Tag Archives: barnyard

Cack

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Cack: (n) a talkative, gossiping person

I have a new favorite word!

Cack!

How perfect! Does that not describe every single gossiping soul that you have encountered in your life?

They cackle–like poultry. And this stimulated me to realize that there are three types:

There’s the duck cack:

This is the person who tears another individual’s character apart, under the guise of concern and prayerful wishes, ducking away from the responsibility of being a back-biting loser.

This is followed by the chicken cack:

“Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck” all day long, pecking at the integrity of others, only to turn chicken and deny their involvement when confronted. They’ll even tell you who started the rumor.

And finally, there’s the goose cack:

These are people who are so sure that they’re direct emissaries from the Lord God Almighty that they’ll take their long neck and beak and unapologetically stick it up your ass–goosing you.

After all, when you speak for the heavens, you’re certainly not concerned about earthly criticism.

Here’s the question:

Can I catch myself when I become a cack?

Can I keep myself from barnyard nonsense so I have the right to live in the house with other sensible human beings?

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Abel

by J. R. Practixdictionary with letter A

Abel: (in the Bible) the second son of Adam and Eve, murdered by his brother, Cain

Abel raised goats or sheep–livestock of some sort.  It’s interesting that we call them livestock when we fully intend on killing them. That’s what Abel did. He killed one of his pet barnyard animals and presented it to God as some sort of sacrifice and evidence of his devotion.

The lesson we can learn from Abel is that you are eventually judged by the company you keep, even when it’s your own brother. For you see, his brother, Cain, was a farmer.

I mean no disrespect when I say that farming can make you crazy. Even though I admire those who till the soil, I am extraordinarily sympathetic of a livelihood where you can do everything absolutely right–pick your seed, plow, plant, fertilize–and then the sun can come and bake it too soon or the floods can drown it.  Like, you can’t do a whole lot about it, right?

Abel should have known better than to piss off his brother. After all, Cain was a farmer. Farming can make you crazy.

Sometimes you get tired of hoeing the ground, hoping for results–and in a fit of rage, you take a hoe to your brother.