Absurd

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter AAbsurd: (adj.) wildly unreasonable, illogical or inappropriate

What a revelation!

One of the first screenplays I ever wrote was returned to me by a producer with a two-word comment: “Absolutely absurd.”

I did not take a moment to go and check the definition of the word at the time, so I took it as a compliment–that the writing in this project was wacky, filled with delightful whimsy. But reading the meaning today, I now realize that this gentleman meant me no good.

Of course, it sheds light on other occasions in my life when the word “absurd” has been applied to my behavior.

I remember asking the prettiest girl in the class to go with me to the prom in my junior year of high school. She gently patted my cheek and said, “That’s absurd.” And here I thought she meant I had a great sense of humor.

No, any way you look at it, “absurd” is not a compliment. It appears to be a way of communicating the sentiment “you suck” while maintaining a certain amount of decorum.

Of course, I can think of many things that I consider to be absurd. But the problem with pointing the “absurd gun” at others is that if you live a life capable of being viewed as out of the box, you are more susceptible to verbal retaliation.

I think I will just go out and try to be funny, enjoy my life and hope that nobody criticizes my particular jovial view.

Of course, this is America. Who could possibly curtail the joy of critique?

Now that’s absurd.

Absolution

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Absolution: (n.) formal release from guilt, obligation or punishment.

I’m sorry.

About what?

About that thing.

What thing?

That thing I did wrong.

What was wrong about it?

It hurt somebody.

How did it hurt them?

I’m really not sure.

Are you saying they shouldn’t have been hurt?

No, I’m saying it probably wouldn’t have affected ME that way.

So are you sorry that you hurt them or that they’re so weak they got hurt?

Now you’re just confusing me.

So should I be sorry?

For what?

Hurting you by confusing you.

Now you’re just playing games.

So is it a game?

Is what a game?

Forgiveness.

I don’t see what you mean.

What I mean is, if you’re really not convinced that your actions were errant and misguided, how can you assure yourself that absolution would bring a change in your behavior?

Even if I don’t change, I still need absolution.

So you’re counting on me giving you absolution every time you come and ask forgiveness, even if you’re not convinced of your responsibility?

Hell, yeah.

Makes sense.

I don’t know whether it makes sense or not, but it’s me.

So how are you supposed to grow?

I guess if you keep asking me these questions, eventually I might try to understand better why I do what I do.

Okay.

See you next time.