was an obvious function to feel more pain.
A horrible experience.
At times I have tried to glean some value from it, but ultimately, in my more cognitive perceptions, I declare it darkness.