Cord: (n) (Electricity) a small, flexible, insulated cable used to transfer electrical power

Unpacking all the paraphernalia we decided to bring along to the cabin for a camping trip, we discovered that the waffle iron we had borrowed was minus the electrical cord to plug into the wall so the waffles could be toasted.

I remember saying to my friends who had gathered for this little excursion, “Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure something out.”

I really believed it in that moment. Somehow or another I failed to recognize that the distance between my waffle iron and the electricity in the wall needed to be covered by some sort of cord that would make them compatible to one another.

When it was discovered that we had no cord or connection, or that an extension cord could not be plugged into it and work, on the third day of staring at the apparatus which was so promising of the possibility of delicious golden-brown waffles, I decided to tear into it and find a way to take a piece of my extension cord and wire it up, using the connectors from the machine to plug it into the wall.

I was convinced I could do it. Matter of fact, I was so confident that I was already considering various ways to humbly deflect the praise from my companions for being so ingenious.

I worked on it for two-and-a-half hours.

I don’t know why I worked on it for two-and-a-half hours, because within the first ten minutes it was obvious to me that I didn’t know one damn thing about what I was doing.

But that didn’t seem to make any difference. After all, there may be very little in life that is worse than a waffle iron without a cord.

Finally, I found two connections in the waffle iron that I hooked the wires onto, and then I took the plug—the end that goes into the wall—and stuck it in the outlet.

It sparked and nearly exploded the waffle machine. A burning electrical smell filled the cabin as a tiny cloud of bluish-gray smoke drifted through the air.

No one was killed. Really, that’s the best I can say.

But then, not only did not have waffles, but needed to come up with a real good excuse to tell the people we borrowed it from for why we decided to sabotage and blow up their machine.

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