Dave: (n) a male given name.
Realization: it is the goal of life.
To come to some sort of conclusion that fits both the circumstances and the purity of truth.
Sometimes a realization is a couple of steps away; sometimes so it sits on top of you.
But there are times that a realization seems so uncertain that it may take many years for the brain, the soul and the heart to have a decent meeting and come to common ground.
I knew a fellow named Dave.
Dave was four years older than me.
Dave loved music.
Dave loved gospel music.
He was one of those classically attractive men of bygone days—with long, dark, straight hair, which he wore in bangs coming down to his eyebrows, making him appear much younger than he actually was.
Even though Dave had graduated from high school, was married and had a baby, he wanted to sing so much that he lobbied to join our group of high school friends.
What helped us make the decision was that Dave had a van and went out and bought a bunch of sound equipment, causing his entrance into our organization to be much more likely.
I didn’t like Dave.
Dave didn’t like me.
I was a precocious young man, who my enemies would have called “arrogant.”
It was my group. It sure wasn’t Dave’s.
As I look back on it now, I realize that Dave was unpopular with people his own age. Dave felt trapped in a marriage and was completely uncertain of fatherhood.
Dave wanted to be a professional gospel singer, traveling around the country wearing fancy suits and new patent-leather shoes.
Well, that didn’t fit in with our group—but he was so desperate to stay in the cattle call that he just decided to be one of our steers.
I probably didn’t like him because he was good-looking.
But Dave was one of those guys who had enough insecurity that attractive women were a bit put off by his tentative nature.
So even though he didn’t want to hang around a bunch of high school punks, he needed us to have a band. We needed him to have a van and a sound system.
It was all very nasty.
But recently, as I’ve thought back on this arrangement, I’ve realized that Dave was the greater loser from interacting with us. Well, especially with me.
I had lots of friends, I talked a good game and I was fortunate enough to have plenty of musical talent.
I undercut Dave, I made him angry and was so unsure of myself that I nearly gave him a nervous breakdown.
And even after I graduated from high school and he still wanted to work with me, I treated him like my neighbor’s dog’s poop.
Eventually, at the end of a singing engagement one night, he went his way and I went mine.
I never saw Dave again.
I’ve tried to locate him but had little success.
Or maybe I know that if Dave wanted to get in contact with me, he probably would have done so by now.
Here’s the thing about realizations:
Because they’re pretty damn real.