Chiropractor

Chiropractor: (n) a practitioner of the system of medicine based on the treatment of misaligned joints.

Some people swear by them, some people swear at them.

Chiropractors, that is.

A friend of mine, when speaking about chiropractors, once suggested that they all must have gone to the University of Oregon.

This prompted me to ask, “Why do you say that?”

“Because the University of Oregon has a duck as a mascot and chiropractors are all a bunch of quacks.”

I don’t know about that. Please don’t state that as my opinion. I have never actually gone to a chiropractor. I have threatened to do so. There were many times in my life when I was looking for a joint to help my joints.

But I could never quite get myself to go, climb up on a table and be felt up–even if it was for medical purposes.

I’m sure I might get relief.

I’m positive merely getting attention from someone who understood that I was in pain would be comforting in itself. After all, forty years ago we thought acupuncture was quackery–and now it is practiced by many reputable physicians.

So I feel that I am incapable of drawing a conclusion about chiropractors. I do know this: some people get comfort and aid.

And in a time when such benefit is limited, I don’t think we should condemn anyone who provides it.

 

 

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Accrete

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Accrete: (v.) grow by accumulation or coalescence: e.g. ice that has accreted grotesquely into stalactites.

It’s hard to accumulate anything when you’re spending all your time convincing yourself it’s trash.

Although there are people in our society who think they come across intelligent by poo-poohing every idea and coming up with some reason why it won’t work, ultimately we have to take the plunge or we’re just wearing a swimsuit and never getting wet.

But as long as we have a firm belief that being critical is the definition of objective and that analyzing is the best path to progress, we won’t accumulate much of anything but ongoing failure for the project that should have been uprooted long ago and now is held in place because we have no idea how to get rid of it.

There are so many things in our political system which should have been stuffed in the garbage can generations ago, but are kept around because the alternative to them seems frightening to those who are terrified of their shadows.

There are certainly ideas which have come forth from religion, such as self-righteousness and exclusivity, which wore out their usefulness eons ago, and merely propagate because somebody has already purchased the supplies, even though there is no demand.

There are countless things being taught  in our educational system which no one will ever use in their entire life and will only make them seem like nerds if they brag about knowing them.

We continue to pummel one another as men and women, even though this alleged opponent can be the source of one of our greatest physical pleasures.

I don’t know what it’s going to take for us to develop a sense of humor and the common sense to accrete valuable things, but until we do, second best will seem like a dream, as we constnatly settle for the dregs.

I am a human being. If I am going to be honest with myself, I have to ask three questions about everything that comes my way if I am trying to decide if I want to accrete it.

1. Is it easy and simple? If it isn’t, I probably won’t do it more than once, and spend the rest of my time on earth complaining about the initial encounter, while offering an explanation on why I would never do it again.

2. Will it benefit me? I work really hard to be generous about including others, but it is certainly easier to pursue openness when I am already savoring the fruits of the experience.

3. Is there a way to make it cool? I believe one of the signs of mental illness is the insistence that you don’t need to feel cool. It is the first fruits of a persecution complex that often drives people to the top of the tower with a deer rifle, looking for targets.

There you go.

I do believe that those who have good ideas should make sure they package them in a way that’s easy, beneficial and cool. If they don’t, be prepared for the cynics to pick them apart.